Title: Convergent
Summary: A year after Tris dies, Amar finds Tobias on the roof of the Hancock building and confesses his feelings for him. Set a year after Allegiant.
Rated: T
Pairing(s): Amar/Tobias, past Tris/Tobias
Genre(s): Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Friendship, Angst
Warning(s): mentioning of death, angst, cursing
Tobias's PoV:
It's been a year since she died. Today is the anniversary of her death. I stand on the roof of the Hancock building, looking out beyond the fence and the marsh, not daring to look down.
I thought maybe today was the day that finally, I would face my fear. I know Tris would be proud of me. But I can't do it. I'm too scared.
And then I giggle, a hysterical laugh. After all the things I've been through, this scares me? "What's so funny?" I hear from behind me.
I turn to see Amar standing in the doorway. "Just thinking about how ridiculous fears can be," I answer.
"Fear is inevitable," Amar stated. "We all have them, Four. Can I join you?"
I nod and he stands beside me by the railing. "She died today," I say.
"I know," Amar says. "I'm sorry." And he does truly look sorry, and I'm grateful. Grateful for my friend's presence, his comfort.
"Thanks."
We stand in a comfortable silence for a while before Amar speaks. "Four...I think you should know something," he says. "Tris knows and I think she would want me to tell you."
I'm really curious now. "Of course," I say.
"Four...back when I was your instructor, I um..." He falters and then his gaze drops to the ground.
"Amar. You can tell me anything. What is it?" I ask.
"I liked you, all right?" he says. "Like that, you know. I loved you. And...and I still love you."
Stunned, I grasp the railing to prevent myself from falling over. "What? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't think you returned my feelings," Amar says.
I feel guilty, because it's true. I never thought of him in that way, being with a guy that way. But, now, I wonder what it's like. I wonder if it's nice, and I find myself thinking that with Amar, it would be.
"After I told Tris, I kept meaning to tell you," Amar admits. "But when she died, I didn't want to burden you with that. And after a while, I kept trying to get up the nerve to tell you, but I just couldn't."
"Amar..." I swallow. "I'm really sorry-"
"Don't, Four." He meets my gaze, his dark eyes staring into mine. "It's okay that you don't return my feelings, I just wanted to tell y-"
I step forward and interrupt him with a kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. He moans and slides his hands down to my waist, and I think, wow that feels nice. "Four," he whispers against my mouth, and I feel my face heating up. It's the first time I've ever kissed a guy, kissed anyone but Tris. But it feels right, and I envision a life with Amar. I remember the joy I felt when I found out Amar was alive, after the shock had coursed it's way through my body. I remember the way he hugged me later that night and my heart swells with warmth.
I pull away and there are tears in his eyes. He smiles at me and I smile back, pulling him into an embrace. "I love you," he says, burying his face in my neck.
"I love you, too," I answer, and I know it's the truth. I love Amar. "You should have told me, you idiot." I smack him on the head.
He laughs into my neck and my heart flutters. "Now I wish I had," he says.
We stay like that for a long time, holding each other on top of the Hancock building.
Amar's PoV:
I can't believe I told Four.
For years, I'd kept my love for him a secret. The old feelings had come back when I was finally reunited with him at the Bureau, but he had Tris and I knew I couldn't tell him. They were good for each other and I was happy for them.
But then my feelings had gotten stronger, over the time Four and I lived in the Bureau. I ached to be close to him. I lied to Tris and told her that my feelings had gone away - no, I'm not proud of it, I liked Tris despite my feelings for her boyfriend. I lied because I didn't want to hurt their relationship. Because they were good for each other. Because I loved Four and I wanted him to be happy with his girl. That's what you do for someone you truly love - you let them go. You let them be happy.
So I did.
And now I have Four, and the guilt, the lies, the hurting was all worth it. Right now Four and I are sitting in an abandoned train, making out as the world speeds past us in a blur.
My heart's pounding quickly as Four unbuttons my shirt, our lips connected in a heated kiss. I shiver in pleasure as he runs a hand down my bare chest. He pulls back to look at me. "Beautiful," he says.
Tears fill my eyes. "I never thought I'd hear you say that," I tell him, and he kisses me reassuringly.
"I love you, Amar," he says.
"I love you, too, Four," I reply.
We kiss deeply, my arms around his neck, his hands gripping my waist. I pull him closer and am reaching for his belt when he pulls away. "Not now," he says, taking my hand in his and stroking my fingers.
I nod. "Of course," I say. "I'll wait as long as you want." I kiss him on the cheek and then on the lips, and he kisses me back, pulling me against him. I am filled with a desperate need to be close to him, have his lips on mine.
We kiss for a while longer and then he lays with his head on my shoulder, his hand resting on my stomach. He snuggles closer to me and sighs, and I chuckle. "Well, well, well, this is a Four I've never seen," I say, grinning.
He glares up at me. "You tell anyone and I'll strangle you," he says.
I laugh. "Now there's the Four I know," I say, wrapping my arms around his waist. My smile disappears. "I never wanted to leave you, you know. When I faked my death and all. I know I hurt you."
"Hey." He touches my face, his dark eyes glistening with tears. "We're together now. That's all that matters."
He kisses me as the sun sets outside, and I think of how lucky I am to have him, to be able to love him like I have always wanted to.
AN: Please review and NO FLAMES but constructive criticism is appreciated. Sorry of either Tobias or Amar were OOC, I felt like they were. Will be updated soon
