I am at home laying in bed in my house located in Victor's Village; a sketch pad propped up on my raised thighs, illuminated by a single lap on my night stand. The image of the lavish (and malevolent) Capital coming to life, the cameras were coming soon to check on the Star-Crossed Lovers so I thought an ass kissing sketch would please the audience. 'Scoff' I role my eyes at the thought of there being Star-Crossed Lovers, Katniss and I knew we had to do everything we could to survive so us being in love was something of an exit strategy. Something that can help us survive and win, the additional bonus being we both were able to win.

Katniss was incapable of loving anyone other than her family and I'm unable to love a woman. I've been gay since... well forever, I think my abusive mother kinda made me subconsciously turned off from women and if you think about it, it's the best thing for a District 12 citizen. No children means one less contender for the games, and I know first hand how absolutely horrifying an experience that is. The fucking Hunger Games... you'd think we had learn our 'punishment' by now after the first games and the constant starvation and poverty. But anyway, that's not the problem, my damn problem is having to be completely infatuated with Katniss again. I don't know, but ever since the games I've just been so... I guess bitter would be the most accurate word. Or just easily aggravated, either way, I'm not teeming with happiness.

Katniss barely talks to me and stays constantly barricaded in her house, my mother refused to move in with me so that means my indifferent father and powerless brothers stayed with her, and to top it all off, I haven't received a full or peaceful sleep in weeks. They're constantly plagued with the visions of mutts ripping Cato into parts or the careers impaling me with various weapons or just blood curdling screams... But it's ok, Haymitch doesn't go to sleep by the time I wake up most of the time so I go over to his house. He knows the feeling of waking up in an empty house due to a nightmare and not having anyone to calm him down. And he's pretty funny when you get as drunk as he gets.

Katniss has made a point to let me know that she is displeased with my drinking and newfound cursing habit. I always tell her that I'll work on it, but I don't. I finish the basic outline of my sketch and decide to do the coloring tomorrow, those Capitol dumb asses will absolutely go ape shit for this. Anything that a victor does the fans eat it all up, and I've been shipping off some of my paintings and sketches over there to be auctioned. Not like I need the money, I have more than what to do with, and I'm the only one I'm able to spend it on. God forbid I try to purchase some damn flour for my family, mommy dearest refuses to have anything to do with me, including my money. But anyway, these Capitol retards pay a fortune for my paintings, my 'love' story and recent victory means that everyone wants a Mellark.

'Sigh' I place my sketch book on my night stand and turn the lamp off. I lay face down on my pillow, I place my arm under it and feel the sheathed knife I keep under there. I know it's stupid, but I feel safer knowing its there, it's the same way I slept during the games.

I wake up right when the sun is rising, my nightmare wasn't too bad, just the Careers and me hunting someone down, at least I wasn't the one delivering the final blow. I throw the covers off of myself and head over to the window, I love sunsets and sunups. I open the window and breathe in a breath of freezing fresh air, I say the best part of living up here is that the air seems to be unpolluted by the coal soot. I go downstairs and have a quick breakfast before I do my morning routine of showering and brushing my teeth. I get dressed for the hike I trek on every morning, I try to go as much as possible to go into the forest before the snowy season starts to hit. The forest is one of the few places where I get any real inspiration. I slip on some rugged khakis and a pair of leather boots. I place a black tee over my head and a leather jacket that matches the boots. I grab a back pack and fill it with pencils and various coloring utensils for my sketch book and pack some trail mix and jerky for the trip.

Everything I buy is all District 12 bought. Most of the other Victor's, I've heard, buys directly from the Capitol. Plus, I feel weird buying anything that isn't District 12, like I'm turning my back on them. I have a shit ton of money so feel like I should try to help out anyway I can for my destitute district, which means that I usually pay 500 to 1,000 percent above asking price whenever I purchase anything from the hob or any other establishment. Greasy Sae hates it, but I just play and she takes the money anyway.

I approach the fence and hear for any buzz of electricity, it's still mute as ever. The Peacekeepers honestly couldn't give less of a shit about what we do, I guess it's due to us knowing our places. Everyone here is just trying to live one day at a time, so we all know not to start up trouble. Well I am about to technically break out of the district, and I know these are hunting grounds for Katniss and Gale, so I guess most of us know not to cause trouble.

I tart my trek through the forest, it seems to be teeming with early morning life from all the scurrying and bustling I see. Looks like everything's getting ready for the winter. I love the forest, if it wasn't for the games I would have never gotten the balls to go past the fence and adventure around. It's like a whole other world out here, and that's why I get so inspired to draw out here. I'm not surrounded with the depressed looks of the average citizen, I don't have to look at the faces of starving children or the mothers that try to sell their bodies to the Peacekeepers. It's just pure Mother Nature out here, there aren't any games here, there aren't any signs of depression or detritus homes out here. It's just open land, as far as the eye can see.

I sit for a moment, that's another thing about becoming a Victor, I always feel wrong about having all this money and living in such an extravagant house. Because I was one of those starving children not too long ago, I know how it feels eat so little for so long without knowing where the next meal came. I remember when I would just stare at the bread downstairs waiting for it to go bad so we could take it off the shake eps and eat it. The worst part is whenever I try to help my district, I'm swiftly shut down. I tried opening up my own bakery where the bread would cost next to nothing, to the point where I would have to pay for everything with my winnings, so everyone in the district can always afford something treat. But after I filed the business license, the Capitol gave some lame ass excuse and tore up the license.

I stand up and start deeper into the woods, no use dwelling in the past. I Hike aimlessly through the forest for a couple of hours, placing a small arrow on an exposed root of tree, indicating what I should walk when I walk back. After a few more kilometers I find a clearing with a small creek, I decide this is where I'll eat and and draw for a little bit before I head back. The clearing was beautiful, the autumn leaves were scattered all around, giving the landscape a red hue, and there were still some flowered in full bloom, clearly not affected by the chilly weather. Then, out of nowhere, I hear the rustling of bushes and I jump, the tribute in me still on high alert no meter what. I hide behind a tree, knife in hand, waiting for something to show itself. I watch as when a small group of deer walked out onto the clearing.

I walk back in front of the tree to get a good look, I start drawing as fast as possible, I want to remember this. There were two does, a deer, and a small calf heading for the creek. They all bowed their heads to drink some of the water, it was somewhat heart warming seeing this. Then I heard the all too familiar wishing of an arrow, followed by e horrifying a sound a skull makes when impaled by a weapon. I close my eyes, remembering the girls face when she made a fire in the middle of he night, making her the first person I had to kill so to prove myself to the careers. I look up to see the small calf limp on the grown and the mature deers fleeing the sight. Of course something beautiful died, it's Panem.

"Damn, I should've gotten the bigger one" I look to my left to find the source of the voice. I role my eyes and groan, of all the fucking... it's Gale fucking Hawthorne, how can someone so hot be so damn insufferable is beyond me. He's another one I can't stand. Ever since I returned he's been a giant prick, he always has some back handed comment directed towards me. Like I'm the one that wanted to go to the games and win, like I'm the one that wanted to be madly in love with Katniss and made her turn into a hermit. Well, I can't help the love part... in a sense, but Gale is still an asshole. And lately he's been a lot worse and it's bringing me closer and closer to my breaking point.

I bend down and grab my sketch from where I dropped it, I have the basic outline of all the deers, so at least the image isn't ruined. I looked up at the sky, nowhere near noon yet. "We'll if it isn't the princess of District 12. What brings her royal majesty out here?" Is he serious? "Up yours Gale." His only response was a throaty laugh while taking the arrow out the calf's skull.

I pack up quickly and start to walk away, I didn't get enough sleep to deal with his shit. "Leaving so soon? Don't leave on account of my lowly status." He said while giving bow. I ignored him and started looking for the arrow I drew around here. "Oh what? Princess doesn't have anything to say, sure talked a lot when you ditched Katniss for those careers and when you killed for them.

I whipped around "Excuse me?" I started stomping towards, I'm so fucking livid, he's gone too far. "You heard me" he said with that shit eating smirk I can't stand. "I said you sure do talk a lot when you're turning your back on your own district, even when you talked about your love for her". That's it, I lunged at him and tackled him to the ground. He got a few food hits in, but lifting 100 pound flour bags for 17 years I'm bound to have some strong arms. We role around a little bit more and I end up on top of him, straddling his arms with my knees, just like how the trainers taught me. He's glaring me while I take his collar, lift him and slam his head on the ground.

"Listen! I don't know what's been up your ass since I got here, but you've been pissing me off ever since I've returned. I joined the Careers so to get them away from Katniss. Damn it Gale, you think I wanted to be with them? You think I wanted to be some murderer? I hated every moment of it, I hated myself for it!" I don't know when, but I notice there're tears sliding down my face. I swing my fist but aim for the ground next to his face "Gale, you don't know a damn thing, there is so much more going on then you realize, and I don't need you up my ass making my life more of a fucking hell than it already is."

I look at his face, a bruise forming on his chin and a busted lip. He looks shocked at my words, and all I can do is look at those misty grey eyes. I love those damn eyes, and I can see my reflection in them too they're so clear; I have small amount of blood coming out my nostril and a bruise on my cheek.

He whispers my "Peeta" but I get up and walk away. I grab my bag, I guess it fell off from the tackle, and I find the arrows I drew to guide me on my return.

A/N: I just wanted to take the time to explain some stuff. I'm tired of reading other stories about Peeta being some week damsel in distress. He's a man damn it, just because in the book he's in love and is intelligent doesn't mean he's some frail boy. Also, in this story he didn't lose his leg. Katniss still participates with Peeta and Gale but she's more concerned with staying home with her family and that obviously pisses the boys off. I'm going to try to follow the story line as much as possible some things are obviously going to have to change.

So please review, leave me comments, suggestions, concerns, or even corrections. Thanks for reading! Oh, and I'll try to update as much as possible, but school works is constantly bashing my head against a wall.