smile

A/n:

I cried while writing this you'll see why soon. This is written in the pov of Melissa, Sammy and Casey's ten year old daughter.

. . .

Uncle Billy! He's here! I'm so glad it's Thanksgiving break! I love uncle Billy so much! He's not my real uncle, but his like a brother to dad. He always makes dad cheerful and daddy is hardly ever full of cheer. After mommy left three years ago... he just got so cold. I wish I could make him smile, I would do anything to make dad smile. My straight A's and tennis trophys make him smile, but his eyes never shine like they used to and he seems so empty. I know he's proud though, I know he loves me. I can feel it when he tucks me in, so warm and caring. He used to say I'm just like mom. I think that's why he can't bare to see me, because I remind him of her. I ask uncle how to make him smile every year and Uncle always gives me a hug and says " Melissa, I have spent years mastering this not practiced enough but here's this years tip:." ,and then he would tell me to dye my hair black or quit soft ball for tennis or to change up my room or learn how to sew. We both know that's these are all things my mom hates. We both know the strategy here is that if I'm not such photo copy of mom maybe dad will forget.

"Pizza time!" He shouts, as dad and I race to the door. He holds up the box of heavenly pizza. I'm trying so hard not to drool right now. You wouldn't even know. It's always gone so fast too. Such shame.

"Dang it. I wish there was more pizza. Those five slices went down in a few minute tops!". I lean back and frown at my empty plate." Next time I should bring ten more boxes. You guys are even bigger pigs than last year! " Uncle Billy laughed as he picked the his plate. He is reading my mind. I am a pig and he totally, I mean TOTALLY, should bring more pizza. I swear he's the coolest man alive. " Maybe one whole pizza for you, Casey. God you eat like there's gonna be no tomorrow. Then again," He smirks."I'm here so there really might be no tomorrow. Don't be surprised if there's a poisonous spider your bed or something." Dad grins.

A real grin too. His grins are the second ( after his rare smiles) most beautiful things in the word. His eyes look like melted chocolate as they shine. His teeth are white and perfect. And he just looks so alive. He looks like he loves the world again. I wish I could make daddy love the world again. I want daddy to be happy. I want to see his smile ...so... bad.

To me, the most important thing in the world is to get dad to smile. I want him to show me he loves me, not just say it. Deep down I know he would do anything for me. But I wish he would show it more. He seems so afraid to love me. He's afraid I'll run away like mom did. I can tell by the way he hugs me when I have bad dreams. He holds on to me like he might never see me again. I want to tell him that's it's silly. That I will always love him and that I will never leave. I'm not my mother. Or my grandmother. They've hurt too many people. I never want to hurt anyone. I can't tell daddy that though, because he will think of mom. And seeing just one tear roll down his cheek is like watching a puppy die. It's so heartbreaking. You can see all those years of pain and loss flood back into his broken heart. I can't bare watch that again. I saw him cry for days the week mom left. All she left was a note. That's all it took for dad to just shut down.

Empty or not I know I can help daddy. Sometimes it feels like that's my only purpose in life. My dad is a very special person. No one ever turns him down or breaks a promise to him. He used to have so much emotion that he would pour into everything he did. The way he cooked looked like he might actually be a pro chef like on the TV. So much gusto and pride. Even the way he pulled out his credit card just screamed, " I can do anything and everything." I've never seen anyone else do anything like he did. But he's so scared now. Scared that everything might break him. Scared that if he invests to much in something it will just back fire. Dads just a regular old person when he goes outside the house. And empty drone that just does what it needs to. You know, the most horrible thing about this ... is that he's just a regular old person now, bit not only to everyone else. He's become a regular old person when he's around me.

A/N:

Enjoy.

Always,

Anne