I don't own Twilight
The car was silent.
The heavy tension weighing down on us was almost too much to bare. I snuck a looked over at my husband and almost flinched. His knuckles were bone white as he gripped the steering wheel, navigating us through the icy roads. His jaw was tight and stressed. The heaviness of our fight was still hovering over us like a dark cloud. If I didn't know him as well as I did, I'd be worried about him driving the way he was.
Shit.
"Are you going to speak to me or just ignore me for an hour?" I asked.
His exhaled sharply. "I'd prefer to ignore you." He ground out.
That angered me. "You're such a child sometimes, I can't believe we can't even be civil!"
He smirked. It wasn't his normal crooked grin; it was cynical and almost mean. "Civil?" he chuckled, "Fucking spare me, you're the one who always wants to fight!"
I rolled my eyes and restrained myself from telling him to fuck off. Instead I crossed my arms and looked at the phone in my lap. This hostility was still foreign to me and it hit hard whenever I'd get yelled at. My hysterics? Fucking ridiculous. Before I could stop myself, I started thinking about how different this time last year was.
Christmas in Forks had always been the best time of the year. My family was great and it got even greater when Edward and I got married five years ago. Every year the Cullen's would invite the Swans over to stay at their estate for a week. We had dinners and game nights by the fire, then celebrated Christmas and New Years with family. It was perfect.
This year just… wasn't. This year had started off rocky, but it got even worse when Edward and I separated four months ago. Our family gave us hell about getting married so young. Even Esme, the biggest believer of love and marriage, warned us to wait. She said that young love was dangerous, told us to take our time to grow as an individual before growing as a couple.
We didn't listen.
Now we were separated and too afraid to tell everyone. Any of them. Not even Esme or my dad. We decided to wait until after the holidays. Try to ease it in once the cheer ended so we wouldn't ruin the joy. It was more of an excuse than actual reasoning, though. Hopefully it would also lessen the embarrassment of a failed marriage if we waited. Deal with the separation before outing ourselves.
I looked out the window and saw a blur of white and grey. It's funny how we as people change so drastically in such little time, but places like Forks seem to live on the same forever. I frowned. It was all his fault. Or maybe it was mine. I honestly couldn't tell anymore. After months of fighting, crying, broken vases and picture frames, the delirium had set in. We were both out of our minds, I didn't see him as my Edward anymore. He was just the asshole who hurt me and broke my things. And I'm the bitch who drove him away and threw a glass of whisky at him.
After a while of silence he exhaled a shaky breath and spoke. "Can you put your rings on, please? We're almost there."
I complied and reached into my bag, digging around for the blue velvet box he presented me with when he proposed. It creaked opened, elegantly securing my engagement ring and wedding band. Gold, a fire opal, big and round with a matching gold band. His great, great grandmother had beautiful taste.
I quickly slipped them on, not ignorant to the feeling of joy that ran down my spine as I saw it adorned on my finger once more. After this, it would be the last time. Looking at it some more, I tried to convince myself that I just liked seeing a wedding ring on my finger, nothing more.
Edward sped expertly through the icy roads, finally reaching town limits. As he drove past our old high school and hangouts I took the opportunity to let everyone know we were arriving. Our group chat blew up with texts of excitement and joy from everyone. Charlie was the last to send a message, telling me how excited he was.
I missed him more than I could describe. To keep our secret, I had to emotionally distance myself from everyone. I was a shit liar and had no control over heavy emotions, especially with my dad. The phone calls to everyone, the texts, even the emails halted – all of it had been cut down. Their suspicion wasn't subtle. But I had to do it to keep our secret. It also added a layer of bitterness, Edward was so great at faking it, he was always talking to our family, even my dad. It made me angrier at him.
As Edward drove up the long road towards his family's plantation styled estate, I took deep breaths and let all the tension lift from my body. Edward slowly fixed his face – and attitude – as we crept up the long, winding driveway. Esme, Carlisle, Charlie, and Sue all waited near the porch, waving and trembling. As soon as we got out of our car, we were embraced by loving arms.
When Charlie hugged me tight, I caught Edward's eye. What I saw in his eyes in that moment I hadn't seen in maybe two years: genuine longing.
Hey guys, sorry it's been so long. If you've been following since the first version of this story then you know what was going on with my personal life. My brother is unfortunately still in the hospital, eight months now actually, and stuff got really heavy for a long time. If you want the full story on what happened, I've posted a donation link on my profile if you're interested in reading or sharing (which would be v touching and i'd be v grateful). Anyway, I started this story as an exercise and a distraction, and updating might be slow depending on what's happening, but I'm not interested in giving up on this one. so enjoy.
I'll also be posting a playlist every chapter, the links on my bio!
