Title: Lost in the Static
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Summary: SPOILERS FOR 6x08. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this in person, but in case you didn't already know, Red John is dead." Written for Lothiriel84.
Dear Madeleine,
I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this in person, but in case you didn't already know, Red John is dead. If you've heard, then you know exactly why I couldn't say goodbye or tell you in person. If you haven't heard and you're still in hiding, then I should tell you that I finally killed Red John and the FBI is after me.
You'll get this letter once I'm outside the country, so I hope Lisbon already knows I'm on the run. FBI Lackey Dennis Abbott probably has her phone sealed in evidence somewhere, but she'll eventually put two-and-two together as she's smart like that. With the CBI gone, Bertram dead and a network of psychotic cops on the rise, I know I won't be able to return to California anytime soon. It's why I've taken to writing you this letter—it's a goodbye, of sorts.
My apologizes won't make up for lost time, Madeleine. It's why I'm not even going to bother with the words "I'm sorry", beyond the first line of this letter. You've lost so much time, due to my need for revenge against Red John; yet, you never walked away when Lisbon or I needed your assistance. I just wanted to say thank you for everything you've ever done for any of us. You've saved my behind twice now; once in the cellar with Rachel and the second time with Kirkland. You've also saved Lisbon's behind (or ass, as she would say) twice also, the cellar with Rachel (of course) and the second time, by shooting O'Laughlin dead. If it hadn't been for you, we both might be six feet under today and Red John would still be killing women.
I don't know if you knew Sheriff Thomas McAllister, but he turned out to be Red John. I'm a little hazy on the details, but in this case, they don't even matter; McAllister was (and always will be) a monster. He prayed on the weak psyches of men and women, and in doing so, they eventually found him to be a "friend". Dumar Hardy, Rebecca Anderson, Craig O'Laughlin, Timothy Carter, Lorelei Martins, etc…all made the same mistakes of needing someone or something to help them through life. McAlister eventually betrayed them and it led to their deaths. I killed two of them and you killed one of them. McAllister killed more than three of them; and now, he's gone. Nobody will kill in his name again and I am finally free.
It's a different feeling. I don't really know how to describe it, but I still don't feel 100% better. I killed a man; I watched the life leave him and I feel no regret at doing so. McAllister was a cruel man, who killed others to make his own self look better. I just feel regret for leaving Lisbon, as she'll be left behind to clean up this mess that I made again. I don't know if she'll want to hear from me, especially after all that I've done; but I know I've got to try. She is my best friend, after all.
Take care of yourself and your children okay? I don't want to hear about anymore car crashes, just to avoid letters from me. ;)
Love,
Patrick
