I just want to say that I should not be allowed to listen to music... But I have been allowed once more, and this angsty one-shot decided to make its way into creation!

Inspired by Damien Jurado's Sheets. Check it out, it's a beautiful yet sad song.

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"Was it worth it?"

A vicious whisper was what started it all.

"Depends on what you define as 'worth it', woman."

A grumbled and tired reply was what sent her into a fit of rage.

"Sleeping with your whore. Was it worth anything it has given you? Are you happy with what you have earned? What you have accomplished?"

She wasn't screaming. She was much too angry to do so. The very thought of Shikaku with that boy in their bed, giving away a love that was only supposed to be hers enraged her. But the fact that he had done it over and over again for so long... There were no words to truly describe how truly angry she was.

"All I have earned, Yoshino, has been small bouts of happiness in an otherwise sour and joyless life." His voice was gruff and humorless, yet honest. "And, please, don't insult him. He has nothing to do with-"

"Don't try and give me any of that bullshit, Shikaku! All our problems started when you began to sleep with him! On our bed! How could you?! Our bed!"

"Where would you have preferred for us to lie?" Dark eyes narrowed almost viciously, momentarily reminding Yoshino of the whore Shikaku had chosen to lie with. "In hotel rooms? Much like you chose to do?"

Shikaku had always been able to keep a rather good lid over his emotions, even when pissed off beyond belief. Which was the reason why his voice didn't rise a single octave, remaining level even as he accused her.

"How did you-" One step back, then two. But Shikaku interrupted before she could even finish her question, scathing words piercing her and freezing her in her place.

"Woman, did you think I was blind?" Instead of standing up, the proud male remained seated on his favorite recliner, eyes closing in irritation as a heavy frown pulled at his lips. "All those nights you left our home under thinly veiled lies... All those times you came back smiling, even though you never truly went to those places Shikamaru could hear about... Did you think me so ignorant and content to believe I would actually trust in your dishonest words?"

"You... You knew?"

All anger left her at that moment. Yoshino had not felt this small in so long... Ever since before she had met Shikaku. She had forced herself to grow strong to become a ninja... But now she felt even smaller than ever... All because of her mistakes.

"When did you think my own moments of weakness began?" Thin lips loosened to release a hollow chuckle, a cold sound that chilled both participants of this accusatory and vengeful dance. "When I found out that my own wife- whom I have known since before I even became a genin- was cheating on me with nameless strangers from other villages, I was heart broken..." Then those dark orbs that had once held nothing but love for her shone with an adoration that was no longer directed at her. Adoration that made her hatred for the whore deepen even further. "And there he was... Accompanying Shikamaru back home after a joint mission... And I succumbed."

He spoke about that teenager as if he were some kind of god. Some kind of great deity that could only bring good into a dark world. And the fact that this had once been the way he had seen her... It was a slap back to reality of the worst kind to her.

She had allowed that love to slip through her fingers because she had been young and desperate to get away from a boring husband and irritating child. And then she had continued to leave her home because she had wanted some kind of adventure. And those passionate nights with those younger men- whom weren't ever as young as Shikaku's whore- helped to momentarily fill a hole in her life that always reappeared whenever she went back to her slacker family that refused to satisfy her unless she was screaming and flying off the handle.

Neither of them were saints. They were both guilty of the same sin. And for some sick and perverted reason neither could understand, they each wanted to see the other burn for what they had done.

She had thought herself despicable for what she periodically did... But she had known she was better morally speaking because she never brought her lies into Konoha. Shikaku, though, brought his lies and passions into their home without a single hesitation.

She was better. But just marginally.

"But... If you knew..."

The question lingered in the air, caught in her throat. But they both knew what she was asking.

Why did you stay?

"Because I loved you."

Regretful silence pierced their conversation, twisted it, made it into something uncomfortable and grotesque, and thickened the air until it felt like Yoshino was about to strangle. Then, "Loved?"

Her husband had always had a penchant for dark chuckles. In their younger years, she had found the rumbling enticing and flared her love for him. Now, though, it was hollow and distant. It made her feel hollow and distant. Made her soul chill yet burn in an oxymoronic torture that left her wishing to never have succumbed to her boredom.

"Yes. As in the past, Yoshino... I have found someone new..."

"You'll never be able to go public! It would be a scandal." Yoshino hissed out hurriedly, voice not above a whisper as her eyes glared daggers. "You'd be stripped of your rank for coercion! you'll sully the Nara na-"

"I never said I would openly love him, now did I?" The man crossed his muscular arms over his broad chest; arms and chest over which she had lovingly raked her hands over years ago; then breathed out. "I'll do it privately. In the shadows... Like I have done until now."

"What of our marriage?" There was no more fight left in her.

Her husband was gay. He enjoyed spending his time with someone half his age; a friend of their son. And he would continue to meet up with him inside of the comfort of their home, defiling what once was her matrimonial bed.

"Will we remain-?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Her anger and hatred simmered minutely, only hanging on to the fire that had spurred her into beginning the conversation. Now, though, that blazing inferno was more like used charcoal, edging its way into completely losing its heat. "Why would you choose to stay even though we're both cheaters?"

His right eye opened lazily, raked over her body with scorn and distaste, then he shrugged. "Because what else are we to do? Divorce? It would still be a scandal. And I would just be forced to remarry as a clan head."

Yoshino frowned. Shikaku closed his eye once more. Both found their hate for the other grow.

"At least with you as my wife, I can continue to lay with him. And you can continue to go off on your adventures whenever you wish: Shikamaru's off on his own missions most of the time and I don't give a damn anymore. It's a win/win situation."

"You're disgusting."

"And you drove me to this."

The dark haired woman glowered as she crossed her own arms over her chest. "He's just a kid."

"And he's old enough to know what love is, rather what fairy tales told him it would be."

The jab to her heart made Yoshino feel like she was being stabbed with a rusty knife. But she gained a sick satisfaction in knowing that Shikaku would be just as miserable as her for the rest of his life. Even more miserable, even.

"Your passion left you, Shikaku." She accused, then huffed and turned her face to look away from him and towards their modestly furnished home.

She had always wanted more furniture and decorations. Shikaku had always wanted sparse and simple decorations.

They had been having small problems like these from the very beginning of their relationship.

"At about the same time it left you, Yoshino." He shrugged, then pushed up from his favorite chair and stood up. "Although, if you were to ask the lover you insist on calling a whore, he'd tell you there's more passion in me than you'd have ever thought... You were just too preoccupied with your own wants and selfish desires to try and figure out how to bring them out."

"Don't pin this all on me, Shikaku!" She had always hated his martyr complex. "Where do you get off on calling me selfish? It takes two to tango, you bastard. And you were much too lazy to even try and win me back!"

She knew she struck a chord when his steps faltered.

But in the end, Shikaku just walked away from her and went back to his whore.

And Yoshino put in a request for a mission as far away from Konoha and as long as possible.

..~..~..

Hope you liked this! Please review and tell me what you think! Make my day and get this sad college student to smile.