Hello everybody! I'm back with an all knew story. I'm really excited about this one, because it is all in Tobias's point of view, and I personally like him as a character much better, and a few of you have said that you like his point of view in my writing better also. This story is a lot like my others with the injury and living with that injury type of story line. This takes place right after Tris got Tobias out of the simulation and they stopped it. But in this, he wasn't actually controlling the simulation, and someone else ended it. You will find out later who did. I wrote this at like one o'clock in the morning because I was really excited about it and I couldn't sleep, and because we keep getting out of school for snow. We have only gone one day these past two weeks. And we have about six inches of snow out here and it doesn't show signs of melting anytime soon, so I guess I have more time to write fanfiction! Yay! But of course I won't because I'll just be on tumblr the whole time. Anyways, I hope you really enjoy this story, and I will get around to updating my other stories someday in the far future.
I was still shaken up from being under the simulation. I was controlling the simulation. I was sitting there watching as dozens of my own kind were slaughtered by others of my own kind. I was stuck in my own body, my eyes and ears working, but not processing, my fingers having a mind of their own as they typed in commands only I would know.
I ran along side Marcus, Tris behind me and her father and Caleb in the back, Peter lost somewhere far back behind us. I didn't hear where we were going, but Tris seemed to know as she yelled out directions as she stumbled along. If I was in my right mind, I would know that she was about to collapse and I should pick her up. But between the somber reunion with my father and somehow forcing myself out of a simulation, I wasn't quite on top of things.
Tris told us to turn right up ahead, and I held out my gun to fight off any enemies around the corner, though there shouldn't be anybody since the simulation was shut down and the Dauntless and Abnegation were set free.
When I see movement, I immediately aim my gun at the black form ahead. But when I notice who it is, I stop in my tracks.
Zeke.
Zeke. He is aiming at me. Why is he aiming at me? He isn't under the simulation. We stopped it-
I hear a bullet wiz right next to my ear, so close that it nicks it. My feet move before my mind does, running back around the corner, my hands grabbing onto Tris as I flee from my only true friend. I don't look back to see if the others are following. Only Tris really matters right now. I would rather have her survive than me.
Bullets ricochet off the walls, the sound of metal hitting concrete ringing out between the buildings. The pounding of my heart in my ears overpowers all else. The only thing I can see is the end of the alley where it opens up onto the street.
I hear the sound of a bullet hitting flesh, feeling and intense and overwhelming pressure in my lower back. My legs give out as I fall in heap on the ground, my head slamming on the dense concrete.
"Tobias!" Tris shrieks, falling to my side. I hear her sob before something switches off inside of me, and everything stops.
I awake in a panic, having been aware of the strange feeling of my spine ticking before anything else. I gasp for air, my lungs feeling like they are a crumpled up piece of paper. I feel hands on my bare back, pushing me down onto the table I am lying on. All I can see is black fabric a few inches away from my face.
"Tobias?" a quivering voice asks. A different hand lays gently on my shoulder, freezing cold against my sweaty skin. The fabric shifts and a face lowers into my vision. I see her long golden hair and wide, scared eyes staring back at me.
"He's awake!" Her excited statement pierces my ears, making me wince. I go to say something, but the muscles in my throat won't move to make sound, my lips trembling to form words.
"He is? Oh no. I was hoping he would stay knocked out. We don't have any anesthetics here to reduce the pain. He will just have to bare through it," I think Caleb says.
A stab of pain shoots up my spine like a rocket, stopping at the top of my neck, where it feels like a knife being wedged into my brain. I gasp, my hands trembling as I try to clench them into fists, but my numb fingers will only bend so far before uncurling and starting again.
Someone stuffs a strip of leather into my mouth, and I almost choke when I see who it is. My father steps back behind Tris again and sits down. This is his belt. The belt he used to torture me endlessly throughout my whole childhood. I try to get it out of my mouth, but another stab of pain goes up my spine, and I bite down on it to keep from screaming.
My whole body feels wrong. My torso and arms are numb and tingle like I am being pricked with millions of needles at once. My legs feel like they aren't there, like I have been cut in half and my legs were left behind. I just want to know what is happening, but nothing I try to do will work. My brain is not communicating with the rest of my body.
"Tobias, it's okay. You got shot in the back. Caleb and my Dad are trying to get the bullet out. Just stay still," Tris tells me. Her voice is shaking. She is scared.
She runs her hand over my shoulders and up to my neck, her fingers running through my hair. The simple act is so calming and relaxing that I almost forget that I am being operated on. Then, of course, another wave of searing pain flows up my spine, and I can barely hold in a scream. Tears squeeze themselves from my eyes, running down my cheeks. Crying. Such a human thing to do. I haven't cried in a long time. Not since my mother died. I have pushed out all the emotions since then. Now they are all coming back, somewhat due to Tris and also because of my current situation. I don't know if I like the change.
"Oh no," Caleb mumbles.
Tris springs up from her seat in a flurry of fabric that blocks my view again. "What? Is something wrong?"
"The bullet seems to have hit his spine. I can't discern any damage yet. I need to get the bullet out without making anything worse."
Tris sits down again and goes back to comforting me. She sets her chin on the edge of the table I am lying on, her face inches from mine. Her face is tight, as if trying to hold back tears. She presses a dreary kiss on the tip of my nose, attempting a smile.
"Can you find me something to pry this out? I can't get a grip on it with the knife," I hear Caleb say. Is he using a knife to dig around in my flesh? I start to worry that there is something wrong. I can't feel it at all.
I hear someone rustling through tools or something heavy and metal. When the person comes back, Tris stands up again, angrier this time.
"Pliers? You are using pliers on him?"
"Beatrice, calm down. Do you want me to save your boyfriend or not? I know what I am doing, we just have limited resources here. And don't worry, I am going to clean and sanitize them before I use them," Caleb replies sharply.
It takes him a while to get the bullet out, but I hear it clang against the ground when he drops it. Buy this time, the pain up my spine is constant and more powerful. It blocks out most of my surroundings, until hear their panicked whispers, Tris springing out of her chair once again to find out what they are talking about.
They tell her to sit down, which she does solemnly, her face now tinted green. She grips my hand, her fingers trembling.
"I-I can see your spine." She looks over my shoulder to get another view of what they are doing, but then cringes away and move her face next to mine. "I can see your bones, Tobias. They don't look right."
My worry grows, knowing that a spinal injury can be extremely serious. The fact that I am not dead right now is a miracle.
"Oh, God. This isn't good," says Tris's father.
"What?" Caleb questions.
"One of his vertebrae is shattered. The one above it looks like it is dislocated."
"Do you think the bullet severed any nerves?"
"It's is hard to tell, but judging by the path the bullet took and the extense of the damage, it is inevitable that something was severed."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Tris asks worriedly, her voice hoarse.
Her father sighs, asking her to come with him to somewhere more private. Caleb stays back, continuing to work on me.
I start to panic, the reality of this getting to me. There is no way that I am going to get out of this unscaved. This is serious.
"Now, Tobias, there isn't much else we can do without proper medical tools. I can't stitch up the wound, because it is too wide and ragged. I'm just going to disinfect it and wrap you up until we can…figure something out."
He gathers a few things from around the room, and I suddenly feel the urge to say something to him. My mouth doesn't feel like it is broken anymore, so I give talking a try, after pushing the belt out of my mouth.
"Caleb?"
He stops what he is doing and leans down in front of my face, his eyes wide behind the sweat-soaked hair hanging over his forehead.
"Thanks for helping me. You saved my life," I choke out, barely intelligible.
"Oh, well, my sister seems to really like you, and she's my sister of course, so yeah," he says nervously, looking at the ground and pushing his hair from his eyes.
"Okay, this is going to hurt, so you might want this back." He stuffs the belt back into mouth, going back to what he was doing. I press my forehead against the table, closing my eyes, bracing myself for the pain. I feel the urge to cry again, because of the hopelessness of this situation, because I am not sure that I will survive this, because I don't know if I will ever be the same again.
He pours a liquid on my back. I can feel the shock of cold on my skin as is trickles over my sides and over the edge of the table. Caleb wipes some of it up, pressing gauze to my wound and wrapping up tightly with bandages.
"Were you able to feel that?" He asks curiously.
"Uh, no."
"That was rubbing alcohol. It should have felt like hell in a wound that deep."
I forget to breathe. I have experienced the burning sensation of rubbing alcohol many times over when my mother would clean my cuts and whip marks left by my father, and then the many years I had to clean them myself after she died. It always burned like fire even on small wounds like that. It should hurt now. But it doesn't. I don't feel anything at all.
At that moment, Tris's father walks back in, without Tris. He goes up to an Abnegation woman that was here hiding with the dozens of other Abnegation, whispering her and pointing to the door that divided me from Tris. The woman nods, going through the door, where I can catch a glimpse of Tris sitting on the floor with her head in her hands. I can hear her sobs. Every part of me wants to get up and go to her, comfort her. But the woman gets there first, kneeling down beside her and putting a hand on her shoulder. Then the door closes, cutting me off from the girl I long to be with at this moment.
Caleb is discussing things with his father, moving his hands and looking at me every so often. His father looks concerned as he walks to me, kneeling down in front on me.
"Tobias, you didn't feel the rubbing alcohol?"
"No," I breathe, my face contorting in confusion and worry.
"And you didn't feel the bullet or the knife?"
"No." I close my eyes, knowing where this was going.
He stands up again. "Okay, I think we need to check a few things." He turns to Caleb. "Can you get me something dull."
I start to question what he was doing, but I decide that I can trust him. He knows what he is doing.
He walks to the other end of the table, clearing his throat. "Tobias, can you feel this?"
I am confused at first, because I don't feel anything, but then I realize that he is doing something. He continues to poke and prod at me, figuring out that I don't feel anything below the bullet wound.
"It could be temporary, Tobias. If we can maybe get you to Erudite, they can figure out what is wrong. It could be that the nerve signals are blocked, or they can be repaired. There is a good chance that you will be alright," Andrew tells me, trying to convince me of things that are obviously not true.
The door in the back of the room opens, revealing the Abnegation woman and Tris, whose face is red a blotchy, her cheeks stained with tears. She walks unsteadily over to me, sitting in the chair again. She takes my hand, holding it to her cheek.
"Tobias, I love you. I love you to the moon and back. I love you more than there is stars in the sky. I don't feel like I have enough time to tell you how much I love you and how much I need you and how much I can't stand to be without you." Tears shine in her eyes as a shaky smile finds its way onto her face.
"Now, don't go around thinking like that. I'm not going anywhere." I smile, because that's the first time she has ever said that she loves me. She is so sure of it too, like she knows that we are meant for each other, and how we may not have much time left together.
We hear the rumbling of engines outside. Tris shoots up, running to the door. She has been so on edge today.
"Beatrice, no. We don't know if it is an enemy or not," her father says, running after her.
"But if they have cars, they can help Tobias. Anyways, why would the Erudite be driving around the city?"
"Maybe because they are searching for us! Tris, if you open the door, it will expose us all. You would be the main target. Jeanine specifically wants you," Caleb says.
I hear the door open, Caleb muffling a frustrated scream.
"It looks like a big white van at the end of the alley. Are they putting people in it? Oh! I think they are helping the injured. I think it is Erudite," Tris informs us.
"Beatrice, get in here! If they are Erudite, they are going to capture us." Her father slams the door shut, which was probably heard outside.
"No, Dad. They were helping injured people into their vans. I saw a bloody guy walk in the back of one. They had bandages and stuff with them. They are helping the people who were injured in the attack."
"Why would they help the people they hurt with the Dauntless army?" Andrew questions.
"Dad, I think she is right. Not all of the Erudite were on the side of Jeanine. So they may actually want to help," Caleb says.
"I'm going to get them before they leave." I hear Tris's foot steps echo down the alleyway, her screams to get the people's attention piercing through the air.
I wave of relief flows over me. I might actually get to be saved. I might get to be safe for once. I don't want to be involved with this war. I just want to be left alone for once.
The door opens again, and I hear several people enter. Some start talking to Caleb and Andrew, getting filled in on my situation. A man dressed in blue kneels in front of me, shining a light in my eyes, then presses his fingers to my neck. In a flurry, they gather me onto a makeshift stretcher, carrying me outside, Caleb and Andrew following so they can be used as medical staff. I am hauled into the back of a van, and the last thing I see is the sun setting in the distance.
There are several other people in the van. Others who were injured, I guess. They gasp and murmur as I am lowered to the floor. I realize that it must of the tattoo on my back. All the faction signs linked together to form one. A sign of rebellion. Also because they probably never expected a Dauntless, who they had always thought were their fearless protectors and now turned murderers, one of the ones to be shot down. I definitely would see that as a sign of everything we have known crumbling down into dust before our eyes.
Because things are definitely different now, and different can be dangerous.
I really hoped you all liked it. DON'T FORGET TO FOLLOW AND REVIEW!
