Greetings! This is Cadet Noob speaking and I come in peace.

My reason for writing this is to at least salvage the souls of the poor readers of the original My Immortal. I hope you enjoy reading my version of My Immortal. (Note: This chapter is part character intro and part chapter one, if that makes sense...)


Rain pelts my window, sending hard taps echoing throughout my room. In the noise of nature, I let the misery wash over and pool around my wrists…


"Ebony!"

My father's voice dodged passengers and conductors. On Platform nine and three-quarters, he stood and smiled at me before I left again for a school none too close to home or anywhere. That same smile and laugh. I waved back, continuing the same drill. Pretty soon, the engine starts picking up speed, and the warm grin was replaced by English forestry. As the scenery drifted past, I thought of my father's face that can share both a lovable grin and a heart-wrenching cry.


After forty-five minutes of absolutely nothing to do, I got up to roam for some company.

"Ohmygod! Ebony, darling, is that you?"

In a flash, all I could see was strands of aqua flying and a crushing pressure around my waist.

"Hello, Rae."

Rae threw me a lopsided grin.

"Haven't seen you in like forever."

A smile tugging at my lips, I replied.

"Yeah, we should have done something over summer. How about next summer?"

Rae quickly agreed. She went on to talk about some guy in her compartment who she didn't like and how she should move to my compartment. I voiced no disagreement and followed Rae to her compartment to retrieve her luggage.

Her compartment was empty, making the transaction easier. Whoever was making Rae annoyed was possibly enough to drive anyone mad, I though. My easy going friend was never one to talk bad about any stranger she had met.

As I l dragged her heavy suitcase out the compartment door, I ran into someone.

"Watch where you're going!"

I blinked in shock as a bleach blond boy picked himself up and furiously dusted himself off. He glared down at me.

"Who do you think you are? Don't you know who I am?"

To avoid any troublesome screamfest, I nodded my head. I have no clue who you are.

The boy noticed the suitcase, now flipped on its side. He smirked.

"Finally. Thanks for taking this annoying girl off my hands."

Once we were out of earshot of the boy, Rae let out a terrifying rant. "Annoying? I 'm annoying? That damn Malfoy should look in a mirror!"

Rae's aquamarine hair flashed bright red.

"He certainly is a blunt character," I quipped. Rae snorted. "That's an understatement."

Her silky hair faded into a light burgundy.

"Let's forget 'bout him. I heard that Harry Potter is quite the looker," she said winking in my direction.

I almost got whiplash for the sudden topic change. I could feel my face freeze up. "Wait. What.." Rae took this as an opportunity.

"That Potter boy, you know, the one who lived. The one who went up against-"

"I know who he is," I murmured, "But why did you just bring that up?"

Rae brushed my bangs away from my eyes, revealing my icy blue eyes. She nodded to herself, though for what reason I knew not.

"Rae?"

"You would make beautiful children."

At that, I chased her down the hall, both of us squealing like fools.


Review! Critique! Or, in the words of Tara herself, IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!XD