To Almedha, my dearest sister:

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF MEN IN GOLDOA SMARTER, KINDER, AND MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN ASHNARD! I THOUGHT YOU HAD STANDARDS, YOU CUM-GUZZZLING WHORE!

I GOT YOUR LAST LETTER ABOUT HOW HE KILLED HIS FATHER AND A TON OF HIS PEOPLE WITH A BLOOD PACT. DO YOU REALLY STILL THINK HE'S SANE?? MASS MURDER ISN'T ROMANTIC, YOU DITZ!

WHEN I FIND YOUR SLUT ASS, FATHER'S WRATH WILL BE THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES! I AM GOING TO MARCH INTO DAEIN, BEAT YOU SENSELESS, AND DRAG YOU BACK TO GOLDOA BY YOUR HAIR! AFTER FATHER DEALS WITH YOU, I'M SHOVING MY HAND UP YOUR VAGINA AND RIPPING THAT HUMAN DEVILSPAWN OUT, ALONG WITH YOUR UTERUS SO YOU CAN NEVER HUMILIATE OUR COUNTRY LIKE THIS AGAIN!

HONESTLY, DID YOU EVEN STOP TO THINK ABOUT THE KIND OF EXAMPLE YOU'RE SETTING FOR KURTH?? YOU KNOW HOW IMPRESSIONABLE HE IS! HE'S ONLY EIGHTY! HE ALWAYS LOOKED UP TO YOU, AND SOMEDAY, HE MIGHT RUN OFF TO DAEIN WITH A PSYCHOTIC BRANDED SUE WHORE AND KILL FATHER AFTER INADVERTANTLY FREEING THE DARK GOD FROM LEHRAN'S MEDALLION!

ALSO, YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONE WITH A DRAGONSTONE, YOU KNOW! YOU'RE ONLY EMBARASSING OUR FAMILY FURTHER BY BITCHING INTO IT ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE! EVERYONE IN GOLDOA HEARD ABOUT THE TIME WITH THE BOAT, THE CHAINS AND THE AVACADO!! I HAVE NEVER SEEN FATHER MORE HUMILIATED!! AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, KURTH HAS STARTED ASKING SOME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE QUESTIONS INVOLVING WHAT 'WHEELBARROW STYLE' IS, AND HOW IT RELATES TO BEING 'HUNG LIKE A HORSE'!

ONLY ONE GOOD THING HAS COME OUT OF THIS MESS: I GET TO SPEND SOME TIME AWAY FROM THAT OBSESSIVE FIANCEE OF MINE! WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN, COUNT YOUR LUCKY STARS THAT IT'S ONLY ME AND NOT FATHER!!

Hoping you are well,
Yours most sincerely,
Rajaion