Someone once said, "It is not up to us who we love but whether we choose to love at all."

"God, Maxie! Can't you see it?! Can-can't you feel it? Feel me?" Spinelli said as he grabbed her arms with such desperation he thought he might break then and there. His eyes were dark and stormy much like the weather outside. They had come to the penthouse hoping to escape the storm only to find a fiercer one waiting just inside.

"I've been walking around for months now in this Maxie induced stupor and you..." he trailed off with a slight self deprecating chuckle, one that he had come to know as the sound of his heart breaking.

Maxie shrugged out of his grasp and walked over to the desk wanting to put a little distance between them and God help her, maybe even bring a little sanity into the situation. What the hell was Spinelli talking about? His feelings couldn't possibly have grown beyond the bounds of friendship. Spinelli was the smartest guy she knew he wouldn't be stupid enough to go and FEEL something for her. Not when she wasn't capable of being who he deserved.

"I love you, Maxie..."

"And I love you", Maxie interjected.

"Yes, but I don't think you fully comprehend what I'm trying to convey-" Spinelli rambled on while nervously fidgeting with the keys in his hands. Looking at them like they were the most interesting thing he had ever laid eyes on.

"Spinelli stop!" Maxie screeched. With that Spinelli's head shot up. Maxie's eyes showed a fire that had not been prevalent to the Jackal in quite some time. Perhaps not since Wise Georgie's death.

"Spinelli," Maxie inhaled a long deep breath. Hoping maybe with a little oxygen her world would stop spinning. "I thought you understood me." Regaining her composure. Her mind fought to find the words she so desperately needed to make this okay. "I do love you. You're my best friend and I never want to lose you. Please don't do this. Don't you see? Where you're going, I'll lose you for sure."

"You've got me but it doesn't change anything, does it? You don't see me. I thought that perhaps you did but I must have made an egregious error in my calculations because I believe if you ever really saw me...",at this he let out a small sigh while moving to stand in front of her. He grazed her cheek with his hand, "well, then my most brilliant Maximista, we- rather I wouldn't be going through such inner upheaval."

Maxie inwardly kicked herself for being so blind to all that he had been going through. She wanted to cry for her friend. Sweet, sweet Spinelli and somehow she had infected him with her very own brand of crazy.

Maxie, who had been matching his tumultuous gaze, was now looking down fearful of what she faced if she dare look up. This was Spinelli, after all. This couldn't be happening. Spinelli was a gentle soul and he would never act this way he wasn't capable of it.

"So that's it, huh? Scared little Maxie is going to run off again and maybe this time her self destructive ways will finally push me away for good." Spinelli wanted to be as close to her as possible at this point. Rejection or not he needed to be in close proximity to his hearts true home. He ached for her. Why couldn't she see that? For him there was no end in sight. He was doomed to love the girl who was too damaged to love him back. The girl who was intent on living her life the way she saw fit. When was she going to see that he fit?

Spinelli moved over to her. His eyes never leaving hers. Something inside of him had snapped. He wasn't Spinelli: genius computer hacker and friend to woman everywhere. He was a man on fire, a fire that burned for this Goddess trembling before him. He needed her to see him. She was the most beautiful thing in his orbit and it was time she saw what was right in front of her. What was always right in front of her...him.

His words were almost incoherent to her. Even as he was getting closer she found it hard to hear what he was saying. "Jump. Just jump." He was mumbling over and over again. He was freaking her out. She went to tell him to stop but something inside of her stole her breath. Then he was there. Melding their bodies in the most delicious way. His hand pressed against her lower back drawing her as close to him as possible. His other hand traced small circles against her cheek. Her skin was so smooth and delicate it drove him insane. His lips were hot on hers as his tongue begged for entrance. Taking what he wanted, what he had needed desperately for so long. Her groans turned to whimpers as the kiss grew deeper.

Suddenly as if Maxie's mind had clicked back on, she drew back with a gasp as she shoved Spinelli back. "Wha-what do you think you're doing?! You don't just go around sexing people up! What the hell was that?"

Maxie looked at Spinelli with shock etched across her face. Spinelli, on the other hand looked like he had truly lost it. A smile tugged at this features and dipped into his eyes as he started to laugh. A hearty laugh, one that had Maxie standing there dumbfounded wondering if she should take him somewhere perhaps with padded walls where they could better assess his needs.

Spinelli pushed open the balcony doors and jumped up on the ledge and with everything he had in him he screamed. The scream of a man on the verge. The scream of a man who had everything to lose. It ripped from him with such a driving force he thought that he might throw up. "I, Damian Spinelli, standing before the Gods and the rest of the universe profess my undying love for the infinitely beautiful Maxie Jones! She may not feel the same but that will never detour my heart from its natural course." The rain was beating down on his face as he lifted it to the sky. He turned around now facing her in all her glorious splendor. Concerned marred her features.

"Please Spinelli get down from there and come in. We can talk about this without getting worked up. Hell, we can even talk about this without you dying tonight. Get down it's raining you big jerk." Maxie pleaded.

Spinelli's gaze softened as he continued.

"It doesn't come easy for me, Maxie. Matters of the heart. I was perfectly content to just live out the rest of my days being your friend. To have you in my life was good enough but damn it, Maxie. Good enough just isn't going to cut it anymore." Maxie stepped out onto the balcony never taking her eyes off the crazy man on the ledge confessing his undying love for...her? When did she get here? Spinelli was in love with her. Had he lost his mind? Didn't he know that love and Maxie Jones were like fire and ice? Combining the two was suicide.

How had she not seen it? This boy who always seemed to be around when she needed someone. Had she not learned anything from all the loss in her life? You've got to grab what you can when you can because nothing last's forever. No, this was Spinelli she couldn't risk losing him. Not him. Much to her surprise Maxie had come to depend and care for Spinelli more than even she thought herself capable.

"Tell me you don't love me, Maxie. Tell me that you haven't felt it; tell me that you don't think about me. Tell me again how I'm your best friend and you don't want to lose me!" Spinelli pleaded. All Maxie could do was stare at this boy who had somehow turned into this passionate man before her very eyes and she had missed it.

"Shut me up, my Maximista! You can't, can you? Because you love me! You do, just say it!" Spinelli jumped from the ledge and took his place right in front of her. They were both completely soaked, a fact that neither of them seemed to notice or care about.

"Say it..." Spinelli whispered as he reached his hand out and lifted her chin so that he could see into those beautiful eyes that, unlike Maxie, told Spinelli everything he wanted to know.

"We can't live our lives in fear. I can't. Not anymore. I need you." Spinelli couldn't help the draw that she had on him. He needed her now. Just as he went to claim her lips for his own she stepped back.

"Don't do this. There's no going back from this. I can't lose you." Maxie begged as she tried her best to keep her tears at bay.

"You're right, Maxie. There is no going back. You have my heart and I can't be here when you try to give it back." Spinelli spoke sadly. "I wish that I could say I'm sorry, but I can't. I'll never be sorry for loving you." Spinelli smiled softly at her. "Um so I've got to get out of here. Stone Cold needs me to procure some face cleanser for his manly facial needs. So I should go do that before the store closes..." Spinelli spoke rapidly fumbling with his words trying to find an escape.

"Spinelli..." Maxie tried to get his attention as he started in with his awkward babbling. She new all he wanted to do was bolt but they had to finish this.

"Fine it's my face that has needs but nevertheless I must be on my way because you skip one day and it becomes two until one day your face becomes this battleground of unpleasantness." Spinelli nervously laughed as he made his way out the door.

Maxie was left alone. In the silence of the dark penthouse that once held so much promise. What had she done? She let him leave? No, no she couldn't lose him. Not like this. Not when he was right. She did love him. She messed up...again!

"Oh shit...I love Spinelli." Maxie whispered.

Don't take things for granted. That was what she was determined to take from all the loss she had faced in her life. So how had she done that very thing with Spinelli? She wasn't about to let this stand for one more second. Yes it was true that maybe she wasn't the quickest girl to walk to earth but she'd be damned if she'd let him get away now. Not now that her whole world had just been turned upside down. She was going to go get what she needed. She was going to go and get that damn happiness she heard so much about.