Disclaimer: I own nothing except a few random magic tricks.

-xox-

Argus Filch took a deep breath and knocked on the Headmaster's door.

'Enter,' Came the familiar voice of Albus Dumbledore. Filch braced himself. This was it. Without further ado, he opened the door and stepped in.

'Ah, Mr. Filch, you wanted to see me?' Dumbledore asked politely, looking up at him through his half moon spectacles.

Filch nodded nervously.

'Yes sir, I uh, wanted to ask about the position of the Charms teacher?' He mumbled.

Dumbledore blinked.

'Hmm, I see. Could you demonstrate some charms work please?'

Filch faltered.

'D-demonstrate?' He asked nervously. Dumbledore nodded.

'Well yes, I have to see if you are an exemplary man for the job you see.' He said. Filch nodded.

'O-of course… Yes, of course I can demonstrate. Just a moment please,' He mumbled.

Filch waved his arms.

'Nothing in this arm,' He said, waving his right arm, 'nothing in this arm,' He said waving his left. Next, he bent over, and Dumbledore could no longer see him. When he re emerged, Dumbledore saw him stuff something colourful into his shirt.

'Now,' Said Filch dramatically. 'Prepare to be amazed!' And with that, he put his left hand up his right sleeve and pulled out a long multicoloured scarf. 'Voila!' He said, waving it in the air.

Dumbledore stared, completely at a loss for words.

'Yes, um,' Filch faltered again, 'moving on.' He bent over again. When he emerged again, he held a pack of cards. He opened the deck and spread them out.

'Pick a card, any card!' He said brandishing to them.

Dumbledore numbly pointed to a card.

'Ah, good choice, good choice sir,' Filch said, picking up all the cards, and beginning to shuffle them.

In his haste, he accidentally dropped them. Blushing furiously, he bent to pick them up.

'Heh heh,' He muttered when he stood up again. He picked a card out of the deck at random. 'Is this your card?' He asked hopefully.

Dumbledore shook his head. Filch swore, and picked another. Three times this happened, when Dumbledore interrupted.

'I think I have the perfect job for you Mr. Filch.' He said smiling. Filch's eyes lit up.

-xox-

Filch stood in an empty corridor mopping the floors, a bitter expression on his face.

'Damn bloody Dumbledore,' He muttered.