"Indelible"
Author: SnowboundMermaid
Rating: K
Word count: 634
Summary: A few years down the road, Barney and Robin get their stories straight while an important meeting looms. Pure fluff.
Standard disclaimers apply: I do not own HIMYM or anything vaguely related to it. This is a tribute.
"I'm going to say this is all Ted's fault." Barney straightened his tie and shifted in the orange plastic chair.
"How is this Ted's fault?"
"Whose permanent markers were involved here? And who leaves permanent markers lying out in the open where any visitors with impulse control issues can get at them? Architects, that's who. Mark my words, what lies behind that door," Barney jabbed a finger at the door next to their chairs with dramatic vehemence, "could have been completely avoided if Ted Mosby kept better track of his tools. I am deeply, deeply ashamed as well as aghast."
Robin pretended an intense interest in the contents of her purse and fought a losing battle with the flutter in her stomach. Even now, Barney's indignant-yet-misguided-man-on-a-mission routine had her wanting to pull him into the nearest closet and have her way with him. There wasn't time for that, though. Any minute now, the scariest door in the world would open and they'd have to pretend to be rational adults. "Yeah, that would work, if nobody involved had ever met you before. What's your plan B?"
"My plan B? More like our plan B. Not planning on throwing me under the bus here, are you? Because if you're running out on this meeting, I'm going with you." Barney jerked his head in the direction of the door. "That room haunts my nightmares. The artwork..." his voice trailed off into an incomprehensible shiver.
"We can't run," Robin said, even though she'd entertained that very possibility at least a dozen times on their way here. "Lily knows where we live, and she has a key. If we don't stay and face her now, she'll only let herself in while we're sleeping and take the knob off our bedroom door until she gets what she wants."
Barney's brow furrowed. "In that case, Plan B will include writing the school a big, fat check."
Robin handed him the checkbook. "We did produce the kid who used permanent markers to draw handlebar mustaches on all the faces in the US Presidents posters during naptime. Don't laugh, it's not funny." The admonition came as second nature, but she matched Barney's smile with her own. They had to admit, the kid had an amazing grasp of perspective for a five year old, and they would have gotten away with it if he hadn't signed his name. "Here," she held out a small red and white tin. "Take a breath mint. I can still smell chili dog on your breath. Did you really have to ask for double onions?"
"Can you let that go? I had a craving." Barney took the tin, then popped two mints in his mouth and closed the lid. "I cite rule 86 of the Dad Code. The modern father is both involved and evolved, sharing all aspects of parenthood. When we are pregnant, we have cravings."
Idiot, Robin thought, but she wouldn't have him any other way. "How is it, again, that this is the second pregnancy where you get cravings before I do?"
"Involved and evolved," Barney said again. "I tell you, we are going to revolutionize parenting."
Robin lay a hand over the small curve of her belly. "Why do I feel like I need to apologize to this kid already?"
"More like for her. You think our firstborn is the only Sherbatsky-Stinson spawn who will ever pull something like this? He's going to teach her everything he knows, and they both have us for parents. This school," Barney added as the door swung open and Lily waved them inside, "is doomed. What do you think, four zeroes on that check?"
"Four sounds good," Robin agreed, her gaze settling on the precisely drawn navy blue handlebar mustache perched above Lily's scowl. "And it's definitely Ted's fault."
