Chapter 1

Hermione awoke with a gasp, clammy with cold sweat. Her Gryffindor bed covers were a mess, strewn out by her lashing. She sighed and put her head in her hands. She was sick of the pain and the nightmares. Hermione had even thought being back at Hogwarts would ease the damage Bellatrix had caused. Apparently she was wrong.

"Quiet. No more moping. Just go about routine as always," Hermione thought to herself. Those words had become Hermione's mantra; the only bit of motivation she had left.

After Voldemort was finally gone, the Ministry had to deal with a country in ruins. While chaos ensued, the staff of Hogwarts turned their attention to the school. In less than half a year, it was completely rebuilt. All students were given the opportunity to return to repeat their last year, since so many students either missed it completely or learned nothing under the Death Eaters. Though people were still fearful, it helped when Hermione, Harry, and Ron announced their plans to return. The example set by the Golden Trio encouraged other students around the country. Hogwarts's student body was larger than ever.

So there they were, back at Hogwarts to complete their "eighth year." After the first few days, the excited greetings and catching up had subsided. Among the trio, many of their former classmates had returned to finish their last year. Since each of the house towers had become crowded with eight years of students, the older students were given their own space in their respective dorms. The eighth year Gryffindors had their own separate common room and private dorms. Since Lavender and Parvati had opted to share theirs, Hermione took a dorm by herself. It was complete with huge bookcases, a nice study area, and a private bathroom. She decided she would definitely enjoy it.

Nearly finished with her morning routine, Hermione stopped and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was pale, eyes were bloodshot, and expression was blank. Her nightmares always left her feeling ill. She took a deep breath, and prepared herself for the day. It was time for breakfast, but she really needed to get to the library and catch up on some reading…


Down at the Great Hall, Hermione sat between Ron and Harry. Ron was eating without regard for table manners, of course, and was currently shoveling eggs into his mouth as if they would disappear in the next second. Harry sat toying with his drink, watching Hermione thoughtfully. Looking up from The Daily Prophet, Hermione finally noticed.

"What is it?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Harry hesitated, unsure of how to proceed without provoking a retort. "I just… Are you alright? You've barely touched any food, and I know you don't sleep well, ever since…" His voice trailed off.

Hermione sighed, trying to hide her weariness. In the calmest voice she could manage, she said, "Harry. I'm fine. You know I would let you know if anything was otherwise. Now, I really need to get to the library to review if I want any hope of returning to Ancient Runes."

With that, she stood up from the Gryffindor table, and walked back through the grand doors of the Great Hall. If she had turned back, she might have caught a glimpse of a certain red head watching her with worry. Unbeknownst to Hermione, her conversation with Harry had been overheard by a concerned Ginny.

Hermione rubbed her eyes, trying again to focus on the words on the page. She hadn't actually lied to Harry; she really was planning to visit the library. Hermione just had to get out of that bright, crowded hall. Deciding to abandon the studying completely, she closed the heavy book titled The Ancient Study of Magickal Runes, A Compleat History, and leaned back in the uncomfortable wooden chairs Madam Pince insisted on keeping around.

"Now, what's really bothering you?" Hermione asked herself, feeling a bit odd at the internal dialogue. "Um, let's see… Nightmares, obviously. Feeling unwell all the time. Not having motivation…" Hermione's thoughts trailed off as she became caught up in her memories.

Pain. It was the only thing left. Everything else had ceased to exist. The only thing she could feel, the only think she could think of, the only thing she could even remember: pain. Somewhere, miles away, a came a woman's voice shouting, "Crucio!"

Impossibly, the pain intensified. Hermione was barely aware of a scream coming from her own lips. It was as if she was cut off from anything outside of the pain. In her hazy thoughts, she tried to piece it together. It was Bellatrix who was cursing her, torturing her for information while Harry and Ron were in the cellar. They had to escape, they had to fight, she had to do something! The panic swelled, but then came another wave of pain, and finally nothing…

Shaking herself out of the memory, Hermione leaned on the table, trying to compose herself. She had always struggled with migraines and headaches (or just one of those, depending on which muggle doctors you listened to). She was used to pushing through pain. But then, after the day in Malfoy Manor, the nightmares started. During the war, every day was a struggle to evade capture, to find the Horcruxes, to fight for the lives of everyone in the country. She had to push through and keep fighting. Now, she was safe. But safe meant nothing to distract her from the past.


"Hermione! Hey, how were classes?"

Hearing the bright voice, Hermione forced herself to look up from the sandwich she wasn't very interested in eating. Upon seeing Ginny, Hermione started in surprise. She hadn't been expecting the younger girl.

"They were fine. And yours?"

"Eh, they weren't bad. I'd rather be out playing Quidditch, though," said Ginny, grinning at the slightly disapproving glare Hermione had just shot at her. Ginny continued, trying to hide her mixture of accusation and curiosity, "You know, I feel like we haven't talked properly since all this started. The three of you left, then the war was going on. Even after the war ended, you just disappeared right after, while Hogwarts was rebuilt, and now we've only been here a few days."

"I know. It's been a while," Hermione said, trying to put warmth in her voice while avoiding answering. She really did feel bad about not spending time with Ginny. The two had been quite close in the past, what with all the holidays at the Burrow. And after so much time with Harry and Ron, she couldn't help but wish Ginny was there as well.

"I guess we just have different lunch periods; I've got to get to class now. I'll find you later. Knowing you, I'll have to rescue you from the library soon," Ginny teased as she stood up to leave. "I'll see you later!"

As she watched Ginny make her way out of the hall, occasionally stopping for a quick greeting to her many friends, Hermione felt the corners of her lips twitch upwards into a genuine small smile.


A/N: This is my first attempt at a fanfic. If some aspects of the characters or plot are unclear, it'll take a few more chapters to get going.

Warnings: The way I'm envisioning this going, this will turn into a Hermione/Ginny relationship. I don't expect to be writing anything overly graphic, but I've rated it M for mature themes and content in future chapters. Mature themes include Hermione's struggle. It may seem angst-ridden, but that's since I really wanted to set a good foundation for her character. Don't worry, she's still the brightest witch of her age and a brainy know-it-all we love!

Disclaimer: Almost forgot. The world of Harry Potter, of course, belongs to J.K. Rowling. I think disclaimers are covered under FF's policy, but this is just to be thorough.

And finally, please leave a review. No extensive advice or critique needed, I'd just like some feedback since I've never posted before. Regardless of reviews, I have plans already to continue this.