Fragile Threads
He was my everything.
But I had to let him go.
Not because I wanted to, but because it was the right thing to do.
And it hurt.
Hurt like hell.
It isn't supposed to be like this.
We were supposed to be happy. We were destined to be happy. Together.
I felt it the first time we bumped into each other in that club. We locked eyes, and as I gaze into those beautiful orbs I stumbled into the depths of his soul. There and there I knew we were meant to be together, that he was the one designed to be with me for all time.
It was no coincidence that he found me during the hour of my greatest need. It was no accident that I was able to project to him emotions that I normally couldn't make whenever I'm in a state of panic. It was no mere chance that when I returned in that club the next night, he recognized me instantly and shared his gift with me. Then and there we both knew that we were special – special not only because we possess gifts that ordinary people do not have, but special because we were able to look into each other's souls with just one glance.
A mere mortal shouldn't meddle with Fate. No. Fate should be allowed to weave her threads, join two persons who are meant to stay together until the end of time. We mortals should not mess up the pattern that Fate designed for us. We should simply allow her to run her course, and follow her as she guides us to the person whom we belong to even before we were even born.
But some people are courageous enough to defy Fate. No, courage is not the term. Courage is supposed to be a virtue. No, not courage. Cunning. Yes, that's it. Cunning people who would defy everything, because they thought it would be a pretty little adventure they could engage in.
She was my best friend. She was dearer to me than a sister. I confided with her almost everything, shared my most innermost fears, allowed her to see my inner demons that had haunted me for as long as I could remember.
And I loved her.
And I'm sure she loved me. And would try to do everything to keep me from getting hurt.
But she still hurt me. And she didn't even know that she did.
It seemed like an innocent attraction – a bat of an eyelash, a gentle caress of a hand, a meaningful smile. I saw it all – the way she looked at him and tilted her head whenever he says something. The way she smiled every time he enters the room or cracks a joke. The glint in her eyes whenever he smiles at her.
And then I knew that she wanted him.
I saw Fate protesting, trying to pull back her threads and set the pattern back to its original design. But my friend was stronger than Fate herself, and would not easily give up something she set her eyes on. And I slowly felt him slip away.
And then he came – his best friend. Oh yes, we've been friends ever since I joined the team. He had been there for me, understanding and loving me despite my weaknesses and secrets. He understood how I felt, for he in turn had lost the one person he truly cared for.
Her.
He loved her with his life, and it pained him to see her slowly slip away, the same way it hurt me to watch my soul mate pull away from me.
From the sidelines we watched how our beloved friends fell for each other, slowly allowing us to fade in the background, oblivious to the fact that we are dying inside, slowly breaking, crumbling, crying.
And then I slowly felt him falling for me. Having lost someone so dear to him, it was just understandable that he would look for someone else to shower his unrequited love on. And who else was there? I had been with him when she wasn't, and he was there for me.
And slowly, I fell for him as well. And finally, I felt that I could let the other one go.
But it still hurt to the very end. Finally accepting that he forgot about our connection, that he no longer considered our bond as important as the attraction between him and her.
It almost killed me.
But I had to let him go. Even if it hurt. Because it was the right thing to do. It was for the best.
Although for the past few weeks I could feel that he was trying to get back, crawling his way back into my heart, to the special place I have reserved only for him. I saw it in the way he looked at me whenever I talk to his best friend, the way he smiled when I direct my attention to him, like I used to. It was as if he finally gotten over his little infatuation for my best friend, and was trying to return to the person he was destined to be.
But it was my turn to defy Fate.
I already have Jesse. And I could never hurt him. Not after everything he had done for me. Not after sacrificing everything just to be with me – even Shalimar. And although Jesse could never fully occupy the place I have set for him in my heart, I could never let him go. I've already risked too much, altered the design Fate made, and I could never go back.
And I felt Fate cried a tear, the same time I saw one roll down from his cheek the time I told him that I cannot take him back.
And deep inside, I cried as well.
And because people no longer allow Fate to freely run her course, I, Emma Delauro, lost him.
The one guy I've truly loved. The one I would give up everything for.
My soul mate.
Brennan Mulwray.
