I am attempting my first fan fiction ever. All right. I'd love some reviews to know how I'm doing! Here we go! Oh, and on a side note, this is in Scorpius's POV using first person. I am not a male, so please bear with me if it doesn't sound very manly. Because you know, I am not a man. Also, I am an American, so if the dialect sounds a little off, please help me out. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. All credit goes to the wonderful J.K Rowling.


I don't know when I realized what feelings were. Alright, I know, it makes me sound like a slight psychopath. I don't mean actual emotions. I mean feelings for someone in particular. I don't know when I determined I could have non-platonic feelings for someone other then myself. You see, now that makes me come across as an arrogant, egotistical prat. Obviously I'm not cut out for this whole self-realization thing, I figured it would be easy, but well, it's not.

My father always told me with all the bad in the world, it was difficult for love to prosper. I may have interpreted that statement to the extreme; at least I see that now. I believed love couldn't prosper, that it was only a false illusion people placed themselves under in an attempt to fool themselves into thinking they were happy. But how could they be? Tying yourself down to one particular person seemed an impossible feat, one I never really had the nerve to try. Let's just say my love life was usually the most exciting, and to the surprise of over half of the population of Hogwarts, I didn't regularly embark on nightly sexscapades. I used to, I'll admit, but that promptly ended when my father sat me down and told me one of his stands managed to hex his member to the size of a… Well, I very large object I'd rather not mention. Those mental images still managed to haunt me daily. I still remember how he began our conversation:

"Now son," he had drawled, motioning for me to take up the seat across from him. "I know sex seems exciting, but I should tell you about the time I had…"

And yes, he had the swelling of his.. –Well, you know, and then our conversation promptly ended. My father was never really one for words.

My mother always told me marriage would be the best thing to ever happen to me. I was always appalled by the statement, when I was younger I had always found the dreams of being a Healer or a Quidditch extraordinaire much more attainable and well, important. I mean, come on. Imagine being a fifteen year old male who had already lost purity to a hoard to slags, long since given up on the prospect of a steady girlfriend. Would you see marriage as the possible best thing to ever happen to you, let on your number one priority for the future? I didn't think so.

I do suppose I should backtrack and explain why these hoard of thoughts have been clouding my mind these past few days. Well, there is this girl. And I'm not going to jump to any conclusions, I don't like her, I can't like her. She's been this thorn in my foot for the past six or so years, the absolute bane of my existence. She's that one person I could never get along with, no matter how hard I tried. And I'll admit, I never really tried that hard. But hey, neither did she. Constantly trying to beat me at everything, rubbing every single mark she ever got in my face. I swear, Merlin, that girl seemed to do everything just to spite me, just to step on my toes. I tried to stay I way, I did, but it's really difficult to do so when your two best friends just happen to be her cousin. I was invited to their every family function, hell, I was practically their family. So, naturally, I would see her. And naturally, every time I'd casually walk by, she'd pretend to be engrossed in a conversation with her aunt/uncle/cousin/brother that was focused on her latest Outstanding in Charms. Charms just happens to be the bane of my existence, as well. And of course, she'd smirk as I would stroll past, clearing her throat and speaking a little bit louder, making sure I could hear her boasting. I honestly can't put into words how much I detest this girl.
But here's the problem, I can't get her out of my head. I just can't. And no, I've never had this problem before.

I guess it began at the end of last term, the end of our sixth year.

I was talking with my jolly good friends, by the names of Albus Potter and Louis Weasley. The first a Gryffindor and the latter a fellow Ravenclaw. We were all gathered around a library table, discussing the poor results of our final exams. Well, Albus and my poor results, Louis just happens to be Hogwart's resident genius, second only to one bitchy little lady who I shall not name at this moment. Other than that, we were discussing that which normal manly men discuss, including the year's greatest lays, and which incoming third year females we believe would benefit from puberty over the summer. My money was on one Nicole Montague. Although she was already Slytherin's resident bitch, her mother is quite the looker and her daughter would likely have the same looks. Albus was betting on a Hufflepuff by the name of Bryony Abercrombie but honestly, I just didn't see it. She'd have to do something about those horrid eyebrows; they tended to swallow up her whole face. But that's beside the point. You-know-who just happened to stroll by our table just as I was discussing my rather well "manly" plans for next year. And by You-know-who, I am unfortunately not referring to Voldemort, but Merlin I wish I had been. She scoffed loudly, and as I turned around to face her, I met a face filled with disgust. Her flaming red hair was just as disgruntled and untamed as ever, her lightly freckled face contorted into one that looked as though she had just sniffed something sour. Her eyes were filled with hate and contempt, and as my eyes met hers, she tapped her foot impolitely.

"I don't see why you bother with him, Al and Lou, you guys are so much better than this,"Rose huffed, looking towards her cousins with a raised eyebrow.

I chortled, nearly choking on my spit. That was the biggest piece of bullshit I had ever heard, the two sixth years seated across from me did nothing but egg me on. They had in fact been the starters of our conversation, Louis beginning with how he had hoped Professor Longbottom's daughter Dahlia would grow a good rack.

Albus and Louis found Rose's statement just as amusing as I had, and proceeded to blatantly snigger.

"Listen Rosie, if you think Scorp is a bad influence you've obviously ignored half our family and their very sketchy actions. If it weren't for us, he'd probably be a little recluse, holed up in the Ravenclaw tower," Louis grinned back at his cousin, attempting to tame her sour expression. However, it had the opposite effect.

"Bullshit Louis. He's like the plague," She basically spat the words at me, though her eyes refused to gaze in my direction. Honestly, I never knew exactly what I did to ruffle her feathers so much, she had hated me since I first had laid eyes on her. However, that was another story in and of itself, one that didn't relate too much to the story unfolding at that moment. Growing irritated by the conversation that was unfolding, I angrily waved my hand in front of Rose's face, hoping to catch her attention.

"I'm still in the room, I'll have you know. Unfortunately for both of us, I'm still in your presence, and I can still hear everything you are saying. So please, bitch to someone else, Al and Lou obviously aren't going to hear it."

She looked as though I had slapped her in the face, and for a moment I didn't care. Her body stiffened considerably, her eyes void of any of the hatred they held before. If I had held any previous common sense, I lost it at that point. Years of my own contempt boiled over, and I possessed too much momentum, it never occurred to me to hold my tongue.

"Finally, the wench is silent. Took you only… -Oh, sixteen years?" My face held a content smirk as her gaze was locked with mine. Of course, I kept going. "Oh, cat finally got your tongue Weasley? Thrilling sensation, isn't it…? Being silent."

Her eyes pooled with tears, her mouth a narrow line. She hiccupped slightly, though at the moment I was too much of a fool to notice. Al and Lou were unnaturally silent, watching the horror unfold.

"Bitter isn't it. The taste of your own medicine."

Rose snapped at that moment, her eyelids filled to their brim. Her eyes wandered to Albus and Louis, as if she were trying to find support against little old me. I knew for a fact they wouldn't give her any, while the lot of them were family, they had realized that I had been the one on the receiving end most of the time over the past six years. Sure, I gave Rose shit too; I wasn't a pansy who had never stood up for himself before. However, I had never really brought Al and Lou into it before. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not really that big of a prat, I understood the fact that Rose had grown up with Al and Lou, and was naturally extremely close to the lot of them. And even though I had only added them into the insults off-handedly, I could still see the betrayal festering within Rose Weasley's mind. They hadn't said anything to defend her; instead they sat in the awkward silence, watching the short battle ensue.

She fled after a few silent moments, giving a stiff, knowing nod and turning on her heel, attempting to keep her composure. However, Rose was only a few steps away when I heard a stifled sob, and her pace quickened, seeking shelter behind the bookshelves.

I turned to face Lou and Al momentarily, their faces still full of surprise, and I think I spotted slight anguish. Al simply muttered a few words.

"I'd apologize, personally," He looked in the direction Rose had gone, his eyebrows quirked in anticipation.

I did get up, though at the moment I didn't know why. I myself had never been particularly rude to Rose. I would defend myself if she chose to be particularly nasty that day, though I myself was never the instigator. I never knew the underlying reason behind Rose's scorn toward me; it just began and never stopped. My body and subconscious was telling my feet where to go, my mind still plagued with my own bemusement with my actions. And before I knew it, I had stopped, and was looking down at a frizzy red-head curled up into a tight ball.

She was naturally sobbing.

Naturally.

I don't do sobbing. I'm generally not a very empathetic person, especially when it comes to the girl who has been harassing me since I was eleven. I can't comfort people either. I remember when I was seven and my parents got into a huge row over something petty. My mother had been a basket case, considering the two never fought. And I couldn't do shit. Zip. Zilch. Nada. I kind of just patted her back until she stopped shuddering. I hope it had helped somewhat.

At this moment I just hovered over Rose, watching her intently as she… Well, as she cried. Yes, how I know, how helpful. I did start to lean down, though in that moment her sobs stopped and she uncurled from her uncomfortable-looking position.

And her eyes locked with mine.

It was peculiar, for a second there I swore I saw something other than contempt. Surprise, probably, but I've always told myself it was something more. But that was beside the point, right after we made eye contact, Rose's pale eyes narrowed into slits.

If looks could kill.

"What the fuck are you doing here Malfoy?" Rose spat venom at me, although I was used to her tone of voice.

"Well, considering half of Hogwarts can hear your hideous sobs, I figured I should try and silence you. Put everyone out of their misery," I gave her a small smirk, not realizing this wasn't the best time for my ever sp witty remarks. "Really Rose, you are the ugliest crier I have ever seen."

I was expecting to get hexed, or something of that nature, it was basically routine for us at this point. However, I was surprised when she took my remark to heart, and hastily began to wipe away the tears from her eyes. Rose pulled herself out of her bundled position, stretching out her legs until her knees were barely bent. With one last movement, she pushed her bush of auburn hair behind her ear and allowed her eyes to dart to the floor.

I wasn't used to the silence, and honestly, it was pretty unnerving. The Rose I knew has the thickest skin in probably Hogwart's history, and she would have never shifted herself out of an awkward position for Scorpius Malfoy. She couldn't give a rat's arse about how she presented herself to me, or what I thought of her. Until now, obviously.

I slowly bent down until I was seated on the floor across from her, my own legs stretched out until my toes were near touching hers. Rose shrunk slightly away from me, nerved by the close proximity. She began raising her glance to cast me a questioning, puzzled look.

"Listen, Rose. I'm—Well, I'm sorry. I never meant what I said,"

She stared in silence for a few moments, seemingly evaluating my expression, perhaps to see if I was being genuine. I was, mind you, and I personally believed it came across very clearly in my sincere apology.

"Just… Just don't Malfoy," Her eyes narrowed, her brows furrowing. "I know you meant what you said. And it's—well it's true."

I was shocked by her statement, my face contorting into an expression of confusion. Yet I kept my gaze locked intently on Rose. She stiffened under my eyes, seemingly uncomfortable by how I was watching her. Her eyes dashed everywhere except for me, her mouthed opened and yet nothing was said.

"Shite, Weasley…"

I trailed off, not knowing what else to say. As much as she probably would have liked for me to tell her off, to explain to her that I disagreed whole-heartedly to her previous statement. But I couldn't. It was true, she had treated me like shit for the past six years; I do believe I had the right to tell her off. However, despite everything, my previous anger had dissolved, and I looked over to Rose with a slightly pained expression.

"I'm a frigid bitch, and I shouldn't have treated you so badly these last few years… It's just—" She trailed off this time, biting her bottom lip as her fingers tugged at the hem of her blouse. In all honesty, ignoring her swollen, red face, she looked mighty attractive at that moment. I of course pushed away the thoughts. This was the girl who had been so adamant on expressing her distaste for me over the past six years. And even if I did find her attractive, the though of us together was so preposterous I do believe all of Hogwarts would have a heart attack from the news.

"I've been so bloody jealous of you…"

I blinked, all previous thoughts fleeing my head and leaving it empty and confused. She looked at me nervously, and I could practically see her mentally slapping herself for disclosing such personal information with me.

"Well, your relationship with Al and Lou," Rose clarified this, perhaps thinking I had gone on some spree thinking about all the things she could have been jealous of. Well, actually, I had for a few moments, and I had drawn up one giant blank. Honestly, Rose Weasley, top of our class, shoe in for Head Girl, beautiful, sweet as can be (when not around me, obviously), jealous of me? While sure, I wasn't exactly stupid; Rose always beat me in tests. And I have had more detentions than I could count, thanks to being friends with those two bloody prats. I was practically albino, and I will admit I have gotten my fair share of sluts; I could have never counted on landing a girl like… Well a girl like Rose. Therefore, despite her clarification, I still did not understand quite what she was saying.

My eyes caught hers, and I frowned, still in disbelief over what she had said.

"You've gotten so close to them these few years, and well, I've fallen out with them. And for the longest time I thought you were trying to alienate them, that you were filling their heads with stories of how rotten I was just to spite me. I thought you were friends with them just to piss me off. And despite everything they told me, I didn't believe them. Not once. I was still so caught up on everything my father told me about your family, about how he had told me to beat you when we saw you on the platform before first year. And I thought you being friends with Al and Lou was just you trying to beat me. But of course not—I should have seen it, Malfoy."

She exhaled sharply at the end of her rant, pulling her knees into her chest and hiding her face behind her palms. I watched her silently until I heard a muffled, almost incoherent sentence escape her lips. "I should have known Malfoy—all these years. You are so much better than me."

Rose was basically sobbing again, and all that aside, I snorted. Yes, snorted, and began a rather loud laughing fit right in the middle of the library. Her head snapped up, confusion written all over her features. Anger was evident too, Rose was clearly unhappy with the fact that I was laughing at everything she had just disclosed with me. Feeling slightly betrayed, she hit my on the arm. I promptly stopped laughing.

"Shite Weasley! That bloody hurt!"

I rubbed the spot, for such a frail looking girl she sure could throw a punch.

"Malfoy, I'm serious!"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh Weasley. Just the prospect of you being jealous of me is bloody ridiculous. Not only that, but I can't believe you thought I was petty enough to do that kind of thing to anyone."

She seemed hurt by my statement, although I had no intentions of hurting her. Though thinking back as to what I said, I do believe it was the second part. I had basically implied that she had been the petty person, spending years punishing me for something I had never done. However, all my years of spite toward her dissolved at the sight of her inwardly punishing herself for her actions.

"Listen, Weasley, I probably would have done the same…" That was a lie, and we both knew it, but it seemed to make Rose feel a bit better.

"No, Malfoy, you wouldn't have, but thanks anyway." She gave me a weak smile, and pushed her hair away from her face.

A silence fell over the two of us, both unsure of what to say next. It was the first time we had ever been completely civil toward each other, not counting the times when we did it just to please Albus and Louis. She fiddled with the hem of her skirt while I pretended to find of piece of lint extraordinarily interesting. She was the first to speak.

"Malfoy, I was thinking we should be mates…"

I looked at her, surprised by what she had just said. What about all those years of bitterness, all that hate and contempt? She seemed to be read my mind.

"I was so wrong in judging you that way, and I can see now that you are a really good bloke," Rose smiled slightly again. I was beginning to realize she really did have a beautiful smile.

"I—uh… Yea—I think that's a… Well, thanks. Sure—mates." I was still too surprised, unable to spit out a coherent sentence. Rose laughed lightly at the blubbering, and I couldn't help but ponder over what she was thinking. In that moment she picked herself up from the ground, and began to stroll away. However, she stopped and turned to face me.

"I'm really sorry, Mal—Er, Scorpius. For everything. And I'm really glad you can be my mate after everything I've done to you."

Before I could reply, she strode away, though I'm glad she did leave. Because if she had stayed, I'm not sure what I would have blurted out to her.

Because at the moment I realized that I actually might fancy Rose Weasley.