The work below is not fully mine. Certainly not any dialog line, none. Credits go to writer Russell T. Davies, actors David Tennant and Bernard Cribbins, director Euros Lyn and the BBC crew et al. All of them cannot be praised enough for the excellence that "The End of Time" and that chamber scene was. I simply literally wrote down what I saw and felt from the Doctor's point of view, all amazingly there on screen.

English is my second language and I've had no beta reader. I hope I've done well.


Destiny fulfilled

The blinding white light fades, the shaking of the ground stops. I'm disoriented, lying on my back. I don't understand.

A gasp leaves my lips. I slowly turn to my right, the hard floor, the shattered glass and the absence of danger setting on my senses.

Hold on there. Wasn't I supposed to be dead? Wasn't I waiting death? Where is it?

Nowhere. I'm alive. Alive! I still feel, see, hear and sense the world around me. Life!

"I'm alive..." I say it aloud, to hear the words, to confirm my own voice.

"I've..."

I've survived? I've survived the Time Lords? Rassilon? The Master?

I push myself slowly into a sitting position. I feel the shattered glass under my palm and elbow, they hurt, but I don't pay attention. My mind is spinning.

"I've.."

I've come out of this alive?! The return of the Time Lords?! Gallifrey?! The Master?!

The whole of creation had been about to be destroyed, I was going to fall with it. But I found a way to stop it, I broke the link, time-locked everyone and everything once more. But the wrath of Rassilon, his power, the Gauntlet. He was ready to kill me. And I knew I would die, I had known it for so long. I was ready.


{{ "You die with me, Doctor!"

"I know." }}

I had calmly embraced my end. Rassilon had raised his Gauntlet. I had taken one last look at my mother, silently telling her goodbye, and watched her hide her tear streaked face from me. Rassilon had taken aim.

But then ... the Master's voice from behind me. My own words back at me.

{{ "Get out of the way."}}

I had turned in full surprise. What? What?! The Master had such a determined look on his face that I ducked instinctively. What?!

He used his energy blasts against Rassilon. Took his revenge against his life long manipulation.

{{ "You did this to me! All of my life! YOU MADE ME!..." }}

I'd stumbled back.


{{ "One!... Two!.... Three!... Fooooooooour......" }}

The light filled the room, the shaking increased. I was knocked down.

And now... here I am! Still alive!

"I'm still alive!..."

I feel like laughing and crying and laughing and crying. I gasp, I sob in utter elation! I can't believe my luck. But here I am. I'm alive! I've made it! I can't believe it, but I've made it!

knock knock knock knock.

The sound freezes me. My jaw drops. All my blood rushes to my hearts. Four knocks? What?... Was that four knocks?...

knock knock knock knock.


{{ "Your song is ending, sir..... It is returning, it is returning through the dark. And then... oh but then.... He will knock four times." }}

Four knocks. Those are four knocks. The prophecy. The signal of my death.

knock knock knock knock

I slowly sit up and turn towards the sound not facing it. I know who is knocking. I remember what is to my left. Who is there. Where he is. I can now hear the world around me too. The buzz of the chamber. What that chamber is. What it means.

Pain cuts through my soul.

knock knock knock knock

I finally take the courage to face him.

Ironically, he even knocked in four sets of four. Wilfred. My friend, Wilf. Innocently tapping on the glass door to get my attention.
He waves at me. I can see he's anxious. He's afraid. He just wants my help.

"They gone then? Yeah, good-o. If you could just let me out," Wilf sheepishly asks. Because he can't get out unless someone pushes the control from the adjacent booth.

Sweet, loving Wilf. He does not even realize it. He's just knocked four times, but he doesn't realize it. He knows about the prophecy, I've told him, but he just... knocked as far as he's concerned. The bad guys where gone, he just wanted out. Two times, three, four, it's just a gesture. Oh, Wilf...

"Yeah..." Yeah, let you out I can.

"I mean, this thing seems to be making a bit of a noise."

Innocent, unaware Wilf.

By now my mind has fully registered what is happening, the noise, what is wrong.

"The Master..." I stand up and start to explain, trying to maintain a casual tone, "left the nuclear bolt running. It's gone into overload."

"And that's bad, is it?" comes Wilf's question.

Well…

"No... 'cause all the excess radiation gets vented inside there. Vinvocci glass. Contains it. All 500,000 rads, about to flood that thing."

Just stating the facts like simple things. I'm good at stating facts. Facts are good. And simple things.

"Oh..." Wilf is now even more afraid, but chuckles his fear. "Well, you'd better let me out, then," he gently says, but I can see his tension and impatience.

If only it were that simple… Here I go.

"Except it's gone critical. Touch one control and it floods."

My hand automatically goes to my breast pocket, where my trusty sonic screwdriver rests. But even before I pry it out, I know it's a useless old gesture. The system is so sensitive that even the sonic won't help.

"Even this would set it off," I finish and twirl the useless tool in my fingers nervously. My mind already knows the single way out for Wilf. And what it means for me.

For one to be let out of the one booth, one has to go into the other. And the moment one gets in, the radiation will flood his booth. The Vinvocci glass will keep the radiation from leaking outside, but the man inside will be, well, inside. And will get the full force of the exposure.

Sweet Wilf. Sweet, sweet Wilf. I see that he understands. And he knows what will happen. I know he does. He knows me. And I think that now he just remembered the prophecy.

"I'm sorry", he tells me.

He means it. I know he does. This was supposed to be a happy end, the bad guys defeated, good guys winning. But because of him and a stupid chamber, there is not going to be a happy end. It's ironic. And the irony fells heavy on me.

"Sure." I can't help the bitter, almost cynical whispered response. I see my destiny approaching. I lower my eyes.

500,000 rads are not terribly bad. I can take them. But I can't take them forever. There's no way of knowing how long I will be exposed to them.


{{ "I can still die. If I'm killed before regeneration, then I'm dead."}}

"Look, just leave me," Wilf offers. He means it.

I raise my eyes at that and him. We both know I won't leave him. But I'd be lying if I said that that doesn't actually cross my mind for a second. Leaving him. I look at the old man and I can't help a bitter smile.

"OK, right then, I will," I let out a humorous indulgence.

But then I can't help it any more. Despair fills me. I turn around and step away. I let go.

"Cause you had to go in there, didn't you?" I say my real thoughts out aloud. "You had to go and get stuck, oh, yes…" I say bitterly.

You could have stayed in the ship, Wilfred! The Vinvocci, your Cactuses, would have left you somewhere safe. Away from here and safe. But no, you had to come back, to open that door and let the technician out, trapping yourself inside.

And sealing my fate...

I've wondered who you are.


{{ "Who are you?"

"I'm Wilfred Mott."
"No, people have waited hundreds of years to find me and then you manage it in a few hours."
"Well, I'm just lucky, I s'pose."
"No, we keep on meeting, Wilf. Over and over again. Like something's still connecting us."
"What's so important about me?"
"Exactly. Why you?" }}

Now I know.

"Cause that's who you are, Wilfred… You were always this... Waiting for me all this time..."

The harbinger of my fate.

"Oh, really, just leave me. I'm an old man, Doctor. I've had my time." Wilfred insists. And again, he means it. He's not afraid to die.

Something inside me snaps. His words are true. Anger and frustration fills me.

"Well, exactly, look at you!" I glare at him. A simple, single human, an old man.

"Not remotely important!" One of the little people. Done his little bit. Grand scheme of things not the slightest bothered without him.

"But me..." me the last Time Lord, me as I am now. "I could do so much more... SO MUCH MORE," I bang my fists to my chest, railing at the skies.

"But this is what I get. My reward."

I lean for support on a table. For saving the universe and all life once more, I get THIS reward. Never in my life had I ever asked to be thanked, never basked in praise, never sought glory. Never asked anything back in return.

"And IT'S NOT FAIR!" I finally cry out, lashing out and sweeping away whatever happened to lie on that table.

I take deep breaths. I feel heavy. I turn to look at Wilf.

And... shame fills me.


{{ "You don't want to listen to an old man's tales."

"I'm older than you."
"Get away."
"I'm nine hundred and six.
"What, really, though?"
"Yeah."
"900 years... We must look like insects to you."
"I think you look like giants." }}

Look at the giant now. Helpless, trapped, depending on my action to live or die.


{{ "Little people? What, like Mia and Yuri? "Who decides they're so unimportant? You?"

"For a long time now, I thought I was just a survivor, but I'm not. I'm the winner. The Time Lord Victorious."
"And there's no-one to stop you?"
"No."
"This is wrong, Doctor. I don't care who you are. The Time Lord Victorious is wrong." }}

Adelaide was so right then. And now, here is Wilfred, my friend, my companion. An innocent man trapped in the machinations of people beyond him.

How many people have died to save me? Dare I think and count?


{{ "It's not like I'm an innocent. I've taken lives. I got worse - I got clever. Manipulated people into taking their own. Sometimes I think a Time Lord lives too long."}}

There was never a choice. I knew it the moment I heard the four knocks and realized my fate. I just allowed myself to yell against the dying of the light. After all, I am a living being. My instinct is to delay, if not avoid, pain and death.

I sigh once... twice...

{{ "Sometimes I think a Time Lord lives too long." }} I remember, my own words not long ago.

"Lived too long," I repeat aloud and start to slowly walk towards the double chambers. My legs are heavy, but I do not falter.

"No...no, no, please, please don't. No, don't. Don't... Please don't! Please!" Brave, sweet brave Wilfred yells at me.


{{ "Please don't die... You're the most wonderful man and I don't want you to die!" }}

"Wilfred...it's my honour." And yes... it is.

To die for a friend is an honour.

We take a moment, two old men looking at each other. No other words. Honour among friends. Love between brothers.

I've wasted enough time. The moment has come.

"Better be quick." Quick to get in so as not to juggle the system and let radiation out. But also quick before I lose my resolve at the very last millisecond. After all, I am a living being.

I open the door, get inside, "three, two, one," I hit the button.

Agony hits every cell in my body. Excruciating fire. I lose every sense of the world around me, engulfed in the red hot pain. I feel myself collapsing on my knees and wonder how long it will last, if I'll be able to survive it. I know that this regeneration is doomed, but is my life as well? For a moment, I see Wilfred looking at me with horror through the glass door. The pain becomes too much. I gasp, groan and completely collapse.

Suddenly... silence. And the fire dies out. There's still pain, but not burning hot. I realize that I'm lying curled in fetal position on the floor, having instinctively covered myself as if my arms and legs could have kept the radiation away. I slowly uncurl myself and sit up, taking a blurry look around me.
Wilf's face comes into focus.

"Hello!" he says, cheerfully, but uncertain.

"Hi..." I respond, still reeling, dazed.

"Still with us?"

Wilf's question makes me wonder as well. I stand up and check around me.

"The system's dead... I absorbed it all... Whole thing's... kaput." That's good. Very so.

I hesitantly try the door. It moves. "Oh. Now it opens, yeah," I mutter. Another irony. I step outside.

"There we are then. Safe and sound." Wilf sounds so relieved. He's still shocked, I can tell, but relieved nonetheless. "Mind you, you're in hell of a state. You've got some battle scars there," he adds, pointing to my wounded face.

I let out a groan and rub my hurting face with my equally hurting hands. Hell, my whole body hurts. I take a deep breath. Somehow it makes me feel a bit better.

"But they've... Your face! How did you do that?" I hear Wilf's surprised voice.

I don't understand what he means for a moment. I look at him quizzically and do a mental check on myself. Realizing that my face does hurt less, I take a look at my hands. No wounds there anymore either.

This means only one thing...

"It's started..."

Wilf gasps as he understands what I mean. The change of my body has started. My cells are already regenerating.

He steps towards me and embraces me. He puts all his thanks and guilt and sympathy in that hug. I'm grateful and I accept it. I just cannot return it.

I am dying.

I thought I had beaten the prophecy and escaped my fate. But no one ever escapes destiny, do they? We only fulfill it...


End


-- I have to applaud David Tennant's stellar performance in this scene! He literally conveyed every thought and emotion! For me, it's one of the best things I've ever seen, if not the single most powerful thing!