I loved her before I knew what real love was. I needed her before I knew what real need meant. I wanted to kiss her before I knew what a kiss could do. I have been her friend since we first crossed paths. I have been her constant and she has become mine. But I am her friend and nothing more or less. Friend. Friend. Friend. Friend. Friend. Friend.
I want her to love me with her whole heart to feel what I feel, to see what I see in her, in me. I want things to be different. I wish things were different. I want her to not be with him. I want her to be with me. I want for us to be happy together. I want to make her happy. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want.
But things will not be different they are the way they are and I will not ruin that by telling her I love her, by telling her that I want to be the one who is the last person she sees before she goes to bed, the first person she sees when she wakes up. By telling her that I want to be the only one who can make her happy when she is sad, the only person she looks at with complete love. Her. Her. Her. Her. Her. Her.
But I am only me; she does not love me in that way. She can never know about the feelings I harbor deep inside my non existent soul that burn me like the heat of the sun. I need her, to be near her, to hear her steady heart beat, to be wrapped up in her warmth like a comforting blanket, to feel what she feels, to be with her. I need her like the human body needs a heart. Need. Need. Need. Need. Need. Need.
I want to love her completely, to show her, what I feel for her to let her know that it is me who she should love not him not this other person, who dazzles her in to being with him. I love her. I cannot ruin our fragile friend ship though. I Love her more than I love being alive. It hurts that she is blind to this fact. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love.
Friend. Want. Her. Need. Love.
I sat in the break room with my siblings, and a few other teachers, seeing as we were all teachers at forks high school this year. Hearing the humans eat their lunches and gossip about the new girl, from down the corridor. From what I have gathered from their conversations, she was the daughter of the police chief of this small dreary town of Forks Washington. Her name is Isabella Swan. She sounds like a completely normal and bland human. I looked at my siblings, Emmett my big burly brother sat with his wife, Rosalie, cuddling into his massive chest. Then my golden eyes drifted to my favorite sister, Polly, and my blonde brother, Jasper. Polly was looking at me with a very worried expression etched in to her delicate face.
I quirked an eye brow at her, but she just masked the expression with a cheery smile. Then there was Edward who I detested with a fiery passion. He like, most of my siblings and I had a special ability. He could read people's minds. I hated it because he was always rooting around in my head. Not to mention that he is a self-pitying prick. I glanced out the foggy windows and into the forest, thinking about this new girl that every one was talking about and though I would never admit it I was very, very interested in meeting Isabella Swan, despite what others had said. I don't know why, but it was almost as if I could sense her presence, and for some strange reason I craved it.
"Don't be silly Alice, you don't even know the girl," Edward scoffed at me. I growled lowly at him, Standing up I ran my fingers through my short inky black tangles. "I need to get some fresh air. Bye Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper. Polly I will see you in chemistry." I said leaving.
"God Eddie boy why do you have to be such a nosey dick," I heard Emmett say before I completely exited the break room. I stepped out into the cold rainy climate taking in a deep unneeded breath. I ran my fingers through my hair again, a nervous habit I had developed in the 70 some odd years that I had been a vampire. Carlisle our 'Father' believed that we brought our most prominent physical habits and mental abilities in to our vampire life with us.
I could see the future; Dickward could read minds, Polly could show people what she was thinking and have a conversation with you with out others prying ears, Emmett was past vampire strength, he was stronger that any other creature that I knew of. Rosalie well she has her beauty and Jasper can manipulate emotions. I thought about Isabella as I stepped out in to the dreary rainy weather of Forks.
Suddenly a vision appeared before my eyes it was just a brief glimpse of the most beautiful human being I had ever seen; she was human but her beauty was celestial. Her hair hung in thick, wavy masses around her shoulders and down to the middle of her back; her cheeks contained a rosy hint, though her skin was the colour and texture of white silk; her teeth bit down nervously on her plump bottom lip that was just a tad fuller than her top lip. She was slender yet had delicate curves. But the most captivating thing about her were her eyes they were the color of milk chocolate with hints of cinnamon swirling in there infinite depths, and they were lined by long thick jet black lashes that had a slight curl to them.
I was brought out of my vision when Polly placed her hand on my shoulder, she silently asked me what I just saw and I showed her through the telepathic link we were sharing.
"Wow Ali I think you just found your mate, she is very pretty," Polly replied. I felt a deep rumble began to bubble on my lips, when Polly called this girl pretty. She was mine. Mine. Whoa where in the hell is this coming from?
"Don't worry, Alice. All of feel this way when we first sense our mates, It was how I felt about Jasper, and Emmett about Rosalie. You will be fine as long as Dickward doesn't screw it up with his moodiness." Polly said in her cheery voice.
"I haven't ever felt this way Polly, it is scary, I mean I don't even know her," I said, putting my face into my hands and rubbing my face in an irritated manner.
"Don't worry it will be fine I am sure she will feel exactly the same way, you do about her, towards you." Polly said tugging my hands away from my face.
"You are probably right, what have I got to worry about?" I said as Polly and I walked off towards advanced placement literature class. Just as I finished my sentence though I saw Edward walking in that arrogant manner he has and in to his class room, he taught algebra, awful subject. I bet that if I could have gotten the creeps still I would have had them at the way Edward glared at me in that deathly style of his.
My first class passed by uneventfully and I was thankful that I had ridden with Emmet and Rose today, because there was no way in hell that I would be riding in the same car as Edward.
Once we were home I finished the grading I had needed to do in about 5 minutes flat. After that I danced away in to the forest looking for something to kill. I found a large buck and easily killed him; I let his blood flow into my empty stomach. After I was done with my hunting I stayed out in the woods and came across a peaceful little meadow. It had soft green grass, and was covered in lavender flowers. There was a large boulder near the middle of the meadow and I went and sat on it, replaying my vision from earlier memorizing and re memorizing her angelic face.
As I was doing so I was hit with a vision, Edward was holding the girl I love and she was looking up at him with something that could only be described as love. Then the vision changed course and he was convincing the whole family that this angelic creature was his and not mine. I felt the venom boiling in my dead veins and my heart being completely crushed all at once.
This angel, this heavenly creature that I knew was my mate was picking Edward over me. I got a barrage of awful visions of them holding each other, kissing, and saying loving things in each others ears. I pulled at my hair in absolute frustration, trying to expel the images from my mind before my un-beating heart would rip itself in two.
She was picking him over me she loves him she doesn't love me. My head was saying over and over I tried to ignore it pulling ferociously, on the inky black tendrils of my hair, I felt a pair of cool hands gently untangling them from my hair. Pulling me in to their arms, I started to sob and I felt ridiculous because it had been such a short time since that first vision that I had of her, I hadn't even met her for fucks sakes.
"Why dose it hurt so much?" whispered out between broken sobs. "I don't even know who she i-is."
"Because she is your mate and only your mate, but you are seeing the future based of others choices. You need to believe that it will be you in the end." Jasper whispered quietly while rubbing circles on my back to try and soothe me with out using his gift. He knew I didn't like forced feelings. Jasper and I had always been the closest out of all my siblings, besides Polly; we just understood each other best, I guess.
"Come on baby sis Polly was looking for you and Edward is gone," Jasper said tugging me up from the fetal position I had been in for a long time now.
"Race me?" I asked.
"Are you prepared to lose?" Jasper said puffing out his chest.
"Oh please, 1, 2, 3 go!" I shouted getting a head start.
"Cheating future seeing pixie," I heard Jasper grumble as he tried to catch up with me. I made it back to our house; well I guess you could call it more of a mansion than a house.
"Beat you! Now where is Polly," I said in a chipper tone.
"Little pixie brat," Jasper grumbled with a big smile on his face contradicting his tone of voice.
"Polly," I called loudly, hearing someone step up behind me I quickly side stepped their arms that were intending to snake around me and hopped up on to their back.
"Polly you should now better than to try and surprise a psychic vampire," I giggled wrapping my arms and legs around her planting a kiss on her cheek. The moment I placed a kiss on her cheek, Edward walked in to the living room where the three of us were occupying.
"Alice what are you doing?" Edward gasped appalled.
"Telling Polly that she shouldn't try to surprise a future seeing vampire," I said rolling my eyes at him.
"No you kissed her. It is wrong for two people of the same gender to do those kinds of things, we are already damned to hell and you are destroying any chance you have of not being damned to hell," Edward growled. "And Jasper that is your wife, yes? You need to put a stop to those actions."
"What bit you on the ass Eddie boy, this is the 21st century, these kinds of things are normal." Emmett said from where he now sat in the room with Rosalie curled into his side.
"Why do even bother trying to get you people to see straight." Edward huffed and stormed out of the room.
Polly Jasper and I joined Emmett and Rosalie on the couch. "God Edward is the biggest drama queen and not to mention, prick in the world," Rosalie said. We all chuckled at this because well Edward was a huge drama queen. We all stayed in the living room chatting about nothing for a while then we all went to our rooms. The house seemed lonely since Esme and Carlisle were on vacation.
I laid down one my huge comfy but unnecessary four poster bed, replaying my first vision of the beautiful girl I still didn't know who she was, or where she came from but I did know that Edward was going to try and steal her from me and I couldn't let that happen not when I had waited longer than any one in our coven to find my mate, not when I felt all these strange feelings swirling around in my head and body.
I lay in my bed all night replaying the vision I had gotten of the beautiful angle that would be my mate. Then just as I was about to look into her eyes again I was over come with another vision of her.
A rapid heartbeat thrummed in a ribcage, I could practically hear the blood rush into her cheeks, her hands trembled a bit as she handed me the pink slip of paper. I finally looked up and into her eyes, those eyes of chocolate and cinnamon. I bolted upright in my bed jumping off of it I started throwing my clothes about the room.
"Alice?" Polly asked peeping her head in taking in my frantic state.
"No time, sh-she is in my class, have to look perfect." I sated in a scrambled state of words.
"Alice you always look perfect, please, calm down, you will be fine." Polly reassured me while she calmed me down and sat me on the edge of my bed.
"Would you like me to curl your hair?" she asked while she mused over the thick messy spikes tangled up in a wild but tame way.
"Yep!" I squealed giddily acting like my normal exuberant self. I might have even bounced up and down a little. I finally picked out an outfit, it was a white blouse, a black pencil skirt, that hugged my body in all the right places, a red pencil belt, and matching pumps. My blazer was black but I had no intent of wearing while she was around me. When I had finished dressing and had a few loose curls, in my short, wild mane of black hair I went out to our family's garage, and jumped in to my baby a sleek navy blue porches turbo 911. I waited for my siblings to get into their respective cars and then I bolted out onto the road that led to our mansion then onto the main stretch. I slid gracefully into a parking spot and exited my vehicle. I could hear the boy cat calls though they wouldn't even know it, because of my…advanced hearing abilities.
I made it safely into my class room prepping for the day but I couldn't stop fidgeting, I wanted to meet her and meet her now.
