/
underlined is Bucky
italics is Tony
/
Am I doing this right?
...Doing what right?
Texting. It's so foreign
Oh. Well congratulations you're a texting tourist!
Thanks? Is this even Steve?
Nope. Sorry to disappoint.
Oh... that's alright. Apparently it's not just texting I'm foreign at but phone numbers too.
Wait so you've never touched a phone until recently?
No
Holy shit you poor soul how have you coped in life?
A true mystery
It is! Don't worry I'll be your texting teacher. Call me professor.
...No thanks.
Wrong answer! Thirty points from Gryffindor!
What?
It's a Harry Potter joke. Dayum I'm really serious now: how have you LIVED?
So sorry I don't live up to your technological expectations
Nonono Harry Potter is a book series and I'll teach you the ways of texting!
Why?
Because I'm bored with nothing else to do.
Right...
Well hey think of it this way: if you become a supreme texter then you can impress Steve whats-his-face
Steve whats-his-face? He'd love to hear that
Yup. Ten points to Gryffindor for you agreeing with me!
I don't understand
For fuck's sake... that's it, I'm sending you the link to a book store where they deliver books to your doorstep, old man.
No thank you.
Too bad. Here! [link]
In case you didn't know, I have no idea how to even begin buying a book from there
Fine, lesson one has begun. Step into my classroom, please.
The nonexistent classroom?
Precisely! Now, first step: click the link
Okay...
Second step, go to the top of the page and type Harry Potter into the white bar
Okay
Then there should be a result called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Click that and then the buy button
It says I need to do payment. I don't want to fill this out.
Ask Steve then, he can help if he's in real life.
He's almost as incompetent as me.
Wait really? HA fucking old men
Something like that
Alright well I could send you my purchased Harry Potter series but you read it online
No thanks
I was actually hoping you'd say that because I feel like you'd either take up as much money as possible or go out screaming at the top of your lungs that you have my account.
Sorry to be a downer, but I would do neither
Well yeesh you are beyond abnormal. You're alien.
Thanks
You're welcome!
SHIT
FUCK
oK GOTA GO THERS A DEVIL IN MY ROOM FuCK
I am so confused...
DONT WORRY ILL BE BCK BYE
Bye...?
/
Fear not, old incompetent one, for I have returned!
Joy.
Sorry there was a certain someone that barged into my room and demand I get out of bed.
I wonder why I'm not concerned
Oh so you're apathetic too? So charming.
How do I get Steve's real number?
...You go ask him for it...?
I don't want to bother him
You mean you don't want him to know you're failing miserably at technology?
That too
Well idk how to help.
What's idk?
Oh my god I can't even... ok step into my classroom again
Alright...
I feel like you'll be living here
It sounds better than where I am now.
Where are you? A retirement center?
No but the bed is too soft and everyone hates me
Yikes that's lame. Sounds similar to me though. The last bit, I mean
Honestly people hate me more than they probably hate you.
Doubt it. I leave my room and people climb into the vents to hide from me.
I leave my room and people cower or sneer and/or aim a weapon at me when they think I'm not looking
Damn. Let me guess, they somehow make it possible to be tough and hateful while simultaneously walking on eggshells?
Yes...
Been there. Sucks.
What's idk mean?
Shit I forgot. It's abbreviated for 'I don't know'
Why would someone type like that?
Because I was too lazy to type more letters
Wow.
You better not be judging me because I can do way worse.
Is that so?
yes hows dis 4 txt tlk i warned u looser i can make u hav nitemares
How do I send this to Steve?
Wait you want him to have nightmares?
To distract him from the ones he already has? Yes.
Well that's depressing. I thought you were being funny
No. I guess I could just show him my phone though.
Oh god no don't. Don't you dare.
Why not?
Because if he's as incompetent as you say he'd probably be all like "STRANGER DANGER STAY AWAY FROM THEM THEY MIGHT MURDER YOU"
That's a very solid impression
Exactly!
Although I'm paranoid like him. Who are you?
I knew you'd ask that eventually. I don't wanna say my full name so I'll need a nickname...
That doesn't help with my paranoia
Oh well. Sorry not sorry.
How does Stranger Danger work?
That's actually fitting. But no
Fine.
What's YOUR name?
Not telling.
Oh I forgot. You're super paranoid.
Yes. How can I not be paranoid?
True. The reason I'm not paranoid is because I can hide who I am hehe
How?
I can hide my phone's connection. If anyone tries tracing my phone they'll be fucked
What did you do...
Hehehe :)
What is that supposed to be?
Turn it sideways and tell me
...Wow. Is that meant to be a face or something?
Yes. Yes indeed.
How do I make a "this conversation is beyond weird" face?
Uh... idk. Try o_O
o_O
I DONT KNOW WHY IM LAUGHING BUT I LOVE THIS AHAHA
o_O
OH mY GOD STOP HAHA IT'S JUST SO FUNNY IMAGINING AN OLD MAN TEXTING LIKE THIS
o_O
ST AHP
:)
IVE CREATED A MONSTER HWAT HAVE I DONE MY TEACHING HAS BACKFIRED
:)
STOOOOOP
:) o_O
omg i cant even...
Oops
YEAH "OOPS"
Nickname though?
OH... idk. Can I choose yours?
I guess
Oooh you're gonna regret that... ok I need some info. Don't get too paranoid. What's something you like about your appearance?
Nothing
Nothing? Nothing at all? Damn that's sad
Just don't like the way I look
Why not? Wait wait wait can I call you Hobo?
Why the hell would you call me HOBO?
Well do you have long hair?
Yes...
A beard?
Yes...
AHA I WAS RIGHT! Therefore, Hobo
No. Just no.
Well fine! :(
You're digging another hole. :(
Dammit what have I done?!
:(
Stoooop
:( :( :(
Uggghhhh fine I won't call you Hobo
Good
How about Homeless Man?
No.
Dammit....
How about we make a nickname for you first?
Mk. Dunno what it'll be
Brat? Professor? Professor Brat?
Ooooh maybe...
WAIT I GOT IT
What's your favorite animal?
Um... dogs, I guess
Ok o k ok if you had a dog what would you name it?
Idk
you're soooo helpful. Ok what does your dream dog look like?
Idk
YOURE USELESS FINE GIVE ME A SECOND
Ok?
OK I HAVE LINKS FOR DOGS. WOULD YOU LIKE A HUSKY? [link]
Maybe
Golden retriever? [link]
I like that one more
Ok what about an Australian shepherd? [link]
Yes.
Yes? OK PERFECT now what color do you want it to be?
Idk
-sigh- wow
o_O
for fucks sake
what about a brown and white one?
Maybe
Black and white?
Maybe
Brown black and white?
Maybe
Either you tell me what colors you want or I'm going to call you Patchy or Fluffy
Fluffy Patch
I guess all the colors combined
alright then was that so hard?
Sure
Ok I've got it. What about Bones?
...Bones?
Yes. Bones.
No
For fucks sake... ok what can you think of?
Idk
Would you prefer Bear?
No
Bubbles?
No
Smiley?
No
Cat?
No
Giggles?
NO.
GIGGLES IT IS THEN!
NO!
ALRIGHT THEN WHAT?
Blue
...Blue
Yes
How'd you think of that?
I have blue/silver eyes
oh... ok then BLUE IT IS!
Hooray.
Are you being sarcastic?
Possibly
Oke doke then. Now what'll be my nickname?
What color are your eyes?
Poopy brown
Wow. So poetic.
Yep
Chocolate
No
Yes
No
Yes
Noooo
Coffee?
...Maybe
Ok then your nickname is Coffee.
NoNONO I thought of something better!
Oh god... what is it?
Kat!
what
Kat
I repeat: what
I am Kat and you shall be Kit
No.
Yes!
No.
Yes! Together we will be KitKat!
No.
In case you didn't know, it's a type of candy. Chocolate, actually.
No.
Why not?! :(
Because it's stupid
No
Yes
:( youre no fun
I know
:( :( :(
:( :(
:(
:( :(
:( :( :( :(
:(
:( :( :( :( :( :(
Oh my god. STOP
Not until you agree to become Kit!
No!
FINE! How about you are Kat?
How is that any better?
Because it means you're more mature :D
Is that another face?
Yep
Ok fine.
YES YESYES
I am Kat though. You are the kid and weirdo, ok?
Yes daddy ;)
No. Stop.
Ok daddy
Bye
NoooOOoOoo waaaait
What?
Sorry I'll stop :(
Ok but I need to go anyway
Fine :( byeee Kat!
Bye
/
