I take a deep breath and look nervously outside the Z-Store. This won't be easy. These people have been my best friends for three years and I'm saying goodbye today. I'm not going to cry. I've already promised myself that.
Somehow, this all feels wrong. Somehow this isn't right...but I can't quite put my finger on it.
I figure it's now or never, so with all my emotional strength I carry my luggage out the door. Chyna, Angus, Lexi, and Mr. Grundy are right outside the door. Chyna looks at me strangely as I walk in front of her with my suitcase.
"Well, bye," I say.
"What?" Asks Chyna, confused.
"I'm moving to New York." I answer simply.
"You took the fellowship?" Asks Chyna after a moment.
I set down my luggage in response and give a slight nod.
"So...you're really not coming back to the A.N.T. Farm with us?" Asks Chyna sadly.
"Look, it's an incredible opportunity," I say, forcing my lips to form words. "And even my parents said I should go. I'm going to be living in Brooklyn with my Grandma Dottie."
Chyna smiles and nods.
Then Angus steps closer from behind me. "Fletcher," he says, "not only are you my best friend, but I've loved being roommates with you this year."
That just about does it. I force a sad smile even though I feel like I'm about to cry.
"And if you ever decide that New York isn't for you," he continues, "our room will always be there." Then he hugs me.
"Of course your bed will be gone and replaced with a soft pretzel machine," Angus states.
"I know," I say. "You did that two months ago."
Angus shrugs. Then I turn to Chyna, who looks like she has something to say. Before she can, however, Lexi cuts her off.
"Fletcher," says Lexi. I turn around to face her. "You and I never got to know each other really well back at school. Thank you for that."
"You're welcome?" I lean in for a hug, but Lexi stops me.
"Whoa," she says, putting her arms in front of her to prevent me from traveling any farther. "I barely know you."
I shrug it off as Lexi walks inside the Z-Store. Then I turn to Chyna again. This is going to be the hardest.
She smiles and I walk over to her with my lips pressed together.
"Fletcher," she says. "From the day you showed up at my house in a top hat and monocle, I knew I wanted you to be my friend forever."
There's a pause where I feel like I may cry again.
"I can't believe we're saying goodbye," she says finally.
"I don't care where I am," I say, "you're always going to be a part of my life."
She smiles and looks at the ground.
"I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for you," I continue.
"What do you mean?" Chyna asks, an expression of genuine confusion on her face.
"When you first arrived at the A.N.T. Farm, I was this scared little kid. And you were so...so confident and fearless. You made me not be afraid." I say. "And, now I'm moving to New York! By myself! I really don't know how I'm going to do it without you." I mean every word I say.
Chyna smiles and chuckles sadly. She sniffles and then leans in for a hug. I accept it, and rest my face into her shoulder. She smells like peppermint. A tear falls on her jean jacket. Then she pulls away.
"Oh, don't worry," says Chyna, wiping away tears of her own. "You'll find another girl to obsess over for years and then completely forget about so you can date her best friend."
I wipe one of her tears off of her face. "You know, I never thought Olive and I would get together, but once we did, I've never felt anything so real." My heart feels heavy as I talk about Olive. "I guess I was the only one who felt that way."
I'll always love Olive. I don't care if she loves me back or not. I don't care how far or close she is to me. I love her. And I never won't. If only it would have worked out. If only...
My thoughts are interuppted by a violent sobbing coming from behind Chyna.
"I think that garbage can is crying," Mr. Grundy points out. "I really should have given myself a lunch break today."
Chyna lifts the top of the garbage can and Olive pops up. Olive snorts, running snot all the way up her arm.
"Olive? What are you doing in here?" Asks Chyna.
"Just...making sure Fletcher really leaves because I hate him so much," she says, sobbing.
"Wait." I walk toward the garbage can. "Did you break up with me just so I wouldn't miss this opportunity?"
"Maybe," Olive says, tears still streaming down her rosy cheeks.
"Thank you, Olive. I love you, too." I bend down and awkwardly try to hug the garbage can.
A car horn interrupts our hug, and I stand up. Grandma Dottie gets out of her car and waves at me. I wave back.
"Whoa. Grandma Dottie is Grandma Hottie," says Angus.
"She's actually my step-grandmother." I explain. "My grandpa Zeke was loaded."
"So she's a widow who likes wealthy men?" Asks Mr. Grundy. "Maybe I'll move to New York." He starts toward Grandma Dottie but she waves him away.
"Nah," he says. "I'd miss you guys too much."
I turn and hug Olive (who has climbed out of the trash can) and Chyna.
Then Grandma Dottie gestures for me to get in the car.
"Well. I'll miss you a lot. I promise to text you guys," I say, letting go of the hug. I wipe a tear from my cheek as I walk toward the car.
"Fletcher, wait." Olive says from behind me. I turn to face her. "Are you sure about this?" She asks.
"It's a dream come true, but if it hurts you too much, I'll stay." I say after a moment.
"You'd give up your dream for me?" She asks. "That's so sweet."
She grabs my hand and pulls me close. "But this is a huge opportunity. And I'd be a terrible person if I tried to take it away from you."
I smile. "Thank you," is all I can say.
I hug her again, and then start to leave. My hand is still in her grasp, however, so she pulls me back and kisses me. Her lips taste like strawberries and her hair, which is swept in my face, smells like coconut.
It's a while before we separate.
"I love you," she whispers. "Always have, always will."
"I love you, too," I say. "I'll never forget you, Olive Daphne Doyle, as long as I live."
I'm finally able to load my luggage into Grandma Dottie's car and Olive, Chyna, Angus, and Mr. Grundy wave at the car until we turn the corner and are out of sight.
I can't stop thinking about the kiss. It was sweet. It was long. It was...perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better moment. It was our first real kiss.
My biggest fear, however, is that it was also our last.
