Crush
He wants to tear her apart.
He wants to rip her open and watch her bleed out, to see if she remains optimistic as he slowly picks her apart. To crush her, bit by bit, till nothing's left but a bloody mess. To hear her screaming his name in agony, begging with him, pleading for him to stop. To cover himself in that blood, her blood, because it is something beautiful, because it came from something beautiful. He wants her in pieces, more than he's ever wanted anything before.
And she has no idea how lucky she is, that it was her friend who won their match.
Years pass. He's learned to push the monster to the back of his mind, to protect those who need him most. He's quelled all those darker urges, become a real, live human being…
…yet when he thinks of her blood, what it would smell like, what it would taste like, years of hard work and rehabilitation are all shot to hell. The human side of him fears for her, should he ever catch her alone. The monster dreams of the possibilities.
When he sees her again for the first time in nearly three years, he discovers that the want, like him, has grown more human. No longer does he want her bloody destruction. He wants her, wants to experience her from the inside in a very different manner. Human and monster both don't particularly care about her feelings on the matter.
She notices him looking and smiles at him. His response is a glare. Her gaze drops as she turns away.
And she has no idea how lucky she is, that her friends surround her even now.
Too soon, she is gone again.
Finally able to sleep, he discovers dreams plagued by visions of her, bleeding beneath him as she screams her aquiescence. They carry on all night, every night, and he is slowly going crazy (again). Sleep, he concludes, is over-rated, and he chooses to forego it again.
He overhears his siblings, as they complain that after all this progress he's slowly becoming again what he once was. He is still lucid enough to suspect that they're correct.
Months pass. When his sister reminds him that it is time for the Chuunin exams again, this time held in distant Konoha, he shudders in anticipation and smiles like he used to. She pretends she doesn't notice.
That last month before his journey to Konoha is the longest of his life. Even so, when he arrives, he still isn't sure how he'll act on his urges, ifhe'll act on his urges.
She solves his dilemma (or at least, decides it for him) when she comes knocking on his door to deliver some message or another from her mentor.
Her luck, he thinks with both horror and glee, has at last run out.
He feigns interest in what she's saying for perhaps a minute or two before he gets between her and the door and locks it tight.
She moves for the window. He is faster. Too many years of waiting, wanting, and now he's finally snapped. He'll have time to regret this later.
He seizes her quickly and crushes his mouth to hers, tastes her for the first time. Panting, he tries to pull back for a breath. She doesn't let him. Surprising, the way she returns his violent fervor, the way something mistaken for unrequited has become a battle for dominance. He makes her scream and shudder. She suckles bruises down his chest, makes him beg for more.
When he finally collapses on top of her, spent, he wonders how he's lived without this his whole life. This thing—it's something special, something beautiful. Something elusive, too.
As he watches her, sleeping with her arm draped across him possessively, he thinks that this is better than the dreams ever were.
CY: I had to write a gaasaku type thing after reading this fic called "How and Why" (it's in my favs). This song "Tear you Apart" came on the radio, and I was all, "There's an idea!" So yeah. Also, this is probably the closest to a real "lemon" scene I'll ever get...
