Disclaimer – I do not own Robin, Batman, Spoiler or any other character that may appear in this fic

Disclaimer – I do not own Robin, Batman, Spoiler or any other character that may appear in this fic.  They all belong to DC Comics.

Author's Note – My first fanfic, so be gentle.  I just felt like I had to write something after the whole Batman giving away Robin's identity thing.  Kind of angsty I guess, but I have plans for it to get happier.  However those plans will not involve Spoiler.  I mean, I like the girl and all, but what she did to Tim was just plain wrong.  Especially after everything he's done for her.

The rage is pretty much all gone now.  I don't feel angry anymore.  Instead it feels like there's this big hole in my chest where my heart used to be.  I spent so long in doing all of this.  In believing in Batman.  In believing in Bruce Wayne.  In trying to keep the symbol, the legend alive.  I knew that this was what I wanted all along.  I wanted to be Robin.  I wanted to be beside him.  I wanted to fight with him, through thick and through thin, no matter what came along.

           

            I just never thought something like this would happen.  I mean, at exactly what point can you decide that it's okay to give away someone's secret.  I spent so long hiding this from everyone.  I lied to my Dad, I lied to my friends, and I lied to Ariana…  I did it all in compliance with his wishes.  I protected the secret at all costs.  My Dad's practically disowned me right now because I protected that secret.  I lost all my friends when I was sent away to Brentwood because I protected that secret.  Most of all…I lost Ariana because I protected that secret.

            I figured it was all okay though, no big deal.  I mean, I'm not too sure how things are going to work out with my Dad, but I've made some new friends here at Brentwood.  I also got Steph, who I have to admit, is great…was great.  Things started off just fine there too.  To top it all off, she said the secret wasn't a big deal.  She said it didn't bother her.  Yeah, right.  The first thing she did was get jealous over Star.  Can I help it if I didn't want to see another teen die right there in my arms?  I flash all the names through my mind.  All the people that I've lost in my tenure as Robin.  Clyde Rawlins, Karl Ranck, Young-El, Tommy Meyers.  I just couldn't stand to lose another one, and especially not someone who was actually a true friend of mine.  But does Steph understand that?  No, of course not.  Instead she goes off the deep end and doesn't even talk to me about anything.  There are times in my life when I wouldn't take anything to give up the Robin outfit…but there are also times when I would almost give anything to be rid of it.

            So all that leads my back to the present.  To me coming back to my dorm room one day to find the bat signal taped to my window.  All I could think about was how much I needed this tonight.  After everything that had been going on, I needed to spend some time with Bruce.  I needed his guidance and advice on how to handle how crazy the dual identity thing was getting to be.

            Instead, my world came crashing down around me.  I still can't describe exactly what went through me at that moment when I found Steph standing on the roof.  Shock most certainly.  I didn't know what to do, how to react.  Then she said my name.  I don't know why, but that just set everything off in my mind.  To hear her call me Tim, it was like a bomb had detonated inside of my brain.  I had to get away.  I had to escape.  My carefully constructed realities were colliding and all I could do was get the heck out of dodge.  I ran, as fast and as far as I could.  I would have kept running to Hawaii if a dark shadow hadn't crossed my path.  Before I knew it I was staring into the eyes of the only true father I had ever really had.  I mean, I love my Dad and all, but he's gone so much.  After taking up the mantle of Robin, I always felt that Bruce was as much my father as my own Dad was.  But now he stands before me, telling me that it was his choice, that he brought Steph in on everything.  That he gave up MY secret.  Then Steph says something about how we can be together now.  That was the last straw.  I saw red as I whirled on her.  I couldn't believe that she could have the raw nerve to invade my life like that.  I though I meant something to her, I though she cared about me.  She knew how important the identity was for me, and she destroyed it in the worst possible way.  Much less, she enjoyed it.  She thought it was just a big game, and that she had finally won the prize.  She knew my identity, the grand prize of them all.  I lashed out at her, and then turned my attentions to my true betrayer.  Standing there in all his self-righteous glory, telling me that he had made the decision to ruin my life.  I couldn't talk to me.  I didn't want to talk to him.  I yelled something at him and then just walked away.  Truth be told, I felt at that moment that I could just walk away from it all.  I could walk away from Batman, from Robin, from Steph, heck from life itself, and never come back.

            Which is where I now find myself.  Somehow, someway I managed to make it to Happy Harbor.  I don't know why, I guess I just needed somewhere to go.  It had to be somewhere out of Gotham.  I just couldn't stand being in that city a second longer.  I wasn't feeling the anger anymore.  I was just feeling hurt, and betrayed.  It seemed like everyone I had cared about had turned against me, or at least the two most important people in my life had.  I didn't want to think anymore.  I was so tired.  I just wanted to quit it all.  Slowly, exhaustion overcame me and I sank my head down onto the conference table.  My mind finally shut down as the darkness of sleep overcame me.