The CuЯse Within

I believe that all lives on the earth have received a directive of some kind. I was born with only one purpose. To destroy all 'Light'. In other words I was the seed of 'Darkness'. The source of all 'Evil'. As the seed of 'Darkness' I wasn't suppose to experience useless things such as 'Love'. That's right, I 'wasn't' supposed to experience it... I 'wasn't' supposed to interact with any source of Light. But then... I met her and it all changed my fate...

As pure as light could be, she came into my life. She always wore that smile. A smile of an 'Angel'. With those crystal blue eyes and that smile, she see through me. She sees all the pain and sorrow in me. Everyday with that smile, she comes up to me. She was like a force I couldn't get away from. The Goddess of 'Light', that was her.

As usual when I walked through the hallway of my school I could hear the useless and annoying screams of girls. I thought girls were a nuisance, until I met 'her'. Putting up with their screams and squeals were annoying and tiring. Having to go through the same things every single day. What's even more worst, I can't express what I truly feel. I was forbidden to do so. I was always told by my parents many times.

'Kai... Whatever happens don't interact with people on the side of Light. Don't let anyone get to you.'

However everything changed when I met her. I first met her in a small shop called 'Card Capital'. When I walked inside that shop, I was greeted by her warm smile. When I saw her compete against Aichi, I was a bit eager to know about her. Everyday when I visit that small shop, I would be greeted by her warm smile and I liked it.

After a months or so, we became teammates in team Q4 along with Aichi and Katsuragi Kamui. In those days where we fought as a team competing in the regionals, little by little I got to know more about her. With great difficulties we won the Vanguard Championship. Furthermore, they helped me bring my childhood best friend back. I was grateful for them.

After spending three months without seeing her, I finally met her in the Asia Circuit held by Tatsunagi Takuto. But when I looked at her, I could tell that she was a bit upset with me joining my childhood best friend, Ren's team NAL4. When my team competed against her team, they lost. I could tell that she felt quite sad, however I saw the determination in her eyes. Seeing that I couldn't help but smile before I walked away.

I didn't know what I was feeling towards her. Whether it was 'Love' or 'Obsession' it was a really nice and warm feeling. After showing Leon the right path, we parted to our own ways.

Once again, we met at the High School Vanguard Championship. Though I didn't get to compete against her, I saw how much stronger she had gotten over the past year as she defeated Miwa. I smiled as we left the tournament since our team lost. I couldn't wait to compete against her someday. I couldn't wait to see her once more. I wanted to tell her how I feel. "Maybe tomorrow I could tell her". Thinking that a smile crept up to my lips. I could feel a tingling yet warm feeling inside my chest. But it didn't went the way I hoped it would...

Soon after witnessing the epic battle between Ren and Aichi, I felt as if I was weak. It was as if I was the only one who was weakest link on earth. Everyone grew stronger. They kept moving forward. Why was I the only one held back? I wanted more power... I wanted to reach a limit beyond human can ever reach... I wanted 'Darkness'. I sold my soul to Link Joker and became the source of all 'Darkness'. Pure as a shadow could be, I became a ... 'Monster'.


「By the time I realized.. Fate decided to play its cruel game...」


Then I met her once again after 6 months since obtaining the eternal power beyond the limits of a human. Wherever I went I saw 'Fear' in everyone's eyes. I couldn't help but smirk when I saw a mixture of fear, anger and sadness in her face. I loved the look she gave me. Whatever she did, I knew she can never defeat me. After all, I was the one who ended Tetsu, Miwa, Aichi and the Great Suzugamori Ren. I even took his Beautiful Assassin, his Queen, his Asaka away from him. I didn't just defeat them... I killed them... And I can do it once more... I licked my lips in pleasure for bloodlust. That was right I gained a monstrous power.

Knowing there's no turning back from what I did. Knowing what had happened in the past can't be changed. Knowing that she was weak. Knowing all this, I challenged her for a fight. If she lose the fight, she would be eternally mine forever. Then we can finally be together and dance in the pitch of pure darkness. We both flipped our cards to achieve what we wanted.

"Stand up, THE Vanguard!"

"Stand up, MY Vanguard!"

In the middle of the battle where everything was reaching to its climax, I was taken aback when she broke into tears. Seeing the side of her broke me inside. I made her cry. I didn't even consider what she felt and wanted things to go my way. Wanted everything for myself. I wanted power beyond the reach of any human. Out of the blue, three words came out from her lips and sealed itself to my mind like a melody. "I love you."

Surprised as I could ever be I looked at her as she sobbed. I looked at her as she broke down. I felt guilty. It was as if a whole burden of sin was cast upon me. I couldn't move. Slowly I was returning to my senses. All I wanted was to be with her. To be by her side. In order to achieve all that I turned myself into a 'Monster' and killed everyone... Killed everyone of my friends due to this inhuman 'Obsession'. And now, here I was trying to take the life out of the one whom I love.

I shook my head slowly. My body trembled as I looked at her who stood there with eyes of sorrow. My eyes widened and I quickly looked at my hand. Blood. Blood coated my hand. I turned around and saw my friends. I saw them dead. Dead bodies. I... I killed them? For some reason I felt bloodlust. By the time I looked back at her, it was too late. Her soul was erased from the face of the earth. It was gone. Gone because of me.

Unconsciously tears rolled down my eyes. Slowly I walked up to her. To the person I loved. To the person I cared. I kneed on the wet and dry ground. I called out her name. She never woke. She didn't even respond. I took her in my arms. I shook her slowly. She was gone. I tried calling her name but it was futile.


「Mother... Father... Looking at me, what do you see? Tell me... Have I crossed the line?」


Drops of rain fell from the ground. It started to rain heavily. Red blood puddles formed on the ground. I was there in the rain, breaking slowly. By the time I had come to my sense. By the time I wanted to repent for what I have done. By the time I had realized... It was already over. I wanted to go back. Back in time to repay for what I've done.

Slowly, the warmth I felt from her slowly disappeared into the coldness of the rain. I called out to her. I shouted her name. I begged her not to leave me. But the only thing she left with me was her smile. She smiled before she fell into an eternal sleep. With a small whisper she left me. When I had blinked her smile was already gone from her face. If only I wasn't stupid. If only I considered what other felt. A voice ran through my mind which I remember, I heard it when I was just a kid.

'Kai.. Remember... Always remember that Light and Dark can never be together. No matter what you do Kai, stay on the borderline. Do not ever cross it...'

I looked around. I tried calling for help. Looking around I saw Ren on the ground bleeding as he held Asaka's hand. Both of them were bathed in red blood. I stared at the horrific sight. Turning around I saw Aichi as Kourin's body was on top of him. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I closed my eyes and clutched my head. I wished that it was all just a dream. I wanted to hear Ren's bubbly voice when I wake up. I wanted to see her smile. But nothing happened. It wasn't a dream. It was 'Reality'.

In reality they were dead. Miwa is gone. I killed Ren. I murdered Asaka. Aichi is dead. 'She' is gone because of me. I couldn't help but look at my hands which were covered in blood. Tears rolled down my cheeks. Cold and wet tears. I felt myself broke inside. I destroyed everything I had. Looking down at the girl I loved who was bleeding. Cold rain kissing her.

I kneeled on the ground. I took her in my arms. Looking down at her face I felt as if a sword stabbed me. Her once Angel like smile was now gone. Her once amazing crystal blue eyes were now merely a lifeless eye of a doll. Her warm body that she once held me were now as cold as ice. I cried my heart out. There was nothing left for me after that day. I had lost everything I had and treasured in that day. That was the day that changed my life. That day that I changed.

After the day that I lost everything. After Fate ended it's game, I decided to take my place as the 'God of Darkness'. After all, I was only born for that sole purpose. Light and Dark can never get along, I knew that much. Yet 'why did I decided to get along with her? Why had I betrayed my fate when I was warned about it?' After that day, I was granted with eternal life. The life which I will get to live forever. The life which I will get to see people come and go.


『"Kai...Will you cry for me ... If this heart stopped beating?"』


A thousand years passed away since that day. The memories when we were one came flowing into my mind like a melody, as I sat there in a grassy meadow where I once ended those memories. Looking at all the graves a smile crept up to my face. Their names were carved on their graves. I sat near the grave of the person I used to 'Love'. The person who once meant everything for me. I wondered for myself for a hundredth time today. 'Can all of this be undone? Where did I go wring?' Knowing I can't find an answer to it, I looked at the carvings on her grave and smiled.

A silent yet warm breeze passed by. "I can't see you... But I know you're here, Misaki..." I smiled as I felt her warmth around me. Even though she didn't say anything I enjoyed the moment with her. Even as a mere soul I could feel her warmth as she held me closely. All the things she said were running through my head. The days I spent with her passed by like a dream.

"There he is! Get him!"

"Surrender 'God of Darkness'!"

"The 'Mighty Dragon of Kagero'! Don't move!"

Noticing all those voices I sighed. Slowly I stood up from the ground and brushed off the dirt on the clothes I wore. I couldn't help but feel sick of all the names they gave me throughout all these thousand years. Now technology doesn't exist as all of the resources were destroyed in the invasion of Link Joker. In other words, this is the era of magic. Vanguard doesn't comply in this world anymore. Vanguard invites calamity and destruction to the world. In this era, playing Vanguard itself has now become a 'Sin'.

A scythe appeared on my hand. With one swing of it the useless humans were dead. I can't remember myself as a human anymore. Even though I used to be a human, those memories of when I was a human was fading slowly. Those days when I used to be one with everyone were fading slowly as I shed many innocent blood from these very hands of mine which I used to kill all of my friends. Which I used to kill my beloved one. After all, it was already over now. The love I had for her is gone. The kindness I had for my friends vanished. Those days are already over... There's a new war between Light and Dark once again...


「So close but yet so far... We have lost who we are... We are lost inside our scars...」


I turned around to walk away but before I did, I had a hunch that I saw them with warm smiles and laughs. Calling out my name with the warmth I chose to destroy.

However, I turned around and walked away. They're not here anymore. They walk into our lives and in a blink of an eye they're gone. People come and go. People live and die. As for me, I walk alone inside this pitch of 'Darkness'. It's been long since I have lost the sight of who I am. Now I can only hear whispers in the 'Dark'. This is 'The Curse Between Light and Dark'.


「You blink an eye and then they're gone... The memories of when we were ONE...」


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-Rinny-