Through the Glass

AlwaysPadfoot


For many years it confused me why everyone thought that Millicent Bulstrode was ugly. For a while I thought it was a joke that everyone seemed to be in on, but when I was in fourth year I finally understood exactly why I saw her differently.

You have Fae Blood, Morag. You will always perceive things as they truly are.

It explained a lot of things to me. Why I didn't fawn over Kenny Jonson in the year above. Why I didn't trust Padma's sister as much as everyone else in our dorm. But most of all it explained why to me Millicent was stunningly beautiful. It was clear that she wore a glamour, but what I didn't understand was why she used it to make herself uglier and why she'd used it since she was just eleven years old.

People talked behind her back, called her awful names and it wasn't until fifth year that I started defending her. People would look at me sideways, and some people would try and convince me that I should agree that she was ugly.

Morag, why do you defend her? That girl will never be beautiful.

She's still a person.

I never once told anyone that I knew she was wearing a glamour charm because it was her business not mine. I was desperate to meet her alone and tell her just how beautiful she really was, plus there was a deep rooted curiosity that had been building in my stomach for so many years.

That's why in fifth year when I walked into her heading up to Transfiguration just after Halloween I simply stared at her.

"What are you looking at MacDougal?"

I caught my breath and picked up my books before blurting out. "I know."

Her facade cracked, if only for a split second, before her nose crinkled in disgust. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

I probably wouldn't have done it if we weren't in an empty corridor, but as she turned to leave I grabbed her wrist. "I can see just how beautiful you are really and if you ever want to talk about it, come find me."

She simply yanked her hand away and stalked off to Transfiguration. I followed her, taking my usual spot next to Su Li on the left hand side of the classroom.

I found it hard to concentrate because when I thought back to that moment when her expression changed for that short moment, I was sure she looked scared. Why would she be so scared? Su Li suddenly took my attention from the Slytherin girl and launched into some gossip that concerned exactly what Zach had been up to last night with Cara Williams from the year below.

She always knew what was going on, Su was incredibly observant despite not being the brightest Ravenclaw around. So I let myself get lost in her story, forgetting about the Slytherin across the other side of the classroom.

Over the next two weeks, I felt a great deal of confusion radiating from Millicent, but she was refusing to make eye contact with me.

However, after that, on a cold Sunday morning, where I seemed to be one of only a handful of people up, I felt someone knock into me and drop a small piece of paper on the table next to my plate. Letting my gaze lift up slightly, I saw the back of a slim girl with long dark hair twisted up into a bun walking down the aisle between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin table.

My eyes then flickered back to the paper, which I carefully unfolded discretely at my place.

Quidditch Pitch. Twenty minutes.

My heart skipped a beat and I crumpled the paper up and dropped it into my jeans pocket. It took two weeks, but maybe I was finally going to find out why the girl I'd truly seen for five years was not who everyone else saw.

Twenty minutes later I was leaning against the entrance to the House Changing Rooms, waiting for any sign of the mysterious girl from Slytherin.

Suddenly a hand grabbed me from behind and pulled me inside the changing room. I found myself pinned against the back of the door by none other than Millicent Bulstrode. I let myself get over the sudden shock before meeting her gaze, as puzzled and suspicious as it was.

"You said you could see me really," she sneered. "What did you mean?"

I knocked her hand away with a roll of my eyes. "I mean I can truly see you, I can see your hair neatly tied up in that bun, I can see your slim figure and soft features and most of all I can see how scared you are in your green eyes that I might possibly know that you are wearing a glamour."

Millicent stepped back, her look clearly giving away both her confusion and her consideration of running from me.

"How?"

I shifted uncomfortably. I couldn't tell her about my Fae Blood because it could put me and my family in danger. Being part Fae gave us abilities far more can just being to perceive things as they are.

"It's a long story," I finally said after long moments of almost complete silence.

"We've got time," she retorted.

"I've always seen you like this, ever since first year," I replied. "When people used to talk behind your back about what your glamour looks like, I thought there was sort of joke that I wasn't aware of. After a while I realised that the way I saw you wasn't how everybody else saw you."

She stared at me. "That doesn't answer the question I asked, MacDougal."

"I know," I sighed. "I know, but I can't tell you why. I'm sorry, but I can't."

"That doesn't seem fair considering you know about me."

I fell silent, unsure of what to say or do considering the circumstances, particularly as I was still pinned against the wall by one of my Slytherin yearmates. The experience was becoming oddly confusing as more time passed by.

I swallowed. "I'd appreciate it, since you know I'm not threatening you, if you let go."

Millicent appeared for a moment to think about it before stepping back to give me a little room, although she didn't move too far.

"Does anyone else know?" I asked.

"No one but my father," she responded.

I was shocked. "Not even your Mum?"

"My Mum's dead," she snapped. "She died when I was ten."

"Oh I'm -" I began.

"Don't say you're sorry," Millicent interrupted. "I hate it when people say that."

"Okay," I said, observing that she wasn't making eye contact with me. "What happened?"

"She was sick," she replied. "She'd been sick for years, and after my brother moved out, she got worse. Then she died just like that in the middle of the night."

Somehow we both ended up sat on the floor just inside the changing rooms and I simply just let Millicent tell me about her mother. Her name was Gillian and before she got ill she'd worked for the Daily Prophet part-time. I was surprised when Millicent explained that her mother had worked very occasionally in the Muggle world too, doing photoshoots for magazines as Millie's grandmother had been a Muggle model.

Her maternal grandparents had met in London, her grandfather had bumped into her accidentally on his way to the Ministry. Millie's Grandma, as far as she was aware, was the only Muggle she knew, but she hadn't seen her since her mother had passed away.

All things considered Millicent seemed incredibly strong. To keep all these secrets to herself must be hard; I doubted that she'd told anyone else.

Luckily the topic of conversation shifted to something more light-hearted: Quidditch.

"The Montrose Magpies would wipe the floor with the Holyhead Harpies, Mils," I laughed as we sat cross-legged fighting over which teams were better. Whilst I was a true Magpies fan, it appeared Millicent had an undying love for the Harpies.

She scoffed. "The Harpies are having such an amazing run right now that they'd run circles around your Magpies."

"Whatever," I smirked.

"You're on the Ravenclaw team aren't you?" Millicent asked.

"Yeah, beater," I answered with one raised eyebrow.

"Who pisses you off the most?"

"Chang, oh my God, that girl can really wind everyone up," I replied, making Millie laugh. "Would you never play?"

"Oh no, I'm incredibly average at flying," she admitted. "Besides I like being a supporter."

After a whole five hours we decided to return to the castle before someone sent out a search party. We agreed to meet up in the library the next day before we split up and Millicent went up into castle alone. I followed soon after, except I went up to the Ravenclaw Common Room to lie to my friends about where I'd been all morning instead.