Into the West, American Night in the ARC Canteen
by Pinkcat4569
Rating: T
Spoilers: Series 4, 5
Description: Jess' next theme night has the men excited. It's American night and they can't wait to barbecue. The women are less confident in their cooking skills.
Disclaimer: Don't own Primeval, the characters, the songs, or the dances.
Author's Note: The dinosaurs Bernie mentioned were from story "New Soldier," and they were sinovenators.
It's hard to write about your own country as if you know nothing. I'm not a barbecue fanatic, but I live in a major barbecue region. The following story is light-hearted, and as I like to say, not intended to educate or faithfully recreate. It's just a story, and as an American, if I'm not offended, hopefully no one else will be either.
5186 Words
Into the West, American Night
"Bernie and I were just discussing cuisine night," said Jess, holding a fresh cup of coffee.
Bernie Rice, the ARC's chef handed her a chocolate danish. "She wants to do America," he told the team.
"Barbecue!" cried the men.
"Real, American, over the coals, smoke in your face, flames leaping up, meat cooked hard as shoe leather barbecue!" cried Connor.
"I'm cooking," said Becker.
"Oh, no. I'm team leader, I get to barbecue," said Matt.
"I want to do it too," whined Connor.
The girls stared. "You're all crazy," said Abby.
Chef Bernie laughed. "Sorry, ladies, but there is something primal, deep in the genetic makeup of the male human that drives us to sear dead animal flesh over an open fire."
All the men grunted.
"I've grilled before," said Jess. "It's not necessarily a man thing."
"Yeah," said Abby. "Connor, what's the big deal? All we did in the Cretaceous was cook over an open fire."
"It's not the same. Nothing's trying to eat us for starters," said Connor.
"I too have cooked over fire," said Emily, "and I do not understand your excitement," she said to the men.
"Yeah, look at you all, you're like kids with a new toy," said Jess.
The men smiled.
"What would you like to cook?" asked Bernie.
"Everything, pork, chicken, beef, fish..." said Connor.
"Til it has a black, charred crust," Matt said proudly.
Becker giggled. "We need lots of wood chips, they use wood chips, don't they? Oh, and we need beer. Lots of beer."
"I think we should use a gas grill," said Matt. "They cook more evenly."
"Maybe, but we need lots of smoke. I want to do it like American tv, lots of smoke and flames," said Conno
"Yeah," agreed Becker. "Don't they slow cook stuff? Isn't that barbecue? Oh, and mothered in sauce. Served with beer. Oh, and I want to fry a turkey too."
Connor jumped up and down. "Oh my gosh, yes!" he cried excitedly, "in a great big vat of oil!"
"That's rather new," said the Chef. "It's kind of a fad in America, deep frying whole turkeys. They do lots of frying in American cuisine, especially in the South. Southern American cuisine is famous for fried chicken, sweet fruit fritters, savory vegetable fritters, greens, grits, and of course, donuts."
"I'm starting to like America," said Becker, with a grin. "We need beer."
"You said that already," said Jess, "several times, sweetie."
"I want to do this right, Jess," he said. "I need an Apron that says, "kiss the cook," a big oven mitt, sunglasses, a lawn chair, and a cooler of cold brewskies. I want to be American, at least for the evening."
Jess shook her head.
Becker smiled great big.
"Burgers and fries," said Abby. "That's what I think of when you say American food. The burgers should have the works, though, pickles, onions, ketchup and mustard, and maybe cheese and bacon."
"Bacon! OMG, Americans love bacon," said Connor. "I had this mate in college, from America, and he lived on bacon. That and root beer, peanut butter, and hot dogs."
"Gross!" cried Jess. "What is root beer, anyway?"
"I asked him once. He said it originally was made with roots of the sassafras tree. I had it once, its hard to describe. It's carbonated and sweet, but a definite acquired taste. I liked it."
"Hmm. I don't like peanut butter," said Abby. "I could eat a hot dog, though."
"We can skip any items you like," said Chef Bernie. "I thought I'd make American french fries, using fresh, real potatoes. I also thought I'd make fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, grits, collard greens, and corn fritters, all representing the American south."
"Barbecue!" cried the men.
Bernie smiled. "It might interest you to know that the regions of America all cook barbecue slightly different. We could do regional dishes, then. The southern states tend to barbecue pork..."
"Yeah!" cried Matt.
"Although Texas likes to cook beef as well, particularly brisket..."
"Alright!" cried Becker.
"Then there is Chicago, up in the north, and they like to grill hot dogs and ribs."
"Sounds good!" cried Connor.
"And then, the central and Midwest states tend to cook everything. Kansas City is pretty famous for its barbecue, with lots of thick sauce."
Becker smiled. "I'm ready."
Bernie laughed. "There is on more thing about American barbecue. Don't ever get in between states, regions, and cities when they 'discuss' it."
Abby laughed. "They tend to fight?"
Bernie nodded, "Mostly its good natured. Everyone thinks there's is the best."
"We'll just have to settle it then," said Matt, the two other men nodding.
Bernie laughed. "Indeed. I promise we shall have barbecue."
The men cheered.
Bernie smiled and said, "How about we do some beef brisket, we can serve on sandwich rolls, and some traditional ribs. We'll also do barbecue chicken, sausage, and pork dishes. In addition, we can do some non-sauce recipes, where you are pretty much grilling—that is, over high heat, quickly, and without the barbecue sauce. We can make grilled salmon, grilled hot dogs, and the classic grilled burger."
"Yay," said Abby. "Burger and fries."
"I'll makes sure to have pickles, onions, and ketchup and mustard, Miss Maitland."
"Don't forget the cheese," she said.
"Or the bacon!" cried Connor.
"Sounds delicious," said Emily.
"Sounds like a lot," said Jess.
"Bernie?" asked Becker. "Beer."
"Of course, Captain, I shall get several American beers, and perhaps find some root beer, Mr. Temple."
"Cool!" said Connor.
Jess cleared her throat.
"Yes, Miss Parker?"
"Dessert."
Bernie smiled. "Classic American Chocolate Chip Cookies, traditional apple pie, and a summer favorite, strawberry shortcake, how do those sound?"
Jess smiled. "Very good. I understand that chocolate in the states isn't the same as it is here."
Bernie laughed. "No, it tends to be less sweet. I will arrange to have several bars and some assorted chocolates for you."
"Thank you, Bernie. You're a sweetheart."
Becker laughed. "You know, when he says 'you,' he expects you to share?"
Jess narrowed her eyes at him, and then at Bernie.
"There will be plenty, Miss Parker, and I will personally see to it that you get the first bite."
She smiled pleasantly at him, and stuck her tongue out at Becker.
"So what's the entertainment for American night, Jess?" asked Abby.
"Oh, hmm. I have to think on it."
"We could have movie night," said Abby. "Hollywood is the movie capital, and it's in America."
"Boring," said Jess.
"Movie costumes?" asked Connor.
"No..."
"Sing? We can do American Idol," offered Jess.
"Didn't they steal that from us?" asked Connor.
"I do not understand any of these words," said Emily.
Becker smirked. "How about a rodeo: horses, bulls, rodeo clowns, that's a job for you Connor."
"Funny, Action Man."
Jess' eyes twinkled.
"You're joking," said Matt, looking at her. "You're not going for it, are you? We can't have a rodeo."
"No, I am afraid not," said Bernie. "No animals in the canteen.
"There were dinosaurs in here once," said Becker.
"Do not remind me of that, Captain. I did not approve of them inside the canteen, either."
Becker laughed.
Jess said, "I wasn't thinking of a rodeo, but it did give me an idea, and I promise, Bernie, no animals, not real ones, anyway. Or live ones."
"Thank you," said the Chef.
"What's your idea, Jess?" asked Becker.
"You'll have to wait and see," said Jess.
End of Chapter One
