This was new and uncertain territory for Tamsin. She wasn't accustomed to having to wear a brave face when she felt like shit. She wasn't accustomed to feeling humiliated. But she did know how to hide herself, her real self, she knew how to project what she wanted seen. The valkyrie paced nervously, chewing on a fingernail.
Bo really pulled the wool over her eyes, she thought to herself. Not even to put the all the blame on Bo, but the detective was left feeling bamboozled. At least between the sheets, everything indicated they were in it to win it, they were a team. Partners in crime.
It's you and me babe, against the world.
And it was bullshit. Well maybe not bullshit precisely but Tamsin had overestimated her game. She was just another notch in the succubus's bedpost. Should'a seen that one coming a mile away, detective.
It was practically justice, sweet justice — having to babysit her predecessor, making sure she wasn't concocting any further schemes to screw over the Morrigan. Tamsin was hardly committed to her work however - she mostly just frittered around the lab, occasionally spinning in chairs and sometimes asking whats this or whats that.
Lauren was clearly annoyed by the valkyrie's presence but was civil. Always civil.
Days had turned into weeks, and Tamsin's illusions of this being a short one-time gig had dissipated. The thought that this new appointment could easily turn into her full-time job was distressing; it hadn't occurred to her, not at first anyway, that spending all-day every-day with her ex-lover's ex-lover was no easy feat. It affected the mind. It made one needlessly contemplative. It forced one to think about things they'd rather not think about.
Sometimes they briefly shared eye contact, and Tamsin could tell the doctor was still wounded by all things involving the succubus. Just as Tamsin was irritated by having to endure the company of Bo's preferred lover day in and day out, she began to realize how — to the doctor — her presence must be a constant reminder of Bo's boundless infidelity. Now that she, too, had been cast off Tamsin felt a familiar icky feeling than anyone else in the world would easily identify as remorse.
Tamsin figured Evony assigned her to this job because she knew there would be some animosity between the two women. Who better to watch Bo's ex but another one of Bo's exes? That and Evony had a sick sense of humor. Granted, the detective did feel resentment initially, but it was starting to wear thin. Spending entire speechless days locked in a room with the doctor was having an unanticipated side effect; it was almost like looking into a mirror. She could recognize the same hurt she felt in someone else, and instead of feeling jealousy — she felt compassion.
The detective massaged her eyes.
"Hey," she said softly and sincerely, "For the record…"
Lauren shot Tamsin an intense look, "For the record you can… kindly not talk to me unless it's unavoidable. If you're looking for camaraderie — seriously Tamsin — fuck off."
"Wow, well, I didn't think those words were even in your vocabulary."
Lauren rolled her eyes and went back to tap-tap-tapping at a keyboard.
"So you and the Morrigan, huh. That's some…uncharted territory. I mean there's Vex, but, well Vex, you know? I hear he casts a pretty wide net."
Lauren was starting to smolder. Having the valkyrie as a chaperone was an insult on top of injury. Each word from her mouth was a pin-prick pushing Lauren closer and closer to the end of her tolerance.
"Look, I'm sorry. I was a jerk to you because I thought it would help me get what I wanted. And once I got what I wanted, well, it didn't want me. I don't expect you to pity me or feel bad for me in any way, I'm just trying to apologise since we're both sort of — stuck here."
Lauren released a heavy breath, steadying her words before speaking, "Fine. Thanks."
"Unlike you, ya know, she didn't love me at all. It was just — friendly, utilitarian. I can see that now."
Lauren was slightly surprised by her reaction to these words, and disappointed with herself that they gave her a fleeting jolt of happiness. At the same time she was mildly sympathetic to the valkyrie's heartbreak but only to a limited extent. Tamsin had made a career out of burning bridges, after all.
"She's not like other Fae. I get the attraction."
Lauren swiftly spun around in her chair.
"Did I offend?"
"Why don't you just stop talking. I'll work a lot faster if I have peace and quiet."
"If I may ask — how did you deal with Dyson fucking her on the side? I mean, that's one hell of an arrangement isn't it."
Lauren was stunned into silence.
"…It's like he's always hangin' around always on standby, you know? There's got to be more to it than what they let on. She's probably with him right now."
"Why, Tamsin, why do you insist on talking about these things…?"
"Because I'm jealous. Because I resent Dyson. Seriously if we're talking Fae evolutionary scale here — I'm a motherfuckin' Valkyrie and he's just… he's just a shape-shifter. Big deal…" The valkyrie spread her fingers and contorted her face, making a comically exaggerated expression to emphasize Dyson's low social status.
"He doesn't deserve her, you know what I'm saying? Why does Bo keep him around?" she finally added in a frustrated, cracking voice.
"I do know what you're saying," Lauren answered, "But it's not my problem. What other people choose to do is not up to me. Their choices are their own and they alone are responsible for those choices."
"Such a human response," Tamsin took a long pause, spinning in an office chair before continuing, "You know the big difference between us," said as she placed her hand on her heart, "—and you people, humans I mean, is that we've got the benefit of time. You guys are on a different learning curve. You either learn from your mistakes or you die. We get to fuck things up again and again before we get something right.
I just wish I could …spare Bo all that, you know? I wish I could make her see things the way I see them."
The doctor frowned, "You should be aware that you can't force people to change. It has to be voluntary if it's to be genuine."
"But you can force people to change. I know, I've seen it," And with these words the valkyrie narrowed her eyes and stared off into an empty corner of the lab...
"When I was a …..younger woman, Odin had me hang out with Death quite a bit, you know, show me the ropes — who goes to Hel and who goes to Valhalla, and as far as Odin's friends went Death was okay — a little creepy but not in a skeevy way, know what I'm saying?
"So anyway, one day we're sailing on his ship, we're trailing this vessel that had been caught by some freakish south winds and pushed into arctic waters. There was a thick fog, the water was choppy, and it was hard to navigate — so we just watched these poor fuckers panic. Death was rattling some dice in his boney palm, 'call it!' he'd say. But I insisted we wait — things were going to get more interesting.."
Lauren extended a finger, requiring some clarification, "Wait a minute — you and Death are out …sailing?"
"Oh yeah. Death loves to sail. He finds it soothing, the wide open ocean, the freedom. He would always say it relaxes him, like being rocked in a cradle.."
"Okay, okay. This is beyond weird but I forget who I'm talking to."
Tamsin smirked and continued with her story. "Anyway, a day or two goes by and these sailors are restless. They're cautious about eating their food, less cautious about chopping open a cask of wine.
"Days pass and someone spies an albatross flying overhead, so they all agree to follow its lead. The captain takes the helm, the crew take the sails… and they follow this magnificent bird to clear skies.
"However - once they're safe — the Captain pulls his crossbow from his hip and shoots the bird down. It lands on the deck and he holds it up like some prize. Of course some of the sailor dudes are thrilled but others are freaked out, like this is a bad omen, you know? People were still suspicious types then. Especially seafaring men.
"So Death and I debate what to do because we both think this was a dick move. So we steer these fuckers towards the equator against their will, and let them roast under the heat of the sun. One by one the crew damn the Captain, citing his ill deed, and one by one, the crew die, from either sunstroke or dehydration. Death rolls the die and he claims the crew. I roll and get the Captain, best prize of all in my opinion.
"The few crew still alive at that point tie the rotting bird carcass around the Captain's neck as an offering. You know that whole nail him to a cross thing? It was like that but this guy is wearing the bird and heaven help him when he tried to pull it off. That fucker was miserable, let me tell you — watching his crew die under the sun, rotting where they fell. But the worst was yet to come.
"At night, for shits and giggles, Death would raise the crew, living dead, decaying flesh teeming with worms would stand and take their stations, glaring at the Captain with cold, empty stone eyes.
"Obviously, this freaked the Captain the fuck out. After a couple days of this, and who knows — maybe he was high from dead bird fumes — he looked over the side of his boat and observed all the life beneath the surface and in that moment his heart changed; he felt love and affection for all living things, and saw beauty in everything.
"Death gave his crew final rest. And I let the Captain ….choose his own fate. He chose to tell his tale to any ear that would listen.. People thought he was a loon. Well, most people. But he lived to a ripe old age, and rests peacefully now."
"That is…not exactly how I learned that poem but — close enough, and frighteningly more personal," Lauren was aghast.
"My point was that we're shaped by our experiences. The Captain didn't see the value in any life other than his own until he was at death's door. If we hadn't come along, he probably would have lived a long and selfish life, oblivious to everything beyond his own nose."
"Instead the two of you traumatized him."
"Eh. You say trauma, I say it was character building. But I'd wager he never took anything for granted again."
"So this has what to do with Bo and Dyson exactly?"
Tamsin dug the tip of her tongue into her molar and thought about how she should reply. This was the first real conversation she'd had with with the human doctor and was fairly shocked that she'd managed to hold her interest for this long. Why did she choose to tell this story? Why this one over so many others? Because it had an impact on her. Because she'd never witnessed another life change so significantly in a single moment. Because all of the formative changes to take place in her own life were precipitated by devastating events.
Suddenly the detective realized she wasn't telling this particular story to talk about Bo or Dyson, she was telling it to talk about herself.
"Because we were talking about change. Do people really change? Maybe I'm pissed at Dyson because I'm just like him. Kinda."
This last revelation seemed to pique Lauren's interest, "How so?" she asked.
Tamsin waved her hand — indicating she was done talking so candidly. "Lemme just say I've made some bad choices. Maybe everything is just catching up to me, and I'm getting exactly what I deserve…" her voice trailed off.
The valkyrie looked positively miserable, and Lauren was on the verge of feeling genuinely sorry for her. If she had hated Tamsin any less — and if the detective hadn't so brazenly pursued Bo while she and the succubus were still a couple — Lauren might have instinctively offered a hug. It was her nature, after all — to console, to comfort — to ease suffering. Instead, she stood transfixed, frozen and unsure what type of response was appropriate.
But before she could react Tamsin sprung back to life: "So — crazy idea here — as women scorned — how about we both try being, you know, better friends? How about we start with a truce?"
