This is dedicated to Amaruk Wolfheart's bro who is having his wisdom teeth pulled after Thanksgiving…poor chap.
Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans out there! Since I'm currently on holiday I have more time to get some fanfics out of my system. This is my reaction piece to the last season finale. I always felt like the poor Doctor, Doctor, had been left out in the cold. (Yes, I did squeal when the kiss happened between Rose and human Doctor. Who did not?) [Sorry I could not contain myself *rolls eyes* Doctor Who] Anyway I could feel his hearts breaking as she was making out with other him. So this fic came about. I will warn you it does get a bit creepy, not slasher creepy, but… well you will see.
Does it Need Saying?
Four words. Four little words from my own blasted mouth broke me. Back in the safe confining TARDIS I covered my eyes with my hand, as much in a need to shade my sight as to stop it from moving of its own accord toward the door. To open it undoubtedly and do what I really wanted to do. Why had I done this…?
Because it needed to be done. It was better for both of us. My scarred old hearts could not bear to see time take my Rose for its prisoner. It would kill me I was sure of that. Even as the twin organs buried beneath my breast bone pounded their rage demanding the release of all that I held in, pain exploded spreading through my limbs…
It would eventually diminish. This was the other truth I was sure of. Though Rose would say I was only deluding myself. My lips quirked at the image of her…
Rose Tyler, such a strong cheeky girl, never staying where she was put…
Where's the fun in that?
Her voice floated through my mind unbidden and I felt as if she was there in front of me. I reached out to only feel air but there was something different…
It was not like I had left her completely there by herself. Rose would always have a part of me with her. I could sense him just traces of feeling and thought. He was in absolute bliss, calmness…
The warmth of her hand against his, the heat that shot through his body when she smiles at him, the feel of the sea breeze on his cheek, the way her lips touch mine with such passion while seeking my eyes as if she could read the inner sanctum of my soul….
Quickly I ripped my hand away from my eyes to see …nothing. Breathe quickening; I carefully touched my lips they were still humming with the memory of the kiss. It had felt like she was here. If only for a second…
What's wrong?
Rose's simulacrum was in my mind's eye head cocked slightly to the side. Her brow creased as just a few strands of hair concealed her face. I had always itched to tuck them back in place only to have an excuse to touch her….
My Doctor, always thinking.
Her deep laugh echoed around me as she reached forward to caress my cheek. I leaned into her hand unable to stop myself, even if this was simply a figment. It was surprisingly solid as it continued its ministrations…
I had thought I was the only one who had left apart of me behind, but perhaps I had underestimated my companion. She had always been stubborn…
And proud of it.
Not one to be left behind?
Not when there's an adventure with you waiting. Where will it be first?
Let's see…
"Doctor?"
It is not Rose's voice that called out this time, but Donna. Ahh that had reminded me I needed to handle this first, before any other voyage. At the rate her mind was deteriorating it was only a matter of time…
What's happening to her?
Oh, it's a simple mind meld really, kind of like you with the TARDIS, only she got Timelord.
So what are we going to do about that?
Rose was standing beside me as we both observed Donna. I'll have to erase all her memories…
"Doctor are you alright?"
I was jolted from my private conversation by Donna's grip on my arm. Realizing I had been talking to a phantom for the last few minutes.
"Of course."
I turned away from the red head in front of me closing my eyes again. Am I really? I know I am not insane things would be much worse if that was the case. What was causing this vision to come on?
Possibilities raced through my mind, some from this reincarnation others from before. Rose did not have the technology to create a hologram. But then a hologram had no substance like she did. There had to be some explanation. Rose could accomplish so much with her stubbornness, but not this….
Love.
What?
(She was back again gazing up at me like I was her whole universe. Her eyes were reflective mirrors, capturing me securely within their depths.)
I love you. Love changes the rules.
But what about him?
(It was rather silly of me to be jealous of myself, but then again I was my foxy self, damn my foxiness.)
Part of me is with him and a part of me is with you. You don't think you are the only one who can come up with brilliant plans?
But that…
(She silenced me placing a lone finger against my lips.)
It's not impossible, there has always been apart of me with you. If you hadn't been so daft you would have seen that. You did take part of the wolf into you and the wolf was me. Come on Doctor you can figure it out in that odd head of yours.
(Removing her finger, she stood on her toes ruffling my hair.)
Everything is about connections. You cemented the bond when you gave me part of you. Though this is a bit weird being two people isn't it?
Yes it can be a bit disconcerting. Two pieces of the whole which can operate as separate entities yet have the same thought patterns and personalities…
Exactly.
(Rose was giving me that smile again melting my insides.)
Well who's the smart cookie now?
(I smirked down at her still a little doubtful that this was happening. I had never tried initiating the conversation maybe she was the one that had too….)
…Rose?
Yes
There is something I want to tell you….
(I trailed off. It was too hard to utter those three words. Much harder than those four that I had said on the beach.)
It doesn't need saying, Doctor.
(Turning my words on me, how like her. Something happened though with the utterance of that statement. I felt a weight lifting, just one from the billions, but it was enough.)
"I love you."
The low whisper slipped past my lips. Abruptly they were busy with another pursuit entirely as Rose captured them, molding hers to mine. To say I was enthusiastic in my response would be a gross understatement.
My arms reached to grip Rose's hair as I changed the angle of the kiss. I jerked her body to mine, nothing but pure possession hands wandering, stroking up and down her spine. Her arms encircled my neck, pulling herself up, trying to get closer. My tongue darted in as a moan escaped her. I felt my own growl in response… then it ended.
"DOCTOR!" Donna was shaking my shoulders from behind me. "There is DEFINITELY something wrong with you! You just growled! And you've been muttering things! Yes nothing is ever normal with you, but this is very different from your regular peculiar behavior."
"Everything's fine now." Shockingly this was true.
A hand gripped mine as I smirked widely at Donna. My mood was vastly different for what it had been previously, but that was just how I was constantly shifting like the wind.
"Absolutely." I squeezed her hand.
Absolutely. She squeezed back.
There you have it. No, the Doctor is not insane. (Though he can be straddling the border on that sometime…) I kind of view it as part of her "heart/soul" thingy is with him. And once you get past the fact that to everyone else he appears to be talking to himself it is actually kind of sweet… Well I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews would be nifty so I can know what all of you out there in cyberspace are thinking.
Thanks again!
-Daine
