-1What The BLEEP?!

I don't know!

(AN- I was bored and had to get it out of my system. Yes, totally random. I know. This is a garbage piece of writing, but.. Truthfully, I need more stories. XD I don't care if you don't like it, I don't either, but no nasty reviews please. And thanks. .)

"What the hell, Bella? Are you insane?!" Edward nodded towards my tray of pancakes covered with applesauce, sprinkles, hot caramel, and sugar cubes.

I nodded, thoughtfully, "Maybe. But I like to pretend I'm normal."

"Oh, well, I can see that's working out very well.." Edward replied sarcastically while turning on the how to channel. Today's topic was How To Dazzle. I puffed out a silly laugh.

"Yes, well, it is working out well! Here, if you don't believe me.." I opened the drawer of my desk pulling out a frazzled piece of paper. I flicked it open. The worn out, stained paper revealed a table. A schedule to be exact. "See.. Feed Jake some kibbles from 3-4, donate blood to the newborns from 6-8.. Dinner with Charlie, 8:15 to.. 9, and 9:01 and on, you, my vampire boyfriend sneaking through my window to sleep with me. Totally normal."

Edward rolled his eyes and patted my head playfully. "Do you want an icebreaker?"

"WHAT WHY?! Do I smell to you?"

"You smell great, it's just, you need to wear a scarf, it's cold outside."

"We're going outside?"

"No, we're going swimming in the clouds."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Edward nodded enthusiastically. He grabbed my hand and pulled my lips toward his. We kissed passionately. After three hours of kissing, he released his hold. I fell back onto my bed, exasperated.

"Want to go bowling with Mike?" I asked Edward.

"Uh.. Sure, but I thought we were going kitty cat catching.." Edward sighed.

"Well, we can do that too, and have the kitties bowl with us."

"Okay.. Lets get Raptor first, then the dogs." Edward giggled at his funny and I high-fived him. Deal.

After picking up mike, he allowed us to go on his back. It would be easier to catch the fly-cats this way. He transformed into his dragon self and flew over the verticalzion. Yeah.. By the by, Mike is a dragon. I meant to tell you that before, but I forgot.

"Totally normal." Eddie-pop whispered velvet lace into my ear.

"Ouch! That hurts!" I tugged the lace out of my ear violently. A wad of gum came out with it. "Jeez, how long has that been in there?!" I questioned as I popped the gum into my mouth.

"That gum sure smells good.. Like gasoline in the morning.." Edward said seductively.

I leaned closer to his face, revealing a piece of the yellow-brown gum. "Want to share?"

"Gladly." Edward placed his mouth over the gum that was sticking out. Apparently, that wasn't enough. He stuck his tongue into my mouth to get the rest of the gum. For the next half hour we were fighting back and forth, mouth to mouth, over the gum.

"Gross, guys." Mike roared.

We ignored him. Mike isn't important anyways. Edward, my love is all that mattered right now.. And chocolate chip muffins.. But seriously, not Mike. Suddenly, Mike jerked sideways and threw us off his back. We fell into the rice pudding with a gracefull, THUD! CRASH! BOOM! CREAK! OW! COO! FOO! SCHMOO! HOMO! COW! Yes. I'mot lying, it's amazing how gracefull we were.

After I got out of the car, I ran around to Edward whom was eating the mice pudding. "This actually isn't that bad.." He licked the pudding off my chest.

I pushed him away. I tryed to look happy, but then unicorns fell from the sky, so I was inturupted by madness. And now depression. It hurts. But not as much as this chili. Whoo. Never eat chili before flying on a dragonfly. NEVER! I'll never be able to drink Red Bull the same again..