Warning: The author has no fondness for children, so if you're a big fan of kids, you might want to skip this fic.
Daycare Nightmare (Prince of Tennis)
By Haruka (email: haruka at ymail dot com)
The members of the Hyotei Regulars all stared in horror at their surroundings. Gakuto backed up a couple of steps, shaking his head.
"Th-This can't be right, Sensei!"
"I thought we were going to be volunteering in a soup kitchen – you know, giving out food, wiping tables?" Shishido said. The reality in front of him was much worse.
Sakaki Tarou gave him a raised eyebrow. "You thought wrong. Instead here, you'll be giving out toys and wiping noses."
Wish them away as they might, the overcrowded daycare center was still crawling with dozens of noisy, germ-ridden children. Some of them stopped to stare at the boys with empty, soulless eyes.
"We're out of here," Atobe announced. "Right, Kabaji?"
"Usu," replied his large, ever-present shadow.
Sakaki put out an arm to block their way. "You all agreed to this. The Principal wants some better publicity for the school than we've had lately, and since the tennis team was involved in that riot two weeks ago –"
"That wasn't OUR fault!" Hiyoshi protested. "We were on the court, not in the crowd!"
"Atobe INCITED the crowd," Sakaki said, looking pointedly at their captain, who gave an elegant shrug.
"I cannot control the will of others. Can I, Kabaji?"
"Usu."
Sakaki touched his fingertips to his forehead like he was getting a migraine. "Nevertheless, a commitment was made and you will fulfill it. Get in there – I'm going to speak with the director."
The boys found out that all that was required of them was to keep the children occupied. However, once the kids were set loose on the team members, it seemed more like the reverse would be happening.
A group of kids learned that Gakuto was adept at acrobatics (because he was bragging about it) and they began begging and whining for him to perform all the maneuvers in his repertoire – over, and over, and over.
One little girl stole Yuushi's glasses right off his face and ran away with them. Fortunately, they were for aesthetic purposes only, so he could still see to chase after her, but the little sneak handed them off and then it became a big game of Keepaway. He managed to collide with Gakuto, who was in the middle of his tenth backflip. Both of them crashed to the ground to much gleeful applause from the children.
Shishido was put on snack handouts and had three kids throw food and drink at him and another one vomit on his shoes. He then had the fun task of cleaning not only the shoes, but the child and the floor. All to the tune of ear-shattering wailing, which he considered chiming in on.
After trying unsuccessfully to gain a reaction from Kabaji through name-calling or rude faces, the kids decided that he must be a coatrack, shelf, or some other piece of furniture. He sat silent and unmoving as they draped their sweaters and jumpropes over his shoulders, balanced snack plates on his head, and piled storybooks and stuffed animals in his lap.
Choutarou, the only Regular who actually liked children before stepping into the room, had tried to interest them in a reading circle. One boy whacked him repeatedly in the back of the head with a hardcover book and another grabbed hold of the cross necklace he always wore and tried to strangle him with it.
Jiroh fell asleep as usual, only this time there were several kids nearby to draw, paint, glitter-glue, and otherwise decorate him from head to foot as he slept.
Hiyoshi was buried beneath seven or eight kids who decided to play 'Pile Up' on him. After he went down for the third time, any teammates who had noticed his dilemma gave him up for lost.
Captain Atobe Keigo was put on diaper duty. After no less than two baby boys urinated in his face during the process, he announced that children would be forever banned from the private island he would one day buy.
The eight teenagers looked like the walking wounded by the time they were allowed to leave, although two of them weren't technically walking at all.
"Did Gakuto-senpai hit his head when he fell?" Choutarou asked Yuushi in concern, rubbing at the chain-burns on his throat.
Through bent glasses, Yuushi glanced toward where Kabaji was carrying Gakuto over one shoulder. The still-slumbering, but much-more-colourful Jiroh lay over the other. "No, we both recovered from the crash, but those kids kept him doing flips until he finally dropped from exhaustion."
"I should sue that kid's parents for my shoes," Shishido grimaced, looking down at them. "They'll never be the same."
Hiyoshi jumped in horror. "Don't say that word!" he snapped.
"What word?" Shishido asked.
The other boy shuddered. "'Kids'! If I ever become some kind of serial killer, THAT will be the word that sets me off!"
"All I know is this," Atobe declared, "if our Principal ever gets an idea like this in his head again, I'll quit Hyotei and finance my OWN school to play tennis for."
His teammates eagerly agreed to be the first to enroll.
(2005)
Prince of Tennis belongs to Konomi Takeshi.
This fic is not to be re-posted.
