HEY GUYS! So, per the title, this is a male version of Mean Girl's. However, this is about guys so the plotline has different details which aren't included in the movie. So read on, folks!
It was a cold morning in September. Most people think it's a normal school day, but it wasn't today. My day was certainly different from others and my parents were freaking out.
"This is your lunch, OK?"
My Mum was going super crazy.
"Now, I put a dollar in there so you can buy mil. You can ask one of the big kids where to do that."
Dad was equally as crazy as Mum.
"Remember your phone number. I wrote it down just in case."
My dad handed me a piece of paper.
"Put it in your pocket don't lose it."
"IT'S RYDER'S BIG DAY!"
They were treating me as if I had never been to school before. Which I have been but now I'm going to my first private school that is not out in the middle of nowhere. See, I come from Arizona and I'm glad I left...
Flashback
In July, I was out in my rural town in Arizona. Nothing much. I went to school and lived with my parents. I had a girlfriend, Marley Rose. She was so hot, but what I heard one day changed me forever...
"Ryder, I cheated on you," she told me frankly at her house.
I was stunned. What?
"With who?" I asked.
"Some guy who came here on a holiday," Marley said.
"I'M GONNA KILL THAT BASTARD!" I shouted.
"Too late," Marley said, "He's already left."
I sat down and a sad look appeared on my face. Why did she do that? I never thought she would cheat on me. I like her so much.
"Ryder," Marley said as she took my hand, "I don't think we should be together any more."
"But I thought you loved me," I said.
"Well, if I loved you I wouldn't have cheated on you," Marley said.
That was true. Maybe we were too different, or too the same.
"I think it will be best," Marley said, "Because we can't keep this relationship distant because I'm moving away tomorrow."
"You are?" I asked.
"Yeah," Marley said, "Goodbye Ryder."
She got up and left. If I were in my musical world, I would get up and start singing ...Baby One More Time... but Mum and Dad walked in the second after Marley left.
"Honey," Mum said, "We have an announcement..."
"Yes...we're leaving to Maine to start a new life..." Dad said.
"Good," I said and ran into my room. I was glad we were leaving...I wanted to get all of this misery behind me...
My parents drove me to school. I got out of the car. As my parents waved goodbye, I walked across the street. And with that, I walked into my first private school. It was so crazy I had no idea what I was getting myself into. There were kids burning books, kids making out and others just staring at me as if I was an alien.
I walked into my classroom and looked for a place to sit. I approached the seat behind an extremely overweight guy but then two students looked at me and said "Ah, ah." The two were a boy and a girl or a boy, I don't really know. He had dark hair with a blonde streak and a vain look on his face, kinda like an emo. This girl looked as if she was actually a boy but because she acted so tranny I didn't really know...
"He farts a lot."
Ok, new seat then some random guy took it right before I got there. I backed out and turned around, unknowingly hitting someone square in the chest. He spilled his coffee on his sweater and dropped his doughnuts all over the floor.
"Oh, God, I am so sorry," I apologized.
"It's not you. I'm bad luck," the teacher said.
He started to take his coffee drenched sweater off. His shirt was sticking to his sweater when he tried to pull it over his head. That's when the councillor walked in.
"Mr Schuester?" she said.
"My t-shirt is stuck to my sweater, isn't it?" he said while trying to take it off.
"Yeah."
"Great."
He pulled down his shirt and took off his sweater.
"Is everything all right here," Ms Pillsbury said, eyeing the mess on the floor.
"Oh yeah," he said quickly.
"So...how was your summer?" Ms Pillsbury asked.
"My wife had a miscarriage and we divorced," Mr Schuester said, not sounded so sad. Awkward silence dawned on the class.
"I got OCD, guess I win," Emma said.
"Yeah, yeah you do," Will said.
She suddenly remembered what she came in here for. It was obviously about me.
"Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a new student joining us. He moved here all the way from Arizona."
Mr Schuester turned to a tall, muscular guy who had an orange-tanned skin and was wearing revealing clothing.
"Welcome," Mr Schuester said warmly.
"I've been going here for three years," the boy replied.
Caught off guard, Mr Schuester gave him a thumbs up and said "Great!"
"His name is Ridder, Ridder Line. Where are you Ridder Line?" announced Ms Pillsbury.
I put up my hand and said "That's me. And it's pronounced RIDE-ER LINN!"
"My apologises," she said, "I have a newphew Anfernee and I know he gets mad when I call Anthony. Almost as mad as I get at the fact that my sister called him Anfernee," she ranted.
"Well, welcome," Mr Schuester said, "And thank you Ms Pillsbury."
"Thanks," she said, "And if you ever need something or wanna talk to someone..." She began moving in and talking to him in a hushed tone.
"Well thank you," he said, "But maybe when my shirt isn't see through."
"Okay, good day everybody," she concluded.
The rest of the day was a blur. A stressful, surreal blur. I got in trouble for the most random things. In my 3rd class, I got up cause I needed to go to the toilet.
"Where are you going?" the teacher asked.
"Oh, I have to go to the bathroom," I replied.
"You'll need a lavatory pass."
"Ok, can I please have a lavatory pass?"
"Nice try. Have a seat."
I never lived in a world where adults didn't trust me, where they were yelling at me. All it was was something like:
"Don't read ahead!"
"No green pen!
"No food in class!"
'Bleiben Sie inIhrem Sitzplatz!"
Finally...LUNCH! When I was getting lunch, I overheard some girls talking about something like this:
"I told you I saw everything!"
"Everything?"
"Did you see a ball?"
"It only counts if you see the balls!"
"That's true, girl."
Not having lunch with them. I walked around the cafeteria and everyone made sure that there was no seat for me so I ended up eating lunch by myself in the fucking toilets! I had friends in Arizona. I even had a girlfriend. Just not here. Well that was such a shit first day!
I got home with teary eyes and my Mum had the guts to talk to me. I didn't want to talk to anyone, not after that lame-ass day.
"Hey, how was your first day?"
I looked at her and then went up to my room, not in the mood to talk.
