I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh GX or it's characters.
After finishing I Wonder I decided I needed something else to work on and this just came to me. There are plenty of stories about Chazz, but what about Jagger? Someone should tell his story too.
Summary: It's not always a good idea to face your demons, sometimes they can come back to haunt you.
Warnings: Abuse, child abuse, mentioned rape (of a minor), mentioned incest.
This story is in Jagger Princeton's point of view.
Chapter One
For the first time in my life I am voluntarily going to my father's room. I'm not going because I'm being forced, or because I need to protect Slade and Chazz. I'm not even sure why I am going actually. Because I need to prove that I can I suppose. I need to prove to myself that he really is gone. I'm going in because something is tormenting me and it's gonna rip me apart from the inside out if I let it. I'm going because the nightmares have started again. I hadn't had them in years but now I have them every time I fall asleep. But they're not my imagination, they actually happened to me.
I stand outside the door that hasn't been opened since the day our father left. My god, I'm shaking so badly and I didn't notice it until now. My mouth is dry and I lick my lips nervously. I just stand there, staring at the door. More than once I reach out to touch it but draw my hand back. Now I know why I waited until Chazz and Slade are out of the house; the last thing I need is them thinking I've gone mad. But, maybe I have? With a deep shuddering breath, I close my eyes and let the dream replay.
I'm a little kid again, lying in bed wide awake and terrified. It's one of the earliest memories I have of this happening, but I know it wasn't the first time. I know that, because I'm already waiting for it, dreading it. I can hear footsteps outside on the landing getting closer and closer I want to run, but it's as though I'm frozen in place. The footsteps stop suddenly, right outside the room. A shadow covers the crack of light at the bottom of the door. The handle turns...
I open my eyes, back in the present. I want to run now almost as badly as I did back then. It's just a door, you idiot. Open it....open it. Before I can talk myself out of it, I reach forwards and grab the door handle. In the same movement I twist the handle and open the door wide.
Nothing happens. I stand there for a long, long, silent moment. I think I feel something, like a breath on the back of my neck. I turn...but there's no one there. Of course there isn't. What was I expecting? My father to be waiting in his bedroom? My heart is racing, but I laugh at myself to try and make it a joke. I walk forwards, over the threshold.
It's like I've taken a step back in time. Nothing's changed since I was last here. Same carpet, same curtains...same feeling of hopelessness washes over me. I can't bring myself to close the door completely, but I do push it to. Slowly, I turn, taking in everything. It's almost as though my father never left. The smell of his aftershave wafts towards me, even though I know that's impossible.
The shelves have a thick coating of dust but one of them still wobbles when I touch it. It's loose from when he flung me against the wall and I hit my head. The bed makes me feel ill. I bet if I pulled back the top sheet, my bloodstains would still be on the mattress. One of the cupboard doors is open enough to get my fingers into the gap.
I don't want to, but I do anyway.
There's one of my father's coats still hanging inside. It's the only item there, on a single hanger, but it makes everything suddenly terrible and real. My throat constricts. It's like my eyes are burning. A hand brushes my shoulder, I'm sure I feel it this time. I turn. I scream. And for the first time since I was a very, very little kid, I actually fainted.
End Chapter
I must thank the lovely Claire for being my beta on this story
