A gust of crisp, sparkling air filled her truck and Bella inhaled it like she had been underwater. Her hair was whipping around and dragging lip gloss across her cheek. She wiped it off with the back of her hand.

In the fall, the air here smelled like ice and pine trees and dirt. Despite moving from Phoenix a while ago, Bella still noticed things like that. She hoped she always would.

She quickly took a sip of cider from the travel mug she had been holding between her thighs. A cold stream of liquid down her front announced that her ability to multitask remained sub par."Shoot!" she hissed, and blindly groped around her foot well for a napkin.

Finding nothing but a mass market paperback, Bella gave up and hoped that her bra could absorb most of it in the next few minutes before she got to Jacob's. She refused to deface a book, even if it was called Argentinian Playboy, Unexpected Love-Child.

It wasn't hers, of course. She exchanged a couple of books each week with Angela, who had surprisingly smutty taste. Bella secretly thought they were great and the writing wasn't much worse than some of the shit on the best seller list.

She had parked in Jacob's driveway, climbed out, and started for the front door before she heard the music coming from the garage. She changed direction and slowed her pace. Bella wasn't sure if he could hear her over the music, but curiosity quickly overpowered her sense of propriety.

Jacob was humming along and occasionally singing modified lyrics which might have earned a parental advisory warning from the RIAA, had they been recorded. There was a rhythmic, metallic clanging which kept the beat.

"Bliiiiinded by the sight wrapped up like a douche

with your mother in the night"

Bella bit her tongue to keep from laughing. She admitted to herself that she was really bad at stalking and would have made a terrible vampire.

The fact that she had wanted Edward to turn her was a private source of horror and embarrassment. Once, when Charlie was working late, she had been standing in the kitchen, eating a slice of cold pizza over the sink, when it hit her. The enormity of what she'd wanted to lose was suddenly overwhelming. Bella had sat on the linoleum and cried over a half-eaten slice of pizza for more than an hour. It had seemed so unimportant and mundane until that single, beautiful, shimmering moment. She had seen through that night, and Bella spent the first moments of every day listening to her heart beat, feeling the air move in and out of her body on its own, reveling in the rush of blood through her veins. She was beautifully and miraculously alive.

The sound of Jacob rolling out from under something on his makeshift car creeper brought her back to the present. Bella crouched down and peeked around the corner to see him sit up and look for something on the ground by his feet.

He wiped his grease covered hands off on his t-shirt and Bella rolled her eyes.

Typical, she thought. I bet he blows his nose in the shower too.

The shirt had presumably been white at the time of purchase. Now it was a kind of sludgy brownish-gray.

Honestly, how much did a pack of undershirts go for these days? Bella made a mental note to check the next time she went to WalMart.

She had only ever glanced at the rows of smiling men and nameless hips as she walked by the men's section. Ok, maybe she occasionally indulged in a closer inspection if nobody was around. But it was out of dispassionate curiosity and not for personal pleasure. Much like how she would sometimes google things that made her computer feel a bit dirty until she deleted her cookies.

Bella almost laughed at the memory of one video of a guy and a beach ball, but she stayed quiet.

Jacob was hunched over the workbench, scribbling something on a piece of paper. He had started working on other people's cars for some extra cash. He'd made a joke about rez cars, but Bella hadn't been sure if she was allowed to laugh.

Jacob actually took the whole small business thing very seriously. He had moved a metal filing cabinet to the garage to organize his records, orders, and ledgers. For somebody typically disorganized, this was quite a change.

Bella had tried to help him sort through the parts that were now in tidy boxes and the tools hanging on the wall in neat rows, but she had felt utterly lost. He had patiently explained over and over what each object was and what it did, but it was like watching a foreign film with the subtitles off.

Jacob slid the paper into a clipboard and tucked the pencil behind his ear. He tossed the clipboard onto the garage floor near the car, sending up a cloud of dust. Even though she was expecting it, Bella jumped slightly at the noise.

The movement made it obvious that her current crouching position would have to be modified. Numb lower limbs made sneaking difficult. She waited until an obnoxious car dealership ad came on the radio and stood up slowly.

Jacob had his back to her, digging around in one of the boxes of car viscera.

Bella could feel that her bra had not soaked up the cider as she had hoped. In fact, she could feel the sticky residue in the vicinity of her belly button and her shirt was damp. Bella decided that she should drink from a straw for the rest of her life.

He was laying on his back under the jacked up car. His legs were sprawled out, and his feet braced on the ground to control the creeper. Jacob's arms were apparently above his head because his shirt was being pulled up. Bella stood on her tiptoes for a better view, telling herself that it was just her natural curiosity. It wasn't like she had never seen him with his shirt off.

This was different, though. Before pushing himself under the car, the bottom of the right leg of his jeans had gotten caught under his heel. Now, the denim was being pulled between the heel of his shoe and the leather belt he was wearing.

Bella bit her lip and decided that the shoe was winning. It was hard to miss the white band showing above the waist of his worn-in jeans. She also couldn't help but notice the way his muscles and hips and that faint line of hair disappeared under the elastic. There was a rag hanging out of his pocket, but he had either forgotten about it or it was a formality. She glanced away as his abs contracted while he tightened something. This was probably wrong. How long had she been watching him?

Glancing down at her watch, Bella realized that she should be ashamed of herself. Nearly half an hour had gone by. Therapy of some sort would not be a bad idea.

She should sneak out to her car, open and close the door loudly, and greet him like a normal person would. The music was loud enough that she could claim she'd just pulled up. Or maybe she could just hide here a little bit longer.

Bella turned back to him and noticed that sweat made his skin look even more beautiful. Yeah, it was definitely time to go. She felt clammy anyway. When had she started sweating?

Abruptly, Jacob slid out from under the car and grabbed the clipboard. He felt around his pockets and then remembered the pencil. He made a quick note, put the clipboard back where it had been and stood up smoothly. Bella didn't bother looking away when he stretched.

He grabbed a family size bag of BBQ potato chips from off the workbench, tore it open, and shoveled entire handfuls into his mouth. Bella felt ill and had to close her eyes as he paused to squirt maple syrup onto a particularly large chip. Why on earth did he think that tasted good? He had made her try one once, insisting that it was "probably the best thing ever." She'd nearly thrown up, but was able to choke it down after only two dry heaves. When she had opened her watering eyes, Jacob was laughing so hard he'd had to lean against the wall.

Apparently he really did think it was edible.

After shaking the bag into his mouth to get the chip crumbs, he walked over to the ancient mini-fridge he kept in the garage, wiping BBQ chip powder and probably maple syrup onto his jeans. He threw away the empty bag and pulled four Mountain Dews out of the fridge and set them on top of it. Jacob cracked open the first with one hand and tilted his head back. A few seconds later, he crumpled the can and tossed it into a nearby garbage bag.

Jacob smacked his lips and reached over to slip a screwdriver off its nail on the wall.

Oh no, Bella thought as he took a second can and held it on its side. Who had taught him how to shotgun?

The punctured can was discarded by the time she realized she sounded like a mom.

Jacob wiped the screwdriver off on his abused shirt and hung it up. Then he picked up a third Mountain Dew and started laughing.

"Catch, Bells," he said as he threw it over to her.

She screamed instead. The can flew past her, landed in the driveway, and started hissing.

"Damn you to hell, Jacob Black!" she shouted shakily. Icy shock had jumped from her chest and was crashing along her limbs.

"Hey, I'm not the voyeur." He walked over, slid an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. Bella involuntarily leaned into him, glad to be near something warm and solid. Affection was not a part of her current emotional composition.

Jacob pulled her into a hug anyway and started laughing quietly. She tried to wriggle away but her legs wouldn't work.

"You should have seen your face. You looked like you were going to phase for the first ti-"

"Ok, I get it," she snapped, trying to hide her embarrassment and guilt. Bella wondered when he'd noticed her standing there. She decided she didn't want to know.

Jacob laughed again and hugged her tighter. Bella decided that resistance was futile and wrapped her arms around his waist. Their hips bumped against each other as she moved, but Jacob didn't seem to mind. Bella told herself for the hundredth time that if he wasn't so deliciously warm, she wouldn't hug him quite as tightly. But just like every other time, she knew it wasn't true.

She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths because she still felt lightheaded. All she breathed in was Jacob. Motor oil, soap, pine trees, fire, engine grease, laundry detergent, leather, gasoline, sandalwood...

Too late, she realized that she had been inhaling audibly.

"Are you sniffing me or crying?"

"Sniffing you."

"That's actually really nasty. I've been out here sweating all day." He sounded a bit disgusted but she could hear the usual smile in his voice.

"Chill out, Jacob. You smell good," she said into his shirt. She took a few more sniffs. Bella slid a hand up and down his back, too low to be mistaken for something just friendly. She could feel the hard muscles through his t-shirt and she wanted to drag her nails across them, leave white lines on his skin. But she could think of only a few situations in which that would be appropriate, and this wasn't one them. His t-shirt had been washed so many times that it felt like the fibers might fall apart. She sincerely hoped they would. In the meantime, it was unbelievably soft. Bella imagined the sound the fabric would make if she ripped it.

She let her arms drop and Jacob followed her lead.

"Can I get another Mountain Dew?" She knew the caffeine and sugar and dye would only make the jittery feeling in her stomach worse. But she needed something else to do besides fantasize about her best friend. Again.

He laughed. "Of course, Queen Isabella."

Bella felt her mind catch on the name, remembered it was hers. A few seconds later, he was back with a cold can. Instead of handing it to her, he dramatically dropped to his knees, took her hand and kissed it.

"Mmmm. Strawberries." He kept his lips against her skin as he said it.

"That'd be my lip gloss."

She tried to pull her hand away, but his tongue slipped out and he slowly licked the spot he'd just kissed. He paused, his breath swirling over her skin, then kissed her hand again.

"Gross, Jake." She had imagined that it would come out in a teasing, shocked tone. What actually came out was breathless, uncomfortably close to a whisper, and she didn't sound replused. She had also forgotten to yank her hand out of his. She tried again. "You don't have to act like a dog all the time, you know." Much better.

He smiled up at her and winked. "You're not fooling anybody," he said steadily. Flipping her hand over, he kissed the inside of her wrist and let go.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She wiped the back of her hand off on her jeans in a final attempt to respond like a friend would.

"Hey, your dad's car is here," he said, effectively changing the subject. He straightened and pointed to the driveway. "I guess he came over for dinner with everyone. Bella, be completely honest. Will Charlie starve to death when you go to college? I mean, I really like the guy, and I'd hate to find him dead, clutching a half-eaten box of uncooked spaghetti."

She laughed, savoring his ability to make her comfortable again. A pizza delivery guy pulled up and got out carrying a huge stack of boxes. They watched as he brought them to the door and went back to the car for the rest. Bella wondered if he thought the amount of food seemed excessive.

"I think we need to teach both of our dads how to cook. I mean, what will your dad do when it's your turn?"

Jacob looked at the ground. "I've never given the whole college thing much thought. There's no way I could afford it," he said thoughtfully, glancing at her.

"Nobody can," she mumbled.

He smiled. "Ok, I'll consider it. But maybe we could discuss the logistics of higher education later. I'm starving."

"Yeah, me too," Bella said. "Uhh...do you think I could borrow a shirt?"

"Oh my god, you spilled something all over yourself again, didn't you?" he said in mock indignation.

"Apple cider." She blushed a little.

"Alright then, let's go inside so you can soil one of my t-shirts with pizza sauce."

"Ouch. You know, I won't drop tomato-based foods onto myself if you have plates this time," she responded bitterly.

Jacob reached behind them to turn off the lights and started towards the house. Bella bent down to pick up the can that she had failed to catch.

"Hey, there's still a lot in here," she said with unwarranted excitement. "And you should recycle all of those empty cans." She ran a little to catch up with him.

Jacob smirked, "Alright, you can have that one; I'll take the full one. I hate litter anyway. It makes me cry."

Bella laughed loudly before she could stop herself and tried unsuccessfully to play it off as a coughing fit.

He put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. They walked in silence the rest of the way, their breath making white mist in the night air. Bella smiled. She would have missed that too.

Jacob opened the front door and went in, letting warmth and noise and family and light spill out into the cold darkness around her. Inexplicably, she hesitated.

"Come on, Bells. It's freezing out there," he said, laughing a little. And Jacob reached out and pulled her inside.