Are You Kidding Me? (or Active Camouflage)

"Are you kidding me, Jack?!" Ianto hated the childlike petulance that had unexpectedly crept into his voice, but he was tired, he was hungry, his feet hurt and he would swear on the filter of his brand new coffeemaker that the bags that he was carrying were getting heavier by the minute.

"Well…" Perplexed by what he was not seeing, Jack ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "I was sure… I mean…"

Spotting a bench up ahead, Ianto hefted his load and set off at a determined pace; all he could think about was sitting down, sitting down and not getting up again until Jack found their transport and came over to pick him up.

Seeing Ianto walking away, Jack felt a flurry of hope. "Did you find it?" he asked as he trotted dutifully after his husband.

"No, I did not, but I found something that will do me for now." With a deep sigh of indescribable relief, Ianto sank down on the bench, dropping the bags around his feet. He shifted over a little as Jack came to sit with him, and then leaned back and closed his eyes.

After roughly five minutes of companionable silence, Ianto lifted his head and looked at Jack with a thoughtful and curious expression. "I distinctly recall you telling me that the first rule of active camouflage is to park somewhere you'll remember." His eyes twinkled as he considered his husband. "I know we're not hiding but shouldn't the principle still apply?"

Jack was surprised to feel a hint of embarrassment as he remembered the reason why he hadn't paid any attention to the appropriate lot and row numbers in the vast parking structure: Ianto had paused at the bottom of their ship's ramp to bend over and adjust the laces on his boot. The sight of the taut fabric of his jeans straining against Ianto's pert arse had sent all the blood rushing from Jack's brain straight to his groin. 'I wouldn't have noticed a Sycorax invasion fleet parking next to us with that in front of me!'

With a tiny, satisfied smile, Ianto noticed the bright pink colouring Jack's cheeks and knew immediately that while he hadn't said anything at the time, Jack had indeed been paying attention earlier when they'd left their ship. Ianto reached out and took hold of his husband's hand. "It's okay, Jack. I know you can't resist a pretty…" his smile broadened, "…cheek, shall we say?"

End