The Lady speaks

"Do not fall in love", my mother used to say, "Because you will never be able to choose, but your father".

And I knew such reality. Although many ladies I had met in these twenty years of my life had been engaged with men that, at least, they would feel certain interest, I would never be allowed to choose, but my father. If he engaged me with a man, I would not reply: a true Lady always must to obey everything his father (or husband) asks her.

"A true Lady silences, a true Lady obeys, and never replies"

And so it became in my way to live, all my life.

I have been brought up by this way, firstly by my mother, and after by my nannie when my mother died… Always depriving me of things that the most of Victorian girls were allowed to enjoy, either to use a specific theme of conversation or even socialize with certain people they would allow me to speak with. That is the reason why I have become in a really "unpleasant person": a Lady who hardly ever smiled to others and stared the world silently, keeping inside her all the hatred and pain. I have never found my life correct and always wanted it to change.

But that day never came, and I must to obey to those women that I, anyway, loved.

I always had two wishes: to know what love is, and to love and to be loved by that someone… But I know that will never happen. In those lasts years, my father started to being strict with me when I had to leave home, either for going to balls or visits I was invited in advance.

And, when I could notice, I would spend entire months at home. I never lost my senses, but I have been accustoming to it, to consider my house as my cage to as the safer place. Anytime my father let me leave home, in the end I found myself surrounded of vain people that never said more than as happier they lived, and all the things they had. I felt really uncomfortable when I tried to socialize with them, and always ended wishing to return home more and more, although if I spent only few hours, or many minutes, outside.

But I still wish to find the love although all my restrictions, my dislike to this society and my fatal fate. I have no friends, and I know my father will engage me with an unknown man one day, and since that day, I will not be free anymore.

Now I look at the starry sky of this night, the only thing that gives me a scant of hope for the days will come. I wish I could meet someone before being engaged with an unknown man, someone who brought me to life.

I really wish it.