Hello, and welcome to this mess! This was a request from lkcsi since I've successfully written the final chapter of Short, and thus have nothing better to do with my life. As the name would imply, Propeller Knight becomes a queen. Rather unwillingly, at that.
"I hate you so much right now," Propeller Knight growled as he stared down at the elegant gown he currently wore. Sure, it was his favorite shade of green, but that didn't change the fact that he was standing there wearing something meant for women.
"Oh come now, it's not that bad," King Knight replied in a vain attempt to get the Frenchman to stop complaining.
"Says the guy wearing the not at all girly golden armor," Propeller Knight muttered while crossing his arms, feeling horribly awkward standing there in a woman's outfit, complete with fake breasts. "Honestly, I get that you have a bad tendency to think I'm a girl when I'm not in my usual uniform, but one look at my face immediately gives it away. Why me, by the way? Can't you just get some poor girl off the streets, dress her up fancy, and then teach her how to act like she knows what she's doing? I bet you could give some great tips, seeing as you've been faking your status this whole time."
"Hush now, before I bring harm upon you," King Knight threatened. "I chose you because I know that you can't betray me without angering the Enchantress, something that is not guaranteed with some random woman, even if I were to handpick her myself. Come along now, we need to see your makeup artist."
"I have a makeup artist?" Propeller Knight asked, staring at King Knight with a degree of contained annoyance as the usurper turned and started to walk.
"Yes, well, you were literally just commenting on how anyone with some thinking ability will look at you and realize that you are in fact male, therefore I think it would be best if you had something to hide that. Makeup is a lot less suspicious than a mask covering half your face, so I figured that it would be the better option."
Propeller Knight sighed and gave up on fighting; instead, he followed the usurper while focusing on why exactly he was in Pridemoor Keep. Sadly, all he could remember was just suddenly standing there while someone fitted him for a dress while being jokingly called 'Queen Propeller' by the man that was now acting as his soon to be husband. He had an airship to run, dammit, he shouldn't be playing dress-up like a child!
A thought suddenly came to him regarding his ship, and he spoke up. "What will we do if someone catches wind that I'm not the queen, nor even a girl, but in fact a part of the Order? You have not allowed any of my crew to be here, and I can't say I trust the competence of your guards too much."
"I know what you're doing," King Knight said, not answering the question in the slightest.
Propeller Knight frowned. "And just what is it you think I'm doing? I'm merely expressing concern because I'm not entirely sure why it is I'm even here."
King Knight glanced back at him, glaring somewhat. "You're trying to get me to allow your crew here. If anyone finds out, then you can call all of your guys. Until then, or until I no longer have need of your presence, they wait outside."
"And when will you no longer have need of me? I'm acting as your queen, I can't just leave," Propeller Knight pointed out with a snarl. "And while I trust my crew to hold down the fort for a while, I would like to eventually go and check up on them."
King Knight shrugged, uncaring of his ally's issues. "Then just order for weekly reports. You have the authority to do that, I hope you realize."
Propeller Knight shook his head in dismissal of the idea. "I look over everything myself to ensure the reports are accurate."
"You can deal," King Knight replied with a bored tone.
Snickering, Propeller Knight joked, "You know, I'm pretty sure we shouldn't be bickering until after the marriage is final."
"I thought it was after the honeymoon," King Knight questioned, deciding it best to just roll with it.
"Well, technically either of them, but I think it would be best to at least wait at least until the wedding." Propeller Knight paused and then hung his head. "Oh no, I'm going to get married!" He sped up his pace until he was in front of King Knight, at which point he spun around and stopped, jabbing a finger at the other man's face. "If you ask for me to do anything even vaguely-"
King Knight cut him off with a raised finger requesting silence. Begrudgingly, the Frenchman did so.
King Knight was honestly surprised at how quickly the man shut up, but didn't miss a beat and said, "I get it; you'll find a way to beat me into a bloody pulp with your bare fists if I ask you to do this or that." Suddenly, he went from understanding to controlling. "News flash, though, I'm the one in control here, if I tell you to get down on your hands and knees and squeal like a pig, you'd better do it!"
"Or what?" Propeller Knight snarled.
"You'll just have to find that one out for yourself now won't you? It could be anything from handing you over to Specter Knight and letting him do whatever it is he so desires, or a stay in the dungeon, or whatever else I can think of. I believe Plague Knight, even if he is a traitor, wouldn't mind having a new test subject."
Propeller Knight raised an eyebrow at the first idea. "I think Specter Knight hates you far more than he hates me."
King Knight did not appear overly concerned by this as he asked, "Yeah, so?"
"So, it would a cinch to get him to hurt you instead."
"Oh, it wouldn't be that hard to bribe him so he wouldn't harm me."
"Yes, but I could bribe him with twice as much of whatever you'd give him!"
"So you have a dungeon full of human sacrifices?"
"What, no, that's evil!"
"You say that, and yet you are a part of the Order of No Quarter, of which is consistently called the most wicked organization in the past hundred years or so."
"I never said I wanted to be a part of your little group."
"Fair, but you are still a part of us; therefore you need to stop whining."
Propeller Knight huffed, which King Knight took as a sign that the conversation was over, and so he continued his walk.
As Propeller Knight followed, he asked, "Were we seriously just talking about bribing Specter Knight?"
King Knight nodded. "I believe we were."
"He would no doubt maul us if he heard that."
"Yeah, most likely."
"Oh, aren't you starting to actually look like a girl!" King Knight smiled as he watched a man put on Propeller Knight's makeup.
Said Frenchman had his arms crossed and a scowl on his face despite every attempt made to get him to loosen up. "I will repeat myself until I get the point across: I hate you so much right now."
"Okay, you seriously need to stop your whining."
Propeller Knight sighed and glared at King Knight. "So, as long as I'm stuck in this chair, mind reminding me why I'm here? I honestly can't seem to remember."
"You're kidding me, right?" King Knight did not get a response. "Why did you even come here then?"
"I'm still figuring that out for myself. Wait…" Propeller Knight suddenly remembered something important and he nearly jumped out of his seat in an attempt to strangle the false king. "You kidnapped me!"
King Knight raised an eyebrow, mildly surprised. "That took you long enough."
"Yeah, only because you gave me a concussion when you bashed me on the back of the skull! And why even ask me why I came here then?"
King Knight proceeded to completely ignore the question. "That wasn't me."
"Sure it wasn't."
"No, I just sent some troops to… retrieve you. Apparently that means knocking you unconscious."
"You didn't tell them specifically to kidnap me?"
"Nope."
"And they did it anyway."
"Yep."
"And you didn't complain?"
"Actually, I sent them to the dungeon."
"Oh, how… oddly kind of you."
"I actually just got reason to suspect that they were part of the rebel force halfway into their mission."
"And you didn't just decide to keep tabs on them? And the only ones you suspected were the ones sent to get me?"
"Nah, there were five others."
"Oh. How lovely."
"U-um, sir, can you please stop talking?" The man attempting to make Propeller Knight's face appear more feminine requested. "You're making it really hard to put on your makeup."
Propeller Knight promptly closed his mouth, somewhat glad that he no longer had to converse with King Knight. He wondered why he ever allowed himself to talk to the other man; it only ended with him annoyed and/or very, very confused.
"Ah, you sure make a lovely woman," King Knight said.
Propeller Knight began to wonder if this was all just an elaborate scheme to irk him.
"I'm glad I chose you for the job."
Yes. It must be.
"You make a much better girl than any female that I've ever seen."
No doubt about it.
"Of course, we do have to take into account that you're running up against people like Plague Knight's assistant."
He was going to pay.
"I don't know why, but she gives me the creeps."
Dearly.
"I think it's the bored gaze of hers."
"Would you shut up?!" Propeller Knight yelled, jumping out of his seat. Rather unfortunately, he chose the exact wrong moment to perform these actions, as the man putting on his makeup had been halfway through applying lipstick. Somehow it swiped across his tongue, and while it didn't necessarily taste like anything in particular, it was still not pleasant. In addition to this, it then drew a red trail on his chin.
Propeller Knight's eyes twitched in anger. King Knight's eyes, on the other hand, widened in fear. Wisely, he turned and bolted from the room, shouting at any nearby guards to restrain the enraged Frenchman before he could maul anyone, specifically him.
"Get back here!" Propeller Knight shouted, completely and utterly fed up with what's happened to him.
He attempted to run, but quickly realized why it is that you don't see a whole lot of women sprinting about in dresses. He immediately almost faceplanted when he stepped on the fabric. Luckily, he managed to regain his balance just in time to get bowled over by a rather burly guard wearing some very heavy armor.
"Ow," he whimpered.
(Down somewhere pretty much completely unrelated)
Shovel Knight frowned.
"You know…" he whispered to himself. "I was going to challenge King Knight today, but… I get the impression, for some odd reason I don't understand, that someone else is going to beat him up for me."
The blue clad warrior shrugged.
"Ah, well, off to re-kill Specter Knight then, I suppose."
(And now for something far more related)
"Has anyone seen the captain lately?"
This was a question that Albrecht had heard far too many times within the past hour or so. It was really starting to grate on his nerves.
By this point the German was getting extremely worried. Sure, his friend was a tad off, but that didn't mean that if he was going to disappear for a solid hour he wouldn't tell at least one person. But that's what had happened. The Flying Machine's captain had simply up and left and never returned.
Albrecht had already sent everyone he ran into who wasn't doing something particularly pressing to go search the area. Thus far, everyone had come back with bad news. He wasn't in his quarters, the cafeteria, the engine room, and obviously not the main deck.
"Hey, has anyone seen the captain lately?"
Albrecht twitched dangerous, and the poor Hoverhaft who just asked an innocent question took a step back. "No," he answered simply. He pointed in a random direction, towards some plains. "Go search over there."
The commanded crew member nodded and followed directions without complaint, much to Albrecht's relief.
Deciding that he was through with this nonsense, he called for a meeting. Within a couple minutes, he had the whole crew gathered in front of him. Most them, while waiting for everyone else to assemble, talked amongst themselves, mostly about the fact that no one had seen Propeller Knight in a good long time.
When he was sure that the whole crew stood in front of him, he motioned for silence, of which was quickly granted.
Clearing his throat, he spoke loudly to the mass. "I'm sure you've realized by now, the majority of you, that our captain has disappeared seemingly into thin air. I have no clue where he is either."
This did not help matters, it seemed. Not that Albrecht was particularly surprised.
"Thusly, I want all of you to go out and search for him. I want you to look on, under, and around every single object present in the valley. I'm serious."
A hand was rather meekly raised, and Albrecht pointed to it. It lowered itself and the owner spoke. "Uh, not to say I'm not determined to find the captain, but 'every single object' would imply every speck of dirt. And if one were to look under that speck, they would find another, which they would then have to look under as well. Can you see where I'm going with this?"
Albrecht stared at the person who said this, utterly dumbfounded. "Are you being a smartass with me?"
"No, I'm just pointing out a flaw in your plan."
Albrecht frowned. "Okay, how about this, anything half his body size or larger. That better?"
"Much," was the reply.
Nodding, he said, "Good, now get out there. If you need me, I'll be in the Lich Yard."
Everyone stared at him like he lost his mind.
"Oh, like you're going to do it!" He snapped. "Now go on if there are no more questions!"
"Question!" Someone yelled, resulting in a groan from the German.
"Yes?" He asked.
"Where will you be if you don't find him there?"
"By then, the sun will have gone down, so I'll be back here, either sleeping or staring at a map."
"And if Specter Knight doesn't allow you entrance?"
"Then I'll force my way in!"
Albrecht was met with silence, so he decided he would try to once again send out the troops. That is, until: "Question!"
"What?!"
"Who's going to search the Enchantress' tower? I mean, he might be there."
"I'm tempted to say you. However, because I know Propeller Knight would undoubtedly be very cross with me for that, I'll do it tomorrow. Now go, I don't want any more questions! The more time we spend sitting about here, the more time is wasted that we could be using to search. Move it!"
Luckily, there were no more questions to be had, and the entire crew flew out in a large wave that managed to blot out the sun momentarily for some very unfortunate people who happened to live below.
(And now once again somewhere incredibly unrelated)
Enchantress' log: Entry 713178247192375483294isdhaknclkaenrgnaerf fuck it, why am I even trying to keep track anymore?
Today I learned something I should have figured out a good long time ago. My knights are idiots! I seriously didn't even know I had to breathe until I have to stop and catch my breath because I was laughing so hard at the utter stupidity that I happened to tune into at the exact correct moment.
I fail to see the reasoning behind King attempting to drag a queen into his failed rule, especially Propeller of all people. In the beginning, it makes sense. But when you get down to it, it really doesn't do anything, since it's not like anyone likes him anyway. Having a wife around will do absolutely nothing for him. Especially when that 'wife' is actually a guy who is very clearly ticked off at him.
I should intervene. I know I should. I simply cannot allow this hideous lack of thought to bring about my downfall. Propeller is not taking care of his ship, and it seems that his crew is going to leave it unattended until they find him, and that means one less knight and his minions to deal with for any opposing forces like my host's partner. Not to mention that he is nothing short of defenseless in that ridiculous clothing. I don't think he's been allowed even a simple dagger, and even if he was, there's no place to keep it. He's pretty much a free kill, and I want as many barricades as possible, even though I could wipe out whoever I want, whenever I want. Far easier on my end.
I'll admit, though, I am morbidly curious to see how this plays out, similar to my feelings on Plague's attempt at power. If nothing else, I desire to see the German subordinate get his ass kicked in by Specter.
Now that my thoughts are on my traitorous alchemist, he's going to be fighting King for his essence soon. I wonder how that will go down. I'd best tune into that and hope I don't miss the ensuring fiasco.
(Back to the first setting now)
Plague Knight stared, mouth agape in utter confusion. Before him was his target, King Knight, who was on the ground and somehow struggling to push off the dainty man on top of him. Oh, and that elegant man happened to be Propeller Knight, who was wearing a dress and had lipstick on his chin, as well as fake eyelashes, and eye shadow, and just about every other makeup technique fancy nobles liked to employ.
A second later, a guard appeared and threw himself at Propeller Knight, sending him crashing to the floor. Strangely, in response to this, the Frenchman yelled "Again?!"
Unable to fully comprehend what exactly was going on here, Plague Knight found himself giggling. "Oh boy," he laughed, "Mona is not going to believe this one!"
Seeing as he was being completely ignored, the alchemist snuck forward, stealing King Knight's essence first. Not a single person noticed. Next, he slipped towards the pissed Frenchman. This time, he was noticed and barely avoided being thrown to the ground by a guard.
"Whoa! That took you long enough!" He shouted. "I've been raiding this place for the past five minutes! You had quite the impressive treasury, Kingy." He laughed when there another attempted assault, of which was very easily dodged.
He jumped over to Propeller Knight, snatching away his essence, while King Knight realized something important. "Wait a second, that was past tense."
"I'll just be taking this," he told Propeller Knight before he looked to King Knight with an unseen shit eating grin on his face. "Ha, Good job, tomorrow we teach you cart."
King Knight's face contorted in confusion briefly before he snapped out of his stupor when Plague Knight turned and ran. "Stop! Dammit, security, what the fuck were you doing to let him in here! After him!"
The guards took off immediately, not wanting to annoy him with the knowledge that it was him who called them away from their posts because he was afraid of his angry soon to be somehow male wife.
Naturally, Plague Knight was not caught.
No one was happy that day besides the alchemist, his partner, and the Enchantress.
I'm sorry it jumped perspectives a lot. lkcsi wanted me to show two sides of the issue, one from Propeller Knight's, and one from his German friend from her fic. From there, I ended up adding in Shovel Knight as a minor joke to make it flow a little better into how the airship's crew was dealing with the situation, and then for fun I threw in the Enchantress. lkcsi joked about it being a journal, with that exact number and letters, and I thought that was fucking hilarious, so there you go.
For those who think it's weird for her to not add 'Knight' to their names, let's face it, you would get annoyed writing 'Knight' all the time as well. There's a damn good reason I'm happy Mona calls Plague Knight 'Plaguey' (well, besides the fact that it's adorable).
As a side note, because Plague Knight plays such a minor role, I figured I'd try to write his dialogue a little closer to his canon's. I think it turned out rather okay.
