A/N: Hey guys! So this one's straight up Dantana, and you should keep in mind that I'm basically pretending that everything after Trio doesn't happen. We good?
We good.
Once again, I need to thank my wonderful beta reader, Tasteless Rain. You should totally read her story Stay, it's ace.
Also, no chapter titles in this one, mostly cause they don't really fit and there's absolutely no character death in this story, so we can rejoice that quietly, can't we?
Have fun, guys!
It was late. You can tell, because your girlfriend is fast asleep, and she always stays up too late. You release a shaky breath you didn't realize you were holding and resign yourself to two things. The first being that if you are up so late your girlfriend has fallen asleep, then it's time to start calling it too early. The second is that you never want to stay up this late again, because you think too much at this hour of the morning. There's too much on your mind at the moment for you to let yourself get lost in the silence like you can in the small hours of the morning. You look down at your girlfriend for a moment and smile softly; she's so adorable when she's asleep. She's curled into your side and her head is resting on your chest, and that could be uncomfortable if it wasn't still cold this time of year, but seeing as it is, her warmth is welcome to you. She has her hair thrown into a messy bun, half in place and half sprawling across her pillow. Her legs are tangled with yours and her laptop is off in the other corner of the bed, discarded for the night. Yours is somewhere in the living room, long forgotten to you. You look out of your window for a moment and distantly inspect the fantastic view of a brick wall you have from the bedroom window on your right. At some point you stop actively thinking and instead start examining each brick separately for and traces of grime or graffiti. After a moment you realise how repulsive the wall is and instead resume the action of observing your girlfriend. She had dyed her hair black the previous weekend, and you are still getting used to her roots being the same colour as the rest of her hair. You think she's more beautiful each time she dyes her hair. You've seen it pink and blue, and blonde with various different colours in the tips. You've seen it red as well, and you've seen her through all of the colours more than once. And somehow, each time she comes back from the hairdresser with an innocent smile on her face and slight anxiety in her dark brown eyes, you can only grin and kiss her with everything you have. By the time you pull away the anxiety is gone and she doesn't care what anyone else thinks.
Your gaze trails down from her hair, and catches on the blue feather tattooed behind her ear. You can only half see it, partly because of the angle you're looking from, and partly because of how dark it is in the room. In fact, you think you can really only see it because you know that it's there at all. You look further down her back and you can see part of the lyric inked onto her shoulder blade, he white singlet leaving it in view. You draw you eyes down her arm and contemplate her hand for a moment, the way it's gripping the bottom of your shirt in her sleep. You know the word 'stay' is hiding on the inside of that wrist, pressing into your shirt. You ponder that for a moment. It could, after all, be seen as some sort of symbolic proof of… Something. You're too tired to be able to decipher what it means, so you decide that it means nothing significant for now.
You were thinking about the letter you received that morning. It was an invitation to the William McKinley Class Of 2012 two-year reunion, and when Dani had tossed it to you over your breakfast, you chose to blatantly ignore it. You hadn't heard from anyone other than Quinn in months, and you didn't want to think about it. But now you're awake and you have no distraction, and the only thing that's stopping you from tossing and turning in a more literal sense is the girl who is holding you still in her arms.
Still watching the way Dani's hand flinched randomly, holding your shirt tighter, you allow yourself to think about the conversation you had with Quinn nearly five hours ago.
"What is it, Q?" You snap. It was the third damn time she's called you in the last ten minutes and you are trying to watch a rom-com with your girlfriend, dammit. This had better be good.
"Hiya Quinn! How are you tonight? What could possibly be so important as to make you call me at ten o'clock at night even though you know I'm probably trying to get it on as we speak? Oh, Santana, I'm so glad you asked!"
"Get to the fucking point, Tubbers. This movie isn't going to watch itself." You ignore her mocking tone and drive her back to the fastest way out of this stupid conversation.
"Whatever, Satan. Did you get your letter?"
"What letter?"
"The invitation." Quinn's voice garbles through your phone and you can't hide the way you freeze from Dani, who is sitting with her head in your lap. She looks up at you and mouths 'What is it?'. You shake your head and gesture for her to sit up so you can get to your feet. She obliges you and even moves into the bedroom to give you some room. You want to smile at how she knows you like to pace around when you're on the phone, but you choose to focus on Quinn instead.
"Yeah, I got it." You answer. "Why?"
"You know B's going to be there."
"I do." You murmur. "Does it matter?" You walk out onto the balcony and shiver at the cold air, briefly wishing Dani was there to keep you warm.
"Why don't you tell me?"
Five hours on, you still aren't sure whether it matters or not. Part of you feels like it should matter, like going back and seeing your high school sweetheart is going to be some sort of climax event. You frown bitterly, because the other part of you is adamant that you have moved on. You look back down at your girlfriend and smile softly. You can't see her face at this angle but you run your fingers through her hair and she stirs slightly.
"Maybe if you were lying down properly you'd be able to go to sleep." She mumbles into you collarbone. You feel the vibrations all the way up your neck and chuckle.
"Lift your head and let me lie down then." You say. She grunts in disapproval.
"You aren't pegging your insomnia on me."
"But I can't lie down until you lift your head."
"I'm not lifting my head until you agree to not blame this on me in the morning."
"Dani." Your voice has a mildly reprimanding tone to it, which she matches even in her state between sleep and consciousness.
"Santana."
"Okay, okay, fine. Now move your head!" You can't help but laugh, she's so adorable when she's like this. You know she won't remember a lick of it in the morning. She shifts slightly and you slip down so you're lying horizontally and you roll over so you're facing her and you laugh at her dissatisfied facial expression.
"What's wrong, baby?" You giggle. She scrunches her face up for a moment before she answers.
"I'm waking up." She opens her eyes and blinks blearily for a moment. She smiles softly as her vision focuses and you can't help but smile back.
"But it's not all bad, I guess." She smirks.
You two are so sickeningly in love.
But you're still worried about the reunion. And she notices that, relinquishing her tight hold of your shirt to run her thumb over your forehead. You realize that she's frowning to match yours and you immediately feel the urge to kiss her worries away.
"What's wrong?" She asks, concern laced in her words and her features. You swallow and shrug.
"It's the reunion, isn't it?" She whispers, and you recognize the way her voice doesn't crack because she's not letting it, and the way her thumb draws away from where it had come to rest on your cheek. Fear doesn't reach the surface of her eyes, but you know how to find it swirling around in the depths of the chocolate brown, hiding but not non-existent.
"I'm not afraid of seeing her and wanting to leap into her arms, Dani." You say. She looks doubtful, so you elaborate your point.
"I'm afraid of telling her that I don't want to." Your voice gets softer the further along you get in your sentence until you could barely decipher whether the words had left your mouth or not yourself, and Dani bites her lip in understanding.
You collapse onto the couch and groan loudly, only partially resisting the urge you throw your phone at the opposite wall. It lands on the reclining chair that's over to your right, facing away from the balcony. The muffled guitar chords in the next room pause for a moment and you bury your face into a cushion as you listen to your girlfriend putting her guitar away when you hear your phone begin to vibrate again.
"Oh my god, stop calling me already!" You almost scream with exasperation. You pull your face out of the cushion to make sure it isn't Quinn or someone you actually feel like talking to. You see your phone sitting up with the screen blaring at you, a picture of Brittany flashing brightly, beckoning for you to answer the call. You screech quietly and force your face back into the pillow. You hear Dani's footsteps come into the living room and for a moment you expect her to come and make you feel better but her steps move over to the recliner.
"Hello, Brittany." Her voices rings through your ears and you feel your stomach drop as you throw yourself into an upright position and look at Dani. She puts her hand out to shush you even as you open your mouth and you hesitate before you grumble and fold your arms in front of your chest.
"Mmhm. San's pretty busy at the moment." Dani looks at you and arches her eyebrow, asking if you want her to put the speaker on. Your eyebrows draw together in anger as you nod vigorously and her eyebrow only arches further.
"Yeah, she is at work actually. She left her phone at home." She glances at the clock on the wall and back at you. You force the scowl off of your face and give her a pleading look, which she smirks at for a moment before she pulls the phone away from her ear and turns the loudspeaker on, and keeps speaking.
"No, don't call her at work, Brittany." She nearly sighs and you know that she's only containing her exasperation for your sake.
"Hey, if her phone was at home then why didn't you answer it sooner?"
"Because I also have a job, Brittany. And she left her phone on silent, I only noticed you'd called just now."
"Can you leave her a message for me?" Dani looks at you and you shrug.
"Yeah, I don't see why not. I can't say when it'll get to her, though."
"Can you tell her that she and I need to have a serious talk?" Brittany's voice sounds possessive and perhaps even slightly indignant to you, and you can feel yourself getting angry at the way she's talking to your girlfriend. Dani looks at you for a moment before she answers.
"Look, Brittany, I get that you want to talk to her, but she's still my girlfriend, and I don't think either of us want to discontinue our relationship any time soon. I'll pass the message along to her because you're her best friend and I'd be wrong not to, but… Just, please, leave us alone. Leave her alone. What you're doing is borderline harassment, and while San won't take action, I can't promise that I won't."
"Just because she's with you now doesn't mean she won't come home when she's done." Brittany answers and you narrow your eyes. "I'm okay with San dating you because she let me date Sam, but she'll come back to me in the end. And I'm only telling you this because she really likes you, which means I have to be nice to you, and I wanted to give you a chance to prepare yourself for her leaving you for me." Dani's knuckles are white around your phone and she answers with a short, "I'll let her know you wanted to talk to her, Brittany, but don't expect too much from my girlfriend." And then she hangs up without so much as a goodbye and drops the phone back onto the recliner like it was burning her skin.
"Dani…" You say, carefully. Dani looks at you, and you expect anger or resentment but you get fear and hurt instead, and you're frozen for a moment while she looks at you with tears welling in her eyes, and then her arms are crossing in front of her chest and she's retreating into your bedroom.
"I promised you then, didn't I?" You speak softly, finding her hand in the dark and linking your fingers together. Her wrist brushes against yours and again you're struck with the idea of the 'stay' pressing against your skin. Dani doesn't answer, so you keep talking.
"I promised you then, I'm staying here." The word stay echoes around your mind. "And, god forbid, if I leave, it won't be to go to her. I'm-" You hesitate and immediately know it was the wrong thing to do. "I'm done with her, you hear me?" You bite your lip, thinking about how to fix your blunder. "Dani, I love you."
"You used to love her as well, though." Dani whispers. You shake your head, and it's awkward because of the pillow and you get hair all over your face, which she brushes out of the way reflexively, chuckling despite herself.
"I used to, Dan. But not anymore. I stopped that day."
You follow after her as soon as you come to your senses and she virtually slams the bedroom door in your face. You can hear her crying and the sound breaks your heart.
"Dani…" You call through the door, resting your arm against it up above your head, daring to press your forehead against the wood.
"Go away." Her words are weak, fragile. Just like she is right now.
"You're only saying that because you want the opposite." You say. "Baby, please let me in." There's a moment of silence and you open your mouth to speak again when the door opens inwards and you nearly fall on top of her, but you don't because her eyes are red and her blonde hair looks lifeless and you want to bundle her up in a hug and protect her from all her woes, but you know she wants space, even if only for a little longer and you're going to respect that.
"What if she's right?"
"She isn't."
"She's known you for longer than I have, though, she knows you better."
"No, Dani, she doesn't. She knew me, sure, but no one knows me now like you do. You and Quinn, at least." You watch her face crumple as she finally falls into your arms, and you hold her close while she sobs.
"I'm going to get a new phone number tomorrow, okay? And she won't bother us anymore, and I won't think about her again. I promise. Because you know who I love?" You whisper the words into her ear and let her pull away slightly to rest her forehead against yours.
"Who do you love?" She sounds so innocent as she asks and you can't help but peck her on the lips before you answer.
"You, Dan. I love you."
That was four months ago, and it was a pivotal night in your relationship with Dani. You and Brittany had been on good terms, but she was persistent. She was so persistent, in fact, that she had been calling you once every two or three days at that point, asking you to come down to MIT, asking if she could come up to New York so you could talk about your relationship, and it was killing you, because you had been in this amazing place with Dani. You had just moved in together, and it was like as soon as you had settled down, Brittany caught wind of it and realized that she was losing you.
But she wasn't losing you, because you didn't belong to her anymore. And you hadn't for a while either, but it was only now, four months down the track, that you were finding yourself able to say the words. You, Santana Lopez, are not in love with Brittany S. Peirce. But knowing it and being able to say it out loud are two different things, and you could tell that Dani was getting fed up with you not being able to say it without sounding like you were breaking at the same time.
Which is why she's still frowning at you at quarter past three on the morning after you got the invitation to the William McKinley Class of 2012 two-year reunion. You know you're going to have to resort to desperate measures now.
"Dani…" You whine. "You know how hard it is for me to… You know. Be vocal about stuff that's personal." Normally you would feel humiliated to plead like this, but she knows what you're talking about. Her eyes harden and you have to correct that thought to hoping she knows what you're talking about, and then her eyes soften in realization.
"The sin isn't in the action…" She trails off.
"It's in the scandal when people talk about it." You finish for her and do your best to swallow the lump in your throat. She pulls her hand from yours and rests it on your cheek, running her thumb over a stray tear.
"I'm sorry, San." She says. You nudge her hand away from your cheek and tap the tip of your nose against hers.
"I don't want to talk about that right now." You say. "Who do I love?"
"Who do you love, Santana?" She answers, her brown eyes sparkling with mischief. You press a sound kiss to her lips before you answer.
"You, Dan. It's always going to be you."
"Why don't you tell me?" Quinn's voice jumps through the phone and you glance back into the apartment before you answer.
"It does but not for… Not for that reason."
"Britt's been really worried about you, you know. She's been trying to track down your new phone number for ages."
"Does she know you have my number?"
"No. If she did she would've gotten it from me by now, you know how persuasive she can get."
"She's impossible to say no to, I know. That's sort of the problem I'm facing."
"Do you miss her?" Quinn's question shakes you to the bone and you turn around to face away from the street below where you're pretty sure someone's about to start a fight.
"I do." You say. "I miss my best friend. I miss us being the Unholy Trinity. But I don't miss being with her." You look up to the sound of your bedroom door opening and watch Dani walk through the living room to the kitchen, through the glass doors that lead to the balcony. You observe Dani busying herself in the kitchen, putting the kettle on and pulling out two mugs, putting a teabag in one and pulling out a packet of hot chocolate for the other. She sits on the counter behind her and starts swinging her legs, waiting for the kettle to boil.
"Earth to Satan! Did you hear a single word I said just then?"
"I was very busy watching my girlfriend do household activities." You mumble. "What did you say?"
"I said you can't let Brittany keep going like this. You're coming to the reunion, aren't you?"
"Yeah."
"Are you bringing Dani?"
"I don't know."
"You have to tell Britt."
"I will." You feel like she's mothering you, which is why you're shutting her down. You hear her sigh deeply and you can almost see the way she's pinching the bridge of her nose in exasperation.
"San, are you sure about this?"
"About what?" Your eyes are still on Dani sitting in the kitchen, and you can see her lips moving and you know she's singing.
"Are you sure you want Dani more than Britt?" Quinn asks. You watch Dani for a moment longer, and nod to yourself.
"Definitely." You smile. There's a shout on the street below you so you give Quinn a short farewell and go inside, just in time to hear the kettle boil. You can hear her singing now, so you shut the balcony door behind you as quietly as you can and sneak up behind her. She's so engrossed in making the drinks that she doesn't notice you, and you grin before you wrap your arms around her and press your front against her back. You laugh when she flinches.
"San! That was mean!"
"You're cute, babe. Are we gonna finish this movie?" You take the moment to bury your nose into the crook of her shoulder. "I love your hair."
"What was that?" She says, finishing making the drinks. You kiss her shoulder before you answer.
"I love your hair."
"I know." She smirks and turns around with the drinks in her hands, and she holds out the hot chocolate to you. "Now let's finish the movie." You take the mug into you hands and follow her back to the couch.
"I know." She smirks and you have to fight the urge to kiss her senseless yet again when she beats you to the punch and presses her lips to yours. You hum in approval and kiss her back for a moment before she pulls away and taps you on the nose. "Now get to sleep, it's already been Saturday for hours and I've been looking forward to our lazy day all week."
"Alright." You yawn and shut your eyes, and no sooner than you have done so, you fall asleep.
A/N: There it is guys! Look at all that fluff! Fluffy fluffy fluff.
Be sure to let me know what you think!
P.S. I'm still in the process or writing this so expect updates to be really irregular, sorry about that.
