All we do is drive
All we do is sit in silence
Waiting for a sign
Sick
And full of pride
All we do
Is drive


He heard it once. Barely.

Then twice.

He shifted his body, ignoring it. But he heard it the third time.

Dante grunted and sat up groggily, threw his legs over the bed, slumped forward with his eyes still closed. He waited for it to happen the fourth time, to make sure it wasn't from a dream. He began nodding off with his head in his hands when it rang again.

Echoing from the corridor outside that lead to the living room, the phone was ringing. He opened his eyes and saw the dimness of his room. It 's practically two o'clock in the morning. He released another grunt and hastily made his way out of his room to answer the phone. He didn't want to wake his parents.

Who the fuck would call at this ungodly hour?


"Hello," Dante said into the phone, his eyes shut. His voice was raspy from sleep, and he cleared his throat. "Hello?" He said again.

"Dante," his eyes snapped open, and straightened up.

"Ari," Dante whispered, but he had no reason to. His parents were upstairs and him talking moderately wouldn't wake them. "What the hell?"

Ari rarely calls him first, much less this late at night. Something twisted in Dante's guts, suddenly fully awake with worry.

He heard Ari breathe, and silence lingered.

"I just wanted to talk."

"It's balls a.m, Ari."

They listened each other breathe for awhile.

He heard Ari sniff on the other end of the line. "I just wanted to talk." He repeated, and his voice cracked, and Dante didn't need to hear anything else to know what was going on.

"Do you want me to come over?" Dante asked, but he already took a jacket hanging from a coat hanger behind him, and started to put on his dad's shoes, the phone pressed in between his ear and his shoulder, too occupied to go back to his room and get his own.

"No."

"No?" Dante asked, standing back up.

"No, I'll come get you." Ari sniffed again.

"I know where your house is, Ari." Dante deadpanned, but Ari hung up already. Dante took a deep breath before putting the phone down and headed outside.

He took the house's spare key from a drawer before leaving and locking the front door, shoving the key in his pocket, sighed, and waited out his front porch.


It didn't take long for Ari to get there, but he didn't expect Ari to bring his truck with him.

He parked the truck at the other side of the road in front of Dante's house, and Dante half-ran crossing the street. Ari wasn't looking at him when he made his way up to the truck, he still didn't look at him when Dante climbed in the passenger seat and Ari wordlessly adjusted the stick shift and they drove out into the night.

Dante took a tentative glance at Ari, and he felt like something heavy was being pressed against his chest. Ari's gaze was fixed on the road, but his jaw was clenched, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. His hair mussed from sleep, and the edges of his eyes were red, indicating either sleep deprivation or the aftermath of crying. Maybe both.

Ari knew Dante was staring at him, and for a second he regretted calling him in the first place. Ari felt like punching Dante square in the face, tell him to quit it, because Ari never appreciated people staring at him. But it was his fault he woke Dante up, his fault he brought him out his house at this hour, his fault for being a burden. Now he felt like punching himself.

They drove for a while in silence with the windows down.

Dante opened his mouth to speak, but closed it immediately. He didn't need to ask where they were going, because Dante already knew.

He opened and closed his mouth again, deciding against what he wanted to say. Dante also knew Ari doesn't like feeling pity from other people.

"Spit it out, Dante." It was the first time Ari spoke in almost half an hour that Dante almost flinched. But not because Ari's tone was harsh, but it was the complete opposite. He sounded soft, low- empty.

Dante pursed his lips, locking his eyes on the road to stop himself from staring at Ari.

"I just thought," Dante started, but he trailed off when Ari parked the car at their spot in the dessert, and climbed out, slamming the door shut.

Dante sat and breathed for a while before climbing out himself, walking to the bed of the truck and took his place sitting next to Ari.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, sitting in silence, looking at the cliff's overview of the town and the stars.

"You thought what?" Ari asked, not taking his eyes off of the view.

"I just wanted to know if you planned on talking about it." Dante answered, sneaking a glance at Ari, and immediately hating the way his heart fluttered at the sight of him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I didn't think we need to."

"Because I already knew?"

"Because you already knew."

He did know.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dante asked again after a few more minutes passed. But they both knew Dante didn't mean the same thing. Dante knew about Ari's constant and reoccurring nightmares. But he didn't know the full details of them.

Ari replied with silence. He didn't know if he just didn't feel like laying out the content of his nightmares with Dante, or if he was just too tired and couldn't be bothered by moving his mouth to form words.

Dante gave a few more minutes before giving Ari a small nod and standing up to walk back and sit in the front seat.

He looked at Ari from the rear view mirror. Ari's back was facing him, his form hunched with his elbows resting on his knees, and his head slightly tipped down.

Dante knew Ari needed to be alone for a while, even under these circumstances. Even with Dante just being a few feet away, Ari was alone but away from Dante both at the same time. And it hurt Dante.

He was hurting for Ari and he was hurting for himself. Which he thought the latter was selfish, so he quickly dismissed the idea.

Dante left Ari alone because he wanted to give Ari his own air to breathe, but also because Dante wanted to restrain himself from reaching out and bring Ari close to him. To hug him, wrap his arms around him. He wanted nothing else but to kiss Ari.

But Dante hated himself for thinking like that, knowing it's selfish. It wasn't what Ari needed, not what Ari wanted.

And Dante wanted this to be about Ari, not about himself.


He was sat at the back of the truck, feeling unable to move. It was like all his emotions were pulling him down, a hundred pound weight wrapped around his neck. Suffocating him; choking him. His dreams were almost always frightening, but tonight felt different. Tonight it felt real, it felt too close.

And he half-mindedly managed to disrupt someone's rest for his own restlessness. And he wasn't even talking to him.

Ari felt selfish. His burdens weren't for everyone, only for himself.


Dante felt selfish. His burdens weren't for everyone, only for himself.

He would often think that his own intentions would contradict his best-friend's.

Collision, conflict.

He wanted to help Ari by putting him first during these times, but it was Ari himself who would push the idea away.

And at some point Dante wanted to seize the opportunity in his own way.

But he knew he just needed to be there for Ari. As his best friend, and as his best friend only.

But Dante still felt selfish.


Ari felt selfish. That's what he thought when he decided it was time that the one-person pity party was over, and he climbed back the driver's seat.

They didn't look at each other, just felt each other's presence. The silence of the night building a thin barrier between them.

Ari was first to look at Dante, just a slight turn of his head, and Dante mimicked him.

And they stared at each other.

"I'm sorry." Ari said.

"I'm sorry." Dante replied.

But their reasons were different, and alike all the same. They both knew what the other meant.


Ari readjusted the stick shift and began their trip back into town.

They were quiet when they were heading to the desert, and they were still quiet now as they drove away.

But not because of uncertainty and tension, because they already managed to talk to each other without talking at all.

Ari released all his emotions to Dante while being a few feet apart, looking away from each other.

And now everything was clear, and Ari was calm. And Dante was almost contented.

They drove in silence because the silence of the desert night was too pure; as if talking would be like a knife tearing across soft fabric.

So they exchanged words by merely being there for the other.


Ari stopped his truck right in front of the Quintana's lawn so Dante didn't have to cross the street anymore.

But before Dante climbed off and could think otherwise, he pulled Ari into a tight hug, and used the moment up to as much as he can.

Ari, at first, hesitantly clasped his hands on Dante's shoulders, and buried his face at the crook of his neck.

Dante breathed, glad that Ari didn't push him away, at least not this time.

So Dante pulled apart from him just enough to look at Ari for a while, thinking what would happen if he just dove right in and kissed him.

But he turned away, climbed out, slammed the door and walked up to his house. His hands inside his pockets.

When he reached the front door, Dante turned around. Only to see the place where Ari's truck has been to be vacant. Ari went home.

And so did Dante.


It wasn't until a few days after that they did the same thing again.

Ari called, and Dante accompanied him to the desert.

Only to sit in silence in his truck, only to sit in silence in the desert.

It became a common thing to do.

Sometimes Ari wouldn't even have nightmares, but he just wanted to leave their neighborhood for a while. And Dante wouldn't mind sacrificing a few hours of sleep to do the same.

And on their drive home, Dante would be subconsciously too aware of every move Ari would make. How one of his hands would grip the steering wheel, and his other hand expertly flitted from one control to the other; manipulating and handling them.

While Dante sat there, wondering how one of those hands would feel gripped in his own.


Before, during, and after Dante had his issue with getting beaten up, their late night desert trips became less and less frequent.

But they talked more.

Only vague descriptions of Ari's dreams, but would resort to them talking about their day, instead. Throwing in a couple of jokes here and there.

Ari was there for Dante's recovery, and Dante was there for Ari's nightmares.

And Dante didn't feel the need to leave Ari sitting at the bed of the truck anymore, and Ari was okay with that.

And one time, Dante fell asleep with his head on Ari's lap, and Ari was okay with that.

He was becoming more and more okay with things involving Dante, and it scared him.

But Ari was okay with that.

When Dante woke up in the passenger seat on their way home, remembering how he fell asleep on Ari's lap, he shifted his body facing the window, away from Ari. Because the thought of Ari carrying Dante into the truck would strike him, and he didn't want to risk Ari seeing his face.

They would sit there, Ari assuming Dante was asleep, until Ari would reach out to wake Dante up. Only for Ari not needing to, because Dante would immediately sit up and climb out the moment the truck would park in front of his house.

And he would watch Dante enter his house before driving away, giving him his own time to think.

Because earlier that day, Ari's dad helped Ari face the fact that loved Dante.

And Ari had been scared, so he asked Dante to come with him to the desert.

But that night, he didn't think about his nightmares; he thought about his feelings for his best friend.


For five days he ignored Dante, and Dante's attempts in talking to him.

But today he called Dante, and Dante picked up.

He sounded angry; but then again, he had every right to be.

They talked, and Ari couldn't stop himself from asking Dante about Daniel. Even to the point where he asked if they have been kissing recently.

And the image of it made him angry, and he got angry at himself for getting angry.

"You guys been kissing?" Ari asked him.

"What's it to you?"

Ari clenched his fist.

"Just asking."

But Dante said no, and Ari almost smiled.

Then Dante started to insult Daniel with every fiber of his being, and now Ari was smiling.

He was smiling because he missed Dante, and he wanted to go to the desert again.

"Okay. So what are you doing tonight?" Ari asked

"Our parents are going bowling."

"They are?"

"They talk a lot."

"They do?"

"Don't you know anything?"

"I can be a little aloof sometimes."

"A little?"

"I'm trying here, Dante."

Both boys were smiling.

"They want us to go along." Dante said.

"Bowling?" Ari asked.


Later that night he was with Dante, Dante's parents, and his own.

When their parents went home, he did the thing he's been wanting to do five days ago. Whether he was aware of it or not.

He drove to the desert with Dante.


a/n:

And then chapter twenty-one ensues. :)
Okay, hi! This is my first ever Ari x Dante fanfiction and I don't know why I wrote light angst.
this ended up to be longer than I expected.
Sorry? Should I be sorry? I am nonetheless.
But I wrote this at like 1 am so I'm sorry if it's trash. (((It probably is bc I produce trash writing)))
I hope you liked it, anyway.
I got inspired by Halsey's song called 'Drive' and, well, you read what happened next.
So credits to Halsey for the brilliant song. And I also used some dialogues from the book, which can be seen in their latest phone conversation in italics.
So credits to Benjamin for being amazing and writing that and the characters.

That's about it for now.

Later, little sparrows. (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧