Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, and am making no money off of this fic.
AN: Written for the June 22nd Cocktail Party prompt found here: gwcocktailfriday . tumblr .com (/)post/175009064220. (Without the spaces and parentheses.)
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Paradise Found by luvsanime02
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Hilde doesn't know why she still came here. Maybe she just hadn't wanted to waste the money. Maybe she'd needed some space. Maybe she was just sick of all the well-meaning condolences from everyone. She'd wanted to get away, to think by herself for a little while, and so she'd gone on her honeymoon, after all, even if she was alone.
Picking up her margarita and leaning back in a white wicker chair, Hilde gazes out at the water and wonders when it all went wrong. She doesn't know. She's not even upset, is the thing. Everyone expects her to be. All of Hilde's friends are outraged on her behalf, and she's beyond grateful for the support, but at the same time, all that she feels instead is relief.
When Hilde had woken up on the morning of her wedding, she hadn't felt happy. Or nervous. She hadn't anticipated the ceremony. She'd felt… like she was walking to a guillotine, honestly. When she'd found the note, the letter informing Hilde that there would be no wedding, she hadn't cried. Instead, she'd calmly called the caterer, the minister, the church. She'd phoned her friends and family, and had several exhausting conversations, but after she was done with that, she'd lied back down on her bed and looked at her ceiling and thought, Thank god.
She should be devastated, but she isn't, and Hilde doesn't know when she started to feel this way. She'd been so happy when they'd first gotten engaged. Thrilled. Gradually, though, her feelings had shifted, she recognized now. The more and more time that had gone on, and the more and more details that she had arranged for the wedding, the more and more Hilde had begun to feel trapped. Trapped, and with no way out that she could see.
Now, she's free. She feels free, not abandoned. She still doesn't know if going on her honeymoon alone like this was a good idea or not, but it was better than continuing to sit in her apartment and listen to her mom go on and on about how awful this all is.
Hilde feels bad for not feeling bad, truthfully.
Out here, though, right next to the ocean and with a drink in her hand, Hilde feels calm and content. Like the past six months have been a constant fight underwater, and she's just now breaking the surface and able to breathe again.
Hilde hadn't even realized that she was drowning.
How scary, really, that she could have made such a huge mistake in her life without even realizing until after it was done and over with. That's the part of all of this that's surprised Hilde the most. She's always considered herself a very self-aware person, but apparently, she still has a lot left to learn.
Well, no time like the present, Hilde thinks, staring contemplatively out at the ocean. She takes another sip of her drink. No time like now to find herself again, really.
