December 23, 1977
"Face it, Lils, He would drink frog spawn for you." Said Olivia smiling sheepishly, "And like it!". Lily sighed unhappily, "Olivia, I know that, but he is still a pompous self-centered egotistical arrogant git!"
Olivia smiled fully, "A pompous self-centered egotistical arrogant it who would drink frog spawn for you if you asked him and enjoy every drop of it." She said, "I'm telling you, Lily, eventually he'll just give up with the pick-up lines and just follow you around on his knees all day." Lily laughed, "Now, I think I'll wait just to see that."
Lily and Olivia had just stomped away from another failed attempt at astonishing Lily by James Potter. They were walking next to the lake and spotted the large shade tree next to it. They saw that under the shade tree was Megra.
Her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms folded on her knees and her head resting on her arms as an open book she'd enchanted floated in front of her face and her cloak pulled tightly around her against the cold. Lily and Olivia ran over to her to see if she was okay.
Olivia kneeled down, putting a hand on Megra's shoulder, "Meg. Meg, why don't you go up to the dormitory." Said Olivia quietly while she nudged Megra awake. Megra stirred, "But I can't If I do I can't see… I mean... I can't study for exams." She recovered quickly.
Olivia glanced up from her kneeling position to look to Lily, silently asking if Lily noticed what she had, and Lily nodded. Megra had dark circles around her eyes; her long dark-brown hair that was generally sleek and shiny, was dull and mousy and her eyes had an unusual tension to them.
Megra yawned, then stretched out, "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." Her eyes seemed to glance past Olivia. Lily turned subtlety to see what she was looking at… or whom.
Lily turned back to Megra grinning; "Yeah, Olivia and I were just going to get our Defense Against The Dark Arts books from the common room. Come on, Liv." She said implying.
Olivia followed behind Lily obediently. Lily glanced back at Megra as they began to walk into the direction of the common room. Once they were a considerable distance from Megra, as not to be over heard, Lily looked to Olivia concernedly.
"Olivia, Do you know who is studying at the other tree just visible from the one our dear friend Meg is studying under?" she asked goading, "Meg has a Crush on Remus!"
Olivia rolled her eyes at her, "Of course she does! It's about time…" she said glancing over her shoulder again, "But we'd better push it along, Lils, before she keels over from exhaustion. I'm a lighter sleeper than you are, Mrs. Hogwarts-Express," Lily moaned.
So Olivia knew about her snoring problem. Lily looked at her flabbergasted, " Don't You Dare Tell A Soul," she said threateningly, "Or I will tell the entire Great Hall that you suck your thumb." Olivia put her hands up in defense, "Oh, come on, Lily, you know I wouldn't tell anyone." Olivia said smiling mischievously. Olivia glanced in Megra's direction, "What I mean is, I'm pretty sure she hasn't slept at all in at least a week, except for the little cat-naps she has accidentally during classes."
Lily thought for a moment, then she grimaced, "Olivia, can you talk to your…" she added a dramatic pause, for she loathed the word, and especially the person, "boyfriend?" she said with much strain.
Olivia rolled her eyes again, "Merlin's Beard, Lily, you don't have to act like your talking about a Blast-Ended Screwt or something. He's just my boyfriend." She said laughing. Lily scowled;
"Who happens to be the best friend of the most arrogant, air-headed…" she began as Olivia cut her off, "Long Insults Short, James Potter." Olivia said conclusively. Olivia looked to Lily for a moment, "Wait a minute! You despise Sirius because he happens to be James Potter's best friend, but so is Remus!" she said decidedly.
Lily's cheeks turned slightly pink, "Because… because… Remus isn't as foul to people as Sirius and James. That arrogant, evil…" Olivia sighed tiredly, "Again, to sum up, James Potter."
Lily grimaced again, "Yes," she said with mostly-loathing in her voice, "Talk to your boyfriend and see how Remus feels about Meg." Olivia grinned mischievously, "Yes, M'am, don't have to tell me twice." She said as she began to walk off towards the common room.
"You know, a usual conversation includes things like words and sentences and not just tongues!" Lily shouted after her. Olivia turned around with a look of mock unhappiness, "You take all the fun out of life, Lily Evans!!" she shouted back smiling.
Olivia strode into the Gryffindor common room prominently and noticed two boys sitting in the squashy armchairs next to the fire.
One of the boys had dark messy ruffled looking hair and round-glasses and looked rather depressed and put out. The other had shoulder length dark brown hair and kind and almost haunted gray eyes and was clearly trying to cheer the other boy up.
The boy with shoulder length brown hair's chair back was to the portrait hole so she couldn't resist scaring the quaffles out of him.
She stepped quietly behind the boy as the other looked past him and at her. She raised a finger to her lips to signify that he shouldn't say anything. She stood behind the longhaired boy for a moment to hear what he was talking about.
"Cheer up, mate, it's not like it's the first time." he said in an attempt to cheer him up but thoroughly not succeeding, "Leg-locker curses are easy to counter, it's not as hard as that Bat-Boogey Hex she put on you in first year."
Olivia, as stealthy as a cat, leaned down, barely breathing and put her lips to the long -haired boy's ear. She smiled and then proceeded to whisper, "Hello, Snufflzeez!" she said flirtatiously.
This caused the long -haired boy to jump out of his chair and attempt to stand up and turn around at the same time. Sadly, it didn't work out quite as he had hoped.
He tripped over his own feet landing straight on the threadbare carpet, long hair nearly in the fire. The messy haired boy in the glasses was squirming in his chair with the loud and vivacious laughter that had bubbled from inside him that the longhaired boy had not been able to summon.
The longhaired boy stared at the ceiling, not even looking to see whom it was who had scared him, "Hello, Kitten." He said as if this was a common practice that had been practiced too many times.
He glanced over to the messy haired boy who was still wriggling in his chair with laughter. "Stuff it, Prongs." He muttered quietly. Then, trying to save himself further embarrassment, he turned on his side resting his chin on his hand.
"Hello there, Kitten, Care to join me?" he said flirtatiously. Olivia laughed heartily, "Not on your life, Dog-breath!" She said resting a hand on the back of the armchair.
"Oi, I resent that." He said mock pouting. Olivia crossed around the armchair she was resting on and offered him a hand up. He took it, but to her surprise, he wrapped his foot around her ankle and pulled simultaneously. This caused Olivia to fall right on top of him.
"Sirius Arcturus Black, you are so pathetic." She said with a laugh in her voice once she landed on his chest. He grinned at her, "I know, but you love me anyway." He said sweetly. She smiled back at him, "Yes, I do, Padfoot, if no one else will have you, then I guess I have to." She said jokingly.
Sirius leaned up to kiss her but she pulled away. She suddenly remembered why she had come to the common room in the first place. "I almost forgot, I actually came here for a reason." She said as she stood up. Sirius looked up at her in mock hurt, "And I'm not a good enough reason?" he said.
She smiled but did not answer as she saw Prongs rubbing his legs seemingly pondering something. Olivia looked at him regretfully, "How are your legs, James, she was about ready to hang you from the top of the astronomy tower, you got lucky with that leglocker curse, " she said, "Maybe if you cool down on the ego, she wouldn't get so angry."
James looked at her depressedly, "Still thinks I'm an egotistical arrogant git, doesn't she?" he asked sadly, knowing the answer. Olivia nodded solemnly, "Yeah, in so many more words than that." She said in a weak joking voice, however it didn't seem to make James feel any better.
He stared into the fire for a few moments and suddenly burst into speech, "I'm going to the dormitory." He said as he got up and walked to the stairway. Sirius waved feebly and said, "It'll get better, mate, I'm sure of it." James looked at him and grinned halfheartedly and continued up the stairs.
"He's been taking it rougher than usual, I think this time he really means it." Sirius said in general, whether it was to himself, Olivia, or the air. Olivia could tell that, even in his own boyish way, he was worried about his best mate.
Olivia smiled and turned to him, "Like you said, Sirius, it'll get better. Lily is insulting him more than ever now." She said. Sirius was giving her a 'And HOW exactly does that translate to a good thing?' look. She rolled her eyes, "That means she's in denial about her feelings. It means she trying to reinforce the fact that she loathes him, when really, deep inside, she loves him like no one else."
Sirius smiled as kind of a 'I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about but, I'll pretend I do' smile. Olivia laughed, while slinking her arm around his waist, "I love you." She said laughing.
They sat down in one of the squashy armchairs together, him sitting down first, then her gingerly sitting sideways on his lap, legs dangling off the edge of the chair.
"Oh, Sirius, I was actually sent up here by Lily to ask you something." She said as he was mischievously playing with one of her hands. "What is it, Kitten?" he asked, lamely ending his play with her hand by lacing her fingers with his.
"I came to ask you if you knew if Moony has a crush on Meg?" she asked in anticipation. Sirius looked at her quizzically, "Why?" he asked. Olivia looked up to the ceiling jokingly, "No reason." She said smiling. He looked at her and smiled, " I think so, but I'm not quite sure. I'll ask him for you." He said calmly.
Sirius brought up a gentle finger to trace Olivia features with. He traced along her soft jawbone and once he finished he allowed his hand to rest on her cheek and his thumb to rest on her lips where he could feel the warm calm breathing emanating from her. Olivia brought up the corners of her mouth into a sweet smile.
Her eyes were twinkling mischievously, "Oh, Kiss me already, you idiot." She said with a laugh. He, following as he was told for once, pressed his soft sweet lips to hers.
Olivia thought briefly back to what Lily had said. Olivia smiled to herself, I bet I can have an entire conversation and not utter a word, Lily Evans. You just don't know a single thing about Sirius' Kisses, she thought and allowed herself to get lost in the maze of Sirius' lips.
Later that day, Lily, Olivia, and Megra were strolling to Transfiguration. Lily looked at Megra worriedly, "Did you get any sleep during the break, Meg?" Lily asked curiously. Olivia piped up too, "Because, no offense, but you look ruddy awful, Meg." She said apologetically.
Meg smiled a sleepy smile; "I got a bit of sleep during the break." She said, however her eyes said differently, "But, no worries. This is the last class before the Christmas holidays, you know." Her tired blue-green eyes told them she hadn't gotten more than maybe five minutes of sleep. Olivia and Lily glanced at each other worriedly. The three of them walked into Transfiguration and got in to pairs.
Olivia sat next to a sleepy and dreamy looking Megra while Lily sat directly behind them with a nice redheaded girl named Molly Prewett.
The more Olivia thought, she believed that Megra reminded her more and more of that boy in Ravenclaw, the strange one… Lovegood, Xenophillius Lovegood, for a worry-free moment she wondered if Xenophillius Lovegood ever slept, but her attention was turned to the pair in front of her.
Much to Olivia and Lily's slight dismay, the pair in front of Megra and Olivia was Sirius and Remus.
Olivia looked at Remus and saw that his blue-gray eyes looked tired, though she could not tell if they were anymore tired than usual. Remus turned around and smiled at Megra.
"Hello, Meg, how are you?" he said rather cheerfully. Megra looked at him with a mixture of a dazed and dreamy look, "Oh, hello, Remus, I'm alright." She replied, giving off the feeling that she wasn't completely sure what was going on around her.
Remus looked at her for a moment worriedly and turned around in his seat. Sirius, however, looked to Olivia. He shot her a 'Is she alright?' look. She returned in the form of a 'I have no idea.' look. Sirius suddenly looked as if he'd remembered something and smiled impishly. Sirius glanced at Remus, then glanced to the dazed and confused Megra and nodded, a grin sliding on his face slowly.
Olivia knew what that meant; she mentally punched the air and gave Sirius a regal smile. "I Love You, Padfoot." She mouthed at him. He grinned back at her, "I Know, Kitten, and I won't let you forget it." He mouthed back shaking his head and grinning.
At that moment, Professor McGonagall walked in and began talking about Animagi and how people became them as Sirius glanced back at Olivia and grinned secretively. She knew what he was thinking. Both them and their friends had secrets and only Sirius and she knew their similar secret.
Professor McGonagall was only a few minutes in to the lesson when Olivia heard things next to her that struck her with horror. Megra was asleep. Worse, she was talking in her sleep.
"Hello, Remus…" she said, thankfully, not loud enough for anyone to hear but Olivia. Olivia tried to sit there and pretend that nothing out of the ordinary was going on, but couldn't manage it when she heard her own name.
"…Olivia and Lily… James and Sirius…" she heard her say faintly. She was getting worried.
What if Remus heard her? She would be terribly embarrassed. Worse what if the whole class heard her. She probably wouldn't come out of the dormitory for a month, Megra was so soft spoken anyway, and she would probably stop talking completely if was properly humiliated.
As Olivia's mind was racing she heard, "Happy Christmas, Remus… couldn't … get… spell… right." As if Megra's voice was on a badly tuned radio fading in and out on every other word. Though, Megra's voice was getting louder. Olivia had to do something.
"Megra." She whispered quietly hoping it would wake her up. "Megra." She whispered again. No avail. However, her whispering caught the keen ears of the Transfiguration Professor and head of Gryffindor House, Professor McGonagall.
"What do we have here, Miss Jones?" She said, interrupting her own lecture. The whole class was turned and staring at Olivia and the sleeping Megra, most particularly, though, the pair in front of them, Remus and Sirius.
She glanced at Remus for a moment and thought she saw a flicker of concern, but it was quickly brushed away. Then, she glanced at Sirius with a pleading look on her face Do Something, Sirius! She thought loudly. He dug in his pockets, looking for anything, and pulled out the contents. About three Knuts. He shrugged as he gave her a "Sorry" look. Wonderful, she thought, the one time he doesn't have a bloody dungbomb in his pocket!
Olivia silently begged that Megra not say anything to embarrass herself too much and said, "It seems, Professor, that Megra has fallen asleep." Professor McGonagall looked to Megra with what looked like worry for a moment, then looked with her stern look again.
"We can't have that." She said, "Miss Brown!" Megra remained asleep and Olivia silently begged her to wake up. "Miss Brown!!" Professor McGonagall repeated louder and sterner than the first. Then, Olivia just couldn't stand it.
"Megra!" Olivia whispered loudly and elbowed Megra hard in the ribs. Her head shot up from the desk, "Yes, Professor?" she said with tons of cheesy enthusiasm. Professor McGonagall looked at her again with the stern and almost worried look,
"Miss Brown, please see me at the end of the lesson." She said. Olivia's heart stopped racing as fast. At the end of the lesson, Olivia had waited for Megra but Megra simply walked past her and muttered something about going to bed.
She didn't even bother to tell her the details of the meeting with McGonagall. Megra stormed in to the dormitory, enchanted the curtains to stay closed so there would be no light and left herself to her thoughts in the dark. She stayed there for hours until the other girls came in and fell asleep.
They didn't bother to check on her because she had been playing possum every time a girl looked her way. She didn't want to talk about it. Except with him.
She lay there in her four-poster, letting her mind wander through another sleepless night. She wished her nights would be whole again. She was sleeping in her classes and her professors were worrying about her.
She felt a soft flump on her knees and looked up towards it. She saw it was her Cat, Cosmic Creepers. She sat up and set her cat on her lap. "What am I going to do, Cosmic?" she asked the cat quietly, "I can't keep on like this, if I do, I'm sure to fail my exams." The cat, naturally, didn't reply, but purred affectionately and nuzzled the hand that was petting her absentmindedly. "If I don't do something, I'm really going to embarrass myself, and worse, in front of Remus!" she whispered to the cat while cringing at the thought of the Transfiguration class she had had.
That afternoon, she had been sitting in class and Professor McGonagall was talking about Animagus and how someone would become one. She was listening as intently as she could, considering she hadn't slept in over a week, next thing she knew she was… There.
She was strolling through a light snow in the Hogwarts grounds while everyone else was on a Hogsmeade visit. She knew there was nothing there she hadn't seen before, so she was just walking the grounds.
She saw him sitting under a tree with a bewitched book that was not getting wet by the snow. She smiled as she approached the tree, always thinks of everything…, she thought vaguely.
"Hello, Remus." She said happily. He looked up from his book smiling back to her, "Oh, Hello, Meg." She started to open her mouth to say something when Remus seemed to head her off at the pass. "There are only so many times one can go to Hogsmeade with James and Sirius and buy dungbombs and things from Zonko's until you just get tired of their plans of berating Filch with them." He said tiredly, "Their latest plans have lacked a certain creativity."
Megra smiled, "There are only so many times you can go with Lily and Olivia to follow James and Sirius buying dungbombs and things from Zonko's." Megra said smiling and sitting next to him as the light snowflakes fell delicately on his long light-brown hair and on to the bridge of his nose.
She didn't know why she specifically noticed the light snowflakes on the bridge of his nose. She thought, perhaps, it was because it showed how long he had been looking down into the hefty-looking volume.
She looked down to the book in his lap and smiled, "William Shakespeare?" she asked. Remus turned a little pink and Megra had the feeling it wasn't from the cold.
"I have a soft spot for Elizabethan literature." He said. Megra smiled sheepishly, "I think Olivia mentioned that once." She said quietly. From under her cloak she pulled a quaintly wrapped rectangular package in violet paper with an oddly shaped bow.
"Happy Christmas, Remus." She said nervously, then she saw him glance to the bow, "I wasn't very good at the flick you were supposed to do at the end of the spell." She added smiling slightly.
Remus looked to Megra with his prematurely aged gray-eyes, "Thank you, Meg." He said, an odd flicker in his eyes. He carefully pulled the paper off and found that the package was a book. Megra smiled, waiting in anticipation for him to open the cover.
He looked to the front. The title of the book was The Moon Hast Power Over Us, By Anonymous. He felt the book for a fleeting moment. it had the feeling of being very old and very…helpful.
Remus looked up to Megra, rather frightened, "How did you…?" he began, but Megra put a hand up to stop him. "Open the cover." She said solemnly. Remus opened the cover and read in a intricate and large handwriting,
Remus, The Moon Hast Power Over Both Of Us. We are the same. The Moon is our only fear. I Love You, Remus John Lupin. And I will never tell another living soul our Evils.
Love,
Megra Jayne Brown
Remus looked to Megra completely aghast. It was this very moment where Megra leaned forward and pressed her cold lips to his.
"Miss Brown!" she heard faintly. "Miss Brown!!" she heard louder, but the feeling of Remus' lips was overwhelming. Then, she felt a sharp pain in her side, "Megra!!" she heard a loud whisper resembling Olivia say.
Her head shot straight up, "Yes, Professor?!" she said with a lot of unneeded enthusiasm. Professor McGonagall looked at her with a stern and almost worried look, "Miss Brown, please see me at the end of the lesson." She said.
It was one of the many times she had fallen asleep during her lessons lately. When McGonagall held her up, she looked at Megra concerned, "Miss Brown, are you alright?" she asked, "It isn't everyday that one of your straight A students begin to fall asleep during your classes. I've also heard this from your other Professors, Megra. What's wrong?" Megra smiled slightly fakely and shook her head.
"I'm alright, Professor. I just haven't slept well." This was an understatement, she thought as she petted Cosmic absentmindedly. She lay wide -awake here for one reason, and one reason alone, she loved Remus.
Her mind couldn't rest when she asked it to because she wished to tell him. She imagined the warmth of him next to her, his arms wrapped around her. She wished he would hold her. She wished he would share the secret that she already knew.
He was a werewolf. She had known since the end of their first year. Before James and Sirius had even known. She remembered spotting another werewolf on the grounds before with a stag and a large dog, wishing to know who they were. Yes, another werewolf. She was a werewolf.
She had transformed every full moon and came back to the dormitory and found that Remus looked just as bad as her, worse sometimes. Remus would just fall asleep in the common room, before his fifth year.
Sometimes she would stay and just watch him. The gentle way his hair fell in his face, the calmness of his breathing. She noticed the calmness of his features, usually so rigid and worried. A few times she had gone to touch his hand and to say, "I know your pain, Remus, I share it." But turned her hand back because she hadn't the courage. Remus hand looked so soft and warm. His touch seemed so gentle. She had always known there was a gentleness in his manner. She thought it was an attempt to counteract the ferocity and anger of the werewolf within him.
At first, she believed that he had been dueling with Lucius Malfoy or something. Then, as she got to know him better, she found that Remus wouldn't pick a fight for no reason, so she quickly ruled that out. Then she began to vaguely remember seeing another werewolf on the grounds and pieces fell into place.
She sat there and, for the first time, she picked up Cosmic and set her down on the dormitory floor, and she swung her feet over the side of her bed and threw her lavender cloak over her shoulders. A good walk around the common room should clear my head, she thought hopefully, however I doubt it, said a pessimistic part of her. She stepped quietly out of the dormitory and walked frustrated towards the common room as Cosmic trailed after her.
It was an unusually cold night, since it was the school's winter holiday, and she was surprised to find a roaring fire in the common room when she got there. She paid no notice to it and walked to one of the squashy armchairs, deep in thought about the boy she loved.
So deep in thought, she didn't notice that in the particular armchair she was sitting in already had a bleary-eyed occupant. "Meg!" she heard the person yelp in surprise. Megra jumped up and spun around, "Remus?" she said surprised, "What are you doing here?" Remus had turned a dark shade of scarlet and muttered something like, "Couldn't sleep."
Megra felt her face burn. Could he have been wondering the same thing she was? She was sure she had turned a similar shade of scarlet, "Yeah, me either…" she said quietly.
I should talk to him, I should just spill everything before I begin to fail my end of terms, Megra thought hopefully. Megra didn't even give herself a moment to think.
"Remus, I love you. I love you even though you're a werewolf!" she said loudly and quickly as if that would soften the breaking of her heart. She closed her eyes awaiting the blast, but it didn't come.
She looked up, he was looking at her wide-eyed and nervous, "How did you know…? How long…?" he choked out.
She thought for a moment, I just told him I love him and he's worried about how I knew? Oh, Remus, if your going to break my heart then do it quickly and painlessly.
She was shaking and her voice was breathy and high pitched, "I've known since the end of First year." She said, an attempt at calm.
Remus looked at her in astonishment as if he had just realized what she had really said, " Wait…You… Love me?" he asked breathlessly. Megra shut her eyes for comfort and nodded profusely. She left her eyes closed so she could not see the look on Remus' face a look, she feared, of laughter at the thought. Her eyes were so tight she could not even see glimmers of light behind her eyelids.
Suddenly, she felt a warm hand take hers and another stroke the back of her hand as to stop the hard trembling. Completely taken aback by this reaction, she gasped and opened her eyes to find aged gray eyes staring into them with warmth and kindness.
"Is that why you've been falling asleep in class? Because of me?" he asked softly. Megra nodded, "I haven't slept in eight days, and every time I sleep in class, I, well, dream of you." She said.
She couldn't bear to look at Remus she was far too frightened. She stared down to the threadbare carpet, avoiding his gaze.
"Megra, I Love you, too." She heard a voice barely above a whisper. Her head snapped up automatically. She stared into those enticing gray eyes. "I've been doing the same." He said, "I've been pacing about the common room because I was worried about you." Megra smiled genuinely,
"Oh, Remus…" she said before racing forward throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. She felt his breath mixing with hers and she could smell him. He smelled like strawberries and vanilla. She felt his hand lace fingers with hers, but suddenly he snapped back and unlaced them.
He turned his back to her looking towards the fire, "This can't happen, Meg." He said, "I'm too dangerous. To you, even more so." Megra looked to his back wide-eyed, "Remus, I'll be fine. You aren't as dangerous to me as others. All you could do to me is hurt me when you're not in your right mind." She said simply.
She walked forward and grasped his hand, "I know… that you have reservations about it, but believe me, you won't hurt me." She said. She wanted to say, "I know your pain, Remus, and I share it." Though she considered this would be a rather bad thing to do since she just revealed she loved him.
He turned himself to look at her. The weary and nervous tension was in his face again and the worry in his eyes. He stepped towards her, putting a light hand on her scared face, concern still in his eyes.
She closed her eyes briefly, relishing the feeling. This was her dreams coming true. She opened her eyes and looked at him with all her heart. In that gaze, she put all the love and feeling she had in her heart and whispered, as their eyes were locked, "You can't hurt me."
His gray eyes widened, "I know." He said as he pulled her tenderly towards him and placing a delicate kiss on her lips. He released her and led her over to the couch in front of the fire and they sat down, him draping an arm over her shoulders.
He looked at her, "Tell me about your dreams." He said in an odd voice. So then, she was plunged in to the world of her dreams as she described every one she had had for the last eight days. He looked at her intently, as if he was studying her every word.
Somehow, in her talking, relieving her burden of the last eight days, her head slowly made it's way to his shoulder and his tender arms slunk around her waist and, before she knew it, she was asleep in his arms, completely contented.
