Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, Remus and Tonks would have been having tea in the last chapter. I'm very bitter over this.
Summary: It is in a quieter, darker world that they fall in love. [Astoria/Draco. 7th Year.]
Time of Whispers
Kissing Draco isn't like anything else Astoria has ever known. It's like being pressed down by something heavy while at the same time being lifted up; it's desperate, but careful. Kissing him, his fingers will seek out hers and the contact trembles with fear and anger and he'll whisper into her hair, "I want out," but she doesn't think he had ever really wanted in.
The corridors and passageways and corners of Hogwarts that had once seemed welcoming and warm and curious have been replaced by fear and darkness and the school she once loved as a sanctuary has become a nightmare that neither she nor Draco can escape. The holidays that would offer Astoria a respite are instead laced with anxiety at the unknown as Draco returns to the Malfoy Manor alone and at the mercy of the Dark Lord. When she sees him again after the holidays have ended, she is torn with near-giddy relief and with frantic worry over his exhausted, worn appearance.
"Just come home with me," she begs/suggests when they find a quiet corner to talk in, but he bows his head, touches her hand and simply murmurs, "I can't. I'm sorry." And Draco Malfoy is not one to apologize.
She thinks that, had things been different, they might have never seen each other the way they do now and that's the cruelest irony she's ever known because in the quiet moments they so scarcely find together, he'll wish none of this had ever happened and she only wants to make that wish come true. But had this never happened, had the once bright, beautiful castle of Hogwarts never darkened with evil, Draco would have never fallen, would have never needed saving, and Astoria never would have seen him stumble and never would have wanted to be the one standing next to him.
He shows her the entrance to the Slytherin common room, something not even her own sister had done, and whispers to her the password. "You can come here whenever you want," he tells her and she wonders what it is he fears she might need to hide from. The next day, she shows him the Ravenclaw entrance and when she pulls him down to whisper the password to him, she knows exactly what he might need to hide from, even if he does not.
They rarely let themselves be seen together, a precaution against something neither wish to contemplate. Daphne will watch them, sometimes, the glances they will spare each other and the brief, hidden touches, and her expression will always be a mixture of protectiveness, understanding, and hope. Blaise will occasionally see them together and knowing glances are shared between the two Slytherins, yet Astoria has never heard Blaise breathe a word of their pairing.
Mostly, they'll meet in the library and Draco will allow himself to seem half as tired as he must feel and he'll just barely hold her hand and whisper words of redeeming his family in the eyes of the Dark Lord. Their conversations, promises, always seem to be whispered to one another and Astoria fears that their relationship will only survive in this quieter world and should the Dark Lord ever be defeated and the volume return to normal, their whispers will be drowned out as will their moments of quiet, their entire relationship. Draco will whisper that he'll find a way to regain the Dark Lord's respect and Astoria is torn between hoping he will never have to and hoping he really will.
"Someday," she whispers to him, "we'll get away from all this. We won't have to answer to anyone, just us." And Draco looks at her with a pale face lined by war and she can't tell the fear from the hope in his eyes.
"Someday," he echoes quietly, neither agreeing nor skeptical. "Someday."
And so they'll pass in the hallway, exchanging glances, brushing their hands together and whispering new passwords to one another.
Someday.
Draco shows Astoria his Dark Mark with uncertainty. Before this year, Astoria has never known any Death Eaters, had never seen the skull-and-snake tattoo against a pale arm. She covers it with her hand and Draco jumps slightly at her cool touch against the oddly warm Mark. She rises to her toes, just a few inches too short, and their kiss is like being pressed down whilst simultaneously being lifted up and Astoria keeps her hand over the Mark as he carefully, cautiously pulls her close. It's desperate but fearful and it's the loveliest kiss Astoria had ever experienced.
Someday.
.end.
It's been a while since I've posted to FFnet; hope this isn't too shabby. Just wanted to explore the romance between Astoria and Draco. I wrote Astoria as a Ravenclaw just because she seems that way.
Feedback would make me the happiest little girl ever.
