Engaged in the obviously futile effort of staring at the fridge in hopes of spontaneous restockage, Shinji Ikari was contemplating leaving his apartment.
He tilted his head over to the door lazily. He was still underneath the covers of his futon, and had little desire to budge.
Outside laid in wait.
It would be a fairly monumental occasion for the young man, as it was still daytime. This fact wasn't immediately obvious with the heavy curtains smothering the window, but the small amount of natural light seeping through the slit between them was indicative enough; this wasn't his time to venture out.
But he had to, really. It was either brave the gazes of strangers going about their day, or wait some hours until the streets emptied to a satisfying degree. With his hunger getting increasingly bad with each passing minute, however, the latter option didn't seem quite feasible.
"Why didn't I just go to the convenience store last night?" Shinji complained to himself, pulling the covers over his head.
He knew the answer, of course. He had been gaming all of yesterday, neglecting practically every worldly concern other than relieving his bladder.
He had some dignity left, after all.
Throwing the covers off in frustration, Shinji forced himself upwards. The sudden motion left him feeling lightheaded.
"It'll be over before I know it." Shinji rationalized aloud, rubbing his eyes. "The store is just down the street."
Getting up, Shinji grabbed some jeans out of the pile of dirty clothing next to his bed. The boy knew the stained clothing would only draw more attention, but he lacked another option. Laundry hadn't been on his mind for weeks.
Walking towards the door, Shinji couldn't help but hesitate before stepping into the cramped entrance way. He stretched, as if to free his muscles of restraint. He took a deep breath, stepped down and slipped on his shoes.
Hand on the doorknob, Shinji froze in realization.
"Almost forgot..."
Retreating back into the apartment, he retrieved a cassette player from under the covers. The headphones got caught in the blanket as he picked it up, and Shinji sighed heavily; it was little things that really got under his skin. In fact, the steps back into the room left him feeling defeated, and his thoughts urged him to crawl back into bed. His stomach had other plans, though.
The short walk back to the entryway felt laborious, but in the end Shinji managed to open the door, though not before putting on a baseball cap for good measure.
"Eyes down, walk brisk. Don't be weird." Shinji muttered a bitter reminder to himself, pulling the brim of the hat down.
Stepping outside, the harsh sun wasted no time beating down on him relentlessly, as if to make him feel unwelcomed. But with his gaze squarely on the ground, j-pop music blasting, Shinji had formed an effective barrier between him and the outside world. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he began walking down the apartment complex's shared balcony. The two story building was fairly small, outdated and unremarkable, but the rent was reasonable and that was what mattered to Shinji most at this point.
Barely having taken three steps towards the stairs that led below, Shinji's music-fueled trance was broken as he bumped into someone, and he stumbled forward roughly. Perhaps it was bound to happen, with the withdrawn way he was carrying himself, but even Shinji was surprised how quickly things had gone awry.
Looking up properly, Shinji made eye contact with a stunningly beautiful woman in a yellow sundress. Her blue eyes and red hair clearly posited that she was foreign, and it threw Shinji for a loop when he went to apologize.
"I-I'm... ah..." Shinji began, stumbling over his words.
As if social interaction wasn't already enough of a problem for him, he now found himself speechless in face of the girl's angered expression.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" The woman cut him off, pushing him away. "Watch where you're going, dumbass!"
"I..." Shinji whispered out, shaking slightly from the rough contact. "Uh... I-I'm..."
"What?" She asked in a mocking tone. "Speak up!"
"Take it easy, Asuka. You're scaring the poor guy..." A deeper voiced pleaded, pulling Shinji's attention elsewhere.
There was a man as well, leaning against the door of the room next to Shinji's. He was tall, and older than either Shinji or the girl. His dark brown hair was messily tied into a short ponytail, and he had a patchy, unkempt beard.
In stark contrast to the venomous gaze of the redhead, his eyes were much more gentle and apologetic.
"Sorry about my friend here, she's having a bit of a bad day." The man continued, turning a calming gaze to Shinji, smiling. "Are you alright? You look a bit pale."
"Uh..."Shinji replied, or attempted to, rather.
The redhead sighed, and rolled her eyes. "Jeez... what are you, mute? You just gonna stand there and stare?"
Shinji's stomach sunk, frozen in complete anxiety and fear. The girls blue eyes were stunning and sharp like her words, and rendered him completely silent.
Why did I leave the apartment? Why?
Turning on a dime, he started walking back towards the familiarity of his room.
"Hey! Where are you going? What are you, an idiot?" The girl called out to Shinji, causing him to freeze up. "Just apologize! It's not hard!"
"Leave him alone, Asuka." The man urged her, now more stern. "Let's talk, alright?"
"Ohh, so now you want to talk?" The girl turned back to the man stiffly. "Then talk! Tell me the truth. Who's the girl?"
"I've been telling you the truth... there's no girl."
"Then let me inside!"
Shinji turned back to the man, and they met eyes. The man smiled, and quietly urged him away with a subtle gesture.
Slipping away, Shinji opened the door of his apartment. Though trying to be quiet, the squeaking of the door recaptured the girl's attention.
"Yeah, just run away..." She chuckled. "Coward."
Something snapped in Shinji's mind at the accusation. His withheld anxiety boiled over in perhaps the most uncouth moment of his life.
"I'm... I'm sorry!" He said, gripping the doorknob tightly.
"Wow! Would you look at that? Was that so hard?" The girl laughed.
"...angry foreigner bitch."
A phrase, intended to be muttered only under the most sheltered of breaths, was spoken more than audibly in a unfortunate moment of transparency.
...and with that phrase, despite the shrill shouting and insults that attempted to follow him, Shinji slammed the door of this apartment.
It was only once Shinji was back inside of his apartment, that he once again remembered why it was that he left. Perhaps in his abject terror the hunger had subsided, but now that he was once again alone with his thoughts, and appetite, he felt it return with a vengeance.
Of course, with his less than polite exit from the world, Shinji was not prepared to return back out. Not that he was to begin with, anyway.
This always happens...I should have known.
Shinji was a hikikomori, and had been for over a year. Even if hunger could force his hand and make him venture out, the young man knew what cards he held. Once a person severs ties with society, it was hard to integrate back in.
With girls like that walking around... What chance do I have?
Slipping back into the comfort of his futon, Shinji waited stubbornly for the hunger to subside. The shouting outside his door, having continued for some time, had subsided by now. It had been replaced with a muffled conversation coming from inside next door. Shinji could tell from the tones that the redhead was not involved, though. The walls were thin enough to tell that much, at least. Nothing else could be deciphered from the talking, however, short of Shinji pressing his ear against the wall.
It was something Shinji had ashamedly considered. He was curious, after all. The apartment unit next to his had been vacant for almost a year, since his friend Kensuke had moved out. That loss, amongst a plethora of other things, were the cause of Shinji's current withdrawn state. Dropping out of school, without a job, no friends...
Ah, what do I care? I've hit rock bottom.
Shinji crawled over to the wall, taking the blanket with him for comfort. Pressing his ear against the wall, he listened in.
That's the guy outside talking... Shinji thought. The other one I don't know, though. Definitely a girl, but too quiet and soft to be the foreign girl, for sure.
In the end, Shinji figured it to be a lovers' spat. Crawling back to his bed, Shinji sat down in a thinking position.
The redhead must've figured out about the other girl inside, and that's why the guy was blocking the door like that... he must be pretty slick to be two-timing; with a foreign beauty like that, too.
Part of him wanted to feel disgusted with the man, but the fact that he was so nice earlier made him withhold judgment. If it wasn't for him, Shinji had a feeling he'd still be outside getting chewed out by the redhead.
It's like I just stumbled upon one of those TV dramas...Shinji chuckled to himself. Regardless, I'll have to thank him later. We could even be friends. Who knows, he's older, mature... maybe he could... help me get back on my feet.
The wishful thinking made Shinji disgusted with himself. He was past help, he knew that.
At the very least, all the thinking had distracted him. His hunger had finally quieted down to a dull ache. Falling backwards onto his futon, Shinji did his best to drift off to sleep.
It was only after the sun had gone down that Shinji dared go back outside. Usually he'd wait until past midnight, but by this point he felt like he was practically starving. Shuffling like a zombie over to the convenience store, Shinji finally got ahold of some food. He also bought some beer, with hopes of giving it to his new neighbor as thanks.
And if I chicken out, I can always just drink it myself... Shinji thought, as he walked down the appropriately emptied streets. Though made anxious by the occasional passer-by, the context of night made people considerably less social, at least in a residential area like this.
As per his routine, Shinji made his way over to a nearby park where he enjoyed eating. For some reason, the atmosphere of nature made the convenience store food taste better, if only a bit.
And so, Shinji sat on a bench and ate hungrily. At first it was quite relaxing, but soon enough he remembered where exactly he was. Students from the nearby university started walking by in small-to-large groups. Many were talking animatedly, happily. The sight made Shinji feel horrible.
Night classes must have ended... Shinji thought with dread, double-checking his pants for his cassette player. I have to go... too many people. Too many students.
Walking over to a nearby garbage can, Shinji threw away the foods packaging. Sighing heavily, he turned around to make his escape. But instead of the clear path to sweet solitude that he envisioned, upon turning around he was met with an all-to-familiar face.
It was the redheaded girl. Though Shinji noted some differences; she was wearing a fashionable overcoat, though with the same sundress undernaeth as earlier. She was wearing glasses too, and clutching a bag with the university's insignia, cluing Shinji in on her studious intentions.
By the time he had fully recognized her, however, it was already too late; the girl had already taken notice of him, and her expression did nothing to make Shinji feel better. In fact, her sour face only did the opposite.
"Wuh... what the fuck are you doing here?" She asked, bewildered. "Are you stalking me or something?"
"I..." Shinji replied, feeling a sense of horrible deja-vu. "I was hungry?"
Shinji pointed at the discarded bento box in the garbage, as if to help him explain.
"What?" She looked at him with a mix of confusion and disgust. This mix of emotions, though soon turned to an obvious anger. The girl had seemingly come to a realization. "Wait a sec... I'm sorry, what did you call me before you slammed that door, again? angry foreigner bitch, was it? Remind me."
Shinji's stomach turned into knots, as he too remembered the full events of earlier.
Oh god...
"I-I'm sorry?"
The girl shoved Shinji roughly, sending him to the ground. "What the hell? You think you can just apologize for that? I should have beaten the crap out of you! I bet I could too, you little shrimp."
Shinji waved his hands in front of him, shaking his head furiously. "I'm sorry! Really! I don't know why I said that!"
"Yeah right, don't give me that." She kicked him in the leg. "At least own up to your words, you coward."
The girls angered expression subdued slightly as she noticed a nearby group of guys staring at her. They were whispering amongst themselves, but stopped and continued walking on once they realized her attention.
The girl groaned, holding her head with her hands. "I'm... just proving your point, aren't I? No wonder Kaji... Fuck."
Shinji got up from the ground, and dusted himself off. Slouching, he made reluctant eye-contact with the girl. "I..."
"Just get lost, alright?" She cut him off, shooing him away. "Guys like you bring out the worst of me, goddamn spineless... shit!"
Shinji almost followed her cue, but couldn't help but feel a bit concerned. Fidgeting in place, he took a step towards her.
"Um.. are you okay?" Shinji asked. "I-I shouldn't have said what I said earlier... a-and I should pay more attention where I'm going."
The girl looked at Shinji with exasperation. "Did you just ask if I was okay, after I physically assaulted you? What's wrong with you, just go."
Shinji shrugged in return. "I-I just wanted to see if I could help."
The girl laughed, but it didn't sound joyous in the slightest.
"I get it, okay? You don't like seeing a girl all flustered and pissed, right?" She responded, glaring at him. "Cause you think you're responsible, and you probably think of yourself as a nice guy, right?"
"Uh..." Shinji sounded out, at a loss for words at the girls pinpoint analysis.
"Well guess what. I'm not nice.." She continued. "I am a bitch, and I am angry. I'm jetlagged to shit, I'm hungry, and I wish I hadn't come to this goddamn country. I made a bunch of stupid decisions and... fuck, why am I even still talking to you?"
The girl started walking past Shinji, practically stomping out her frustrations on the pavement. Part of him wanted to let her go, and forget everything that happened on this messed up day. But there was also part of him that wanted to reach out. Soon enough Shinji got an idea which side was currently in the driver's seat.
"Hey, do you... love that guy?" Shinji blurted out, turning behind him at the departing girl. "The guy next door?"
Why... why am I...
The redhead turned around with a cutting scowl. "What, you think you know me or something? Where do you come off asking something personal like that?"
"You... but you were shouting all that personal stuff just now." Shinji replied, tilting his head in confusion. "I'm sorry, I just..."
Her expression, to Shinji's surprise, actually softened a bit. "I, well... true enough. And you know what? It was a mistake. Goodbye."
The girl recommenced her departure, sighing.
"Well... I'm a hikikomori." Shinji called out to her, though not without a bit of hesitation. "I'm not much better."
"W-what?" She replied, stopping in place. "You're a what-now?"
Oh dear lord...
"I almost never leave my room, and I... spend my days sleeping and wishing I wouldn't wake up; playing video games and reading manga until I'm malnourished." Shinji explained. "You're the first girl I've talked to in years. And I don't think you're exactly wrong when you call me a coward... I am pretty spineless, it's why I hide away in my room."
"I..." The girl turned in place. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Well... you were saying all that stuff... about being a, erm, a bitch." Shinji shrugged rigidly. "I j-just think you shouldn't have to embarrass yourself alone, y'know? Figure I'd put us on even ground, so we might both regret this conversation later..."
"W-what?" The girl locked eyes with Shinji, and a smirk creeped onto her face. "You're... pretty strange. But that actually does kind of make me feel better, somehow. But maybe that's because what you said was way more embarrassing..."
Shinji coughed awkwardly.
"S-sorry. What's your name?" She asked, facing him fully.
"I-Ikari Shinji."
"I'm... Asuka. " The girl reluctantly matched his reply, noticeably omitting her surname. An awkward silence filled the air, as she seemed to be deep in thought.
"Look, I don't know what... this is?" The girl began, pointing at herself then at him, then repeating the motion several times. "But if you don't mind, could you... keep an eye on that guy next door for me? Make sure he's not doing anything stupid?"
"Uh, I can do that." Shinji replied, smiling.
To Shinji's surprise, the redhead smiled back. "Yeah? Thanks. Well... uh, goodnight, Shinji. And good luck with that, uh, 'hikikomori' thing too, I guess."
As the girl walked away, Shinji couldn't help but wave at the girl, even though she had long stopped looking behind her. She was walking away briskly, with a somewhat of a spring in her step.
The whole conversation, consisting of more words then Shinji had probably said in months, left the young man feeling lightheaded; but in a good way, to be sure.
She called me by my first name... Asuka...
The walk back to his apartment, Shinji had trouble not obsessing over the conversation with Asuka. The feeling he had, that he managed to have a conversation with a girl, let alone one that didn't end in him slinking away in shame or fear, was intoxicating. That being said, it wasn't as if he had reached some great revelation; he had managed to self-deprecate enough for a girl to take a pity on him. Or, at least, that was how he saw it.
And who knows if I'll ever see her again. He thought. Such is life, I suppose.
And yet, life had enough of a sense of humor to have him run into her twice on the same day. With serendipity like that, it was hard for Shinji to say what to expect from now on, even if his daily, boring routine could lead him to some educated guesses. Regardless, he felt feel exhausted as hell, and wanted nothing more than to return back into the sweet silent embrace of his room. He had bought extra food, too, just so he wouldn't have to venture out for a long while.
Still, Shinji had to pause for a moment once he was in sight of his apartment block. The lights inside his neighbor's room were still on, despite it being fairly late.
Shinji looked down at the beer cradled in his arms.
I'll give it a shot, I guess.
He climbed the stairs to his apartment, and soon found himself in front of the door next to his own. After completing a useless ritual of walking away from the door, and then returning in a sad stubbornness, Shinji finally found it on him to knock. Maybe it was the social success from earlier giving him the extra push, he figured.
Soon there was clear movement, stirring from inside, and footsteps appropriately followed, approaching the door.
So he is home... hope I didn't wake him. Shinji wondered, worried.
But nothing followed those initial sounds of life, though Shinji knew he had at least made it to the door. He knocked again.
More shuffling around from inside; it sounded close. Shinji could almost feel himself being scrutinized through the tiny peephole.
"U-um... I brought some snacks, or uh, b-beer, rather. I guess." Shinji's voice called out, hoping the man might be listening. His voice had cracked horribly, causing him to cringe. "Sorry. J-just as thanks for earlier, or, I don't know..."
My god, I'm sweating. What is the point of this? He probably just thinks I'm weird...
But just as Shinji turned to retreat to his room, the door swung open, nearly hitting him in the face. He shouted in surprise, jumping backwards, and nearly dropping the beer.
"Ikari?"
Shinji heard his name being called. But it wasn't the man calling it, but a girl. In the doorway was a girl with light blue hair, and piercing red eyes. Perhaps most striking to Shinji, however, was that she was wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt, barely reaching below her nether regions.
"U-uhhhh... Hi?" Shinji asked. "You... you know my n-name?"
The girls eyes locked onto him curiously, before turning to the items in the boys hands. "Food?" She asked.
"Yes?" Shinji replied simply, mesmerized by her otherworldly stare.
The girl grabbed the beer and the bag of extra food. Caught more than a bit off guard, Shinji didn't even have the presence of mind to question it.
"A-actually... that food is... mine..." Shinji drawled off. "B-but wait. Hold on. You know my name? Ikari?"
The girl looked at him yet again, with a hint of confusion. But there was soon a brief flash of fear. "I have to go now. I can't talk."
The girl closed the door.
...
...
WHAT.
In the end, Shinji had retreated back into his room, lacking even the resolve to try and recover his lost food. Not only was he now wholly confused, but also had to face the prospect of venturing out yet again for nourishment.
Shoving his head into his pillow, Shinji groaned heavily.
At least I'm not hungry at the moment... Shinji thought, sleepily.
Closing his eyes, Shinji found himself visually fixated on the girl's haunting gaze and strange hair. Her strange demeanor only raised more questions, as well.
I guess I just met the 'other woman'... If my suspicions are correct. Shinji realized. She was almost naked, that girl...
"So my next door neighbor... is cheating on Asuka... with that girl?" Shinji repeated to himself. "Is that why she told me to keep an eye on him?"
Something just didn't sit well with Shinji, even when laying all this information out in front of him.
Sitting up slowly, Shinji rubbed his temples. "But... is he even dating Asuka? She never did ever tell me if she loves him... but why else would she be so mad about seeing a girl?"
Ruffling his hair in frustration, Shinji sighed heavily.
What the hell did I just stumble upon...
As far as the young man was concerned, this was way too much for a shut-in to have to deal with...
