Disclaimer: Greetings, kind reader, and please do put away your pointy object. Do sit down and let me explain myself before you decapitate me in the messiest way possible. I'm quite sure I have a basic idea of what you're thinking. "Rivendell, a shopping mall? What is this chick on?" Let me assure you I am on nothing other than a great deal of ginger tea and that I did not come up with the idea that Rivendell could be a mall on my own. I had help from a Mary-Sue writing Legolas-lusting fangirl for that (no offense to Suvian Legolusters meant). Despite her hormonal fangirl tendencies, she is a rather dear friend of mine and therefore I shall not speak her name. This particular Sue-writing Legoluster seemed at one time to be suffering under the delusion that Rivendell is something of a shopping mall, and that one can throw parties and buy swimsuits there. I, naturally, found the idea utterly laughable and briefly pushed it into the back of my mind until one fateful day when I mentioned my friend and her delusions at the PPC message board. A regular there suggested that the idea would make an interesting fanfic, and I agreed. Ever since then, the idea has been festering and growing in a corner of my mind until it came out in this format. I hope you find this less blasphemous than a great deal of my other work, and I hope even more that you may find it amusing. At the very least, I had fun writing it.
That said, nothing pertaining to Lord of the Rings belongs to me. Not even the idea of Rivendell the Shopping Mall belongs to me. The former belongs to Professor Tolkien, the latter a Suvian fangirl.
Thank you for your time. Now onward to blasphemy!
-Andy
The Mall of Arda
By Andtauriel Longwood Baggins
Chapter 1: An Unfamiliar Imladris
I am Legolas, son of Thranduil, High King of Mirkwood Forest, Sylvan elf, and Prince of the Woodland Realm.
At that particular moment, I was also very confused.
Although the building in front of which I stood bore a vague resemblance to Imladris, I was certain that the House of Elrond had not looked this way the last time I paid it a visit. I could not identify the smooth, stony substance which the columns of the Last Homely House were constructed, nor could I make sense of the curious runes that were painted above the large, glass doors that apparently formed the new way of entry into Lord Elrond's home. I peered cautiously through the glass, and was intrigued to see a long, wide hall decorated with various forms of plant life growing in small stone pots and many, many more doors and windows. Unless I had somehow gotten lost and ended up in someplace entirely different than where I intended to be, Rivendell had changed a lot.
Through the glass, I caught sight of an elf exiting one of the many inner doors and walking down the hall into a new door. I heaved a short sigh and placed my hand on the cold metal handle of the glass door. Most likely I wouldn't learn anything new standing outside, at least, not any more quickly than I could have learned it by going in. I pushed open the door and entered.
-
That said, nothing pertaining to Lord of the Rings belongs to me. Not even the idea of Rivendell the Shopping Mall belongs to me. The former belongs to Professor Tolkien, the latter a Suvian fangirl.
Thank you for your time. Now onward to blasphemy!
-Andy
The Mall of Arda
By Andtauriel Longwood Baggins
Chapter 1: An Unfamiliar Imladris
I am Legolas, son of Thranduil, High King of Mirkwood Forest, Sylvan elf, and Prince of the Woodland Realm.
At that particular moment, I was also very confused.
Although the building in front of which I stood bore a vague resemblance to Imladris, I was certain that the House of Elrond had not looked this way the last time I paid it a visit. I could not identify the smooth, stony substance which the columns of the Last Homely House were constructed, nor could I make sense of the curious runes that were painted above the large, glass doors that apparently formed the new way of entry into Lord Elrond's home. I peered cautiously through the glass, and was intrigued to see a long, wide hall decorated with various forms of plant life growing in small stone pots and many, many more doors and windows. Unless I had somehow gotten lost and ended up in someplace entirely different than where I intended to be, Rivendell had changed a lot.
Through the glass, I caught sight of an elf exiting one of the many inner doors and walking down the hall into a new door. I heaved a short sigh and placed my hand on the cold metal handle of the glass door. Most likely I wouldn't learn anything new standing outside, at least, not any more quickly than I could have learned it by going in. I pushed open the door and entered.
-
