Hi there! I'm making another brief appearance here, because there's still some creativity left in me...school's almost out and that means time to recharge! More writing...maybe.
I've been seeing lately I've been doing a lot of sad writing, and writing more about love. This is interesting to me. Maybe just a phase...I promise to get out some more cheerful stuff once I've exhausted all of my "reflective" writing. I've got a Psych multi-chapter story in the works...well, actually, there's only like three lines that I know of, that I'm going to build off of. But it will happen. Eventually.
Without further rambling, I bring you the latest product of my early morning reflective writing. You can think of it as a response to my previous story, "Melted Chocolate," if you want.
Disclaimer: I would never claim to own Psych. No one would believe me.
When she thought about it, Juliet realized she'd never really been in love before. Sure, there had been boyfriends and crushes before, but nothing really meaningful. True love was much different than she'd imagined. She'd never expected it to hurt so much, yet also warm her down to the deepest recesses of her
Why had she denied it for so long? How had she not seen? She'd had the opportunities, had them since she first saw Shawn at the restaurant. She'd seen his veiled affections, seen how he tried so desperately to win her heart.
Why didn't she listen? Why did she keep herself so closed up, unwilling to let him know that she loved him too?
After a while, he'd given up.
So it seemed to Juliet, anyway. He must have known that she was unmoving, so he moved on. Other girls came and went. Juliet found herself trapped in an agonizing silence, her own personal prison, hoping desperately and coldly that each girl would move on quickly.
She wondered about love, how it was that she'd fallen so deeply even though Shawn was no longer there to return it. She couldn't pull herself out—she'd been trapped ever since Shawn had pulled her aside in a quiet moment between cases and told her "Jules, I'd do anything for you."
How could she have ignored that? How could she have kept him in the dark for so long?
The pain had finally woken her up. The pain of realizing she was no longer important to him in the way she wanted. Of seeing him with Abigail. Of staring at her phone for hours on end with tears in her eyes, wishing that she'd text from Shawn and knowing that Abigail was. Staring in each empty moment that she no longer held that importance.
She wondered if he still saw it in the way she would smile shyly at him, or the way that she tried to cover up her blushes with jokes. Was it wrong wishing Abigail away?
It's silly, she would think. Silly that a simple thing like jealousy could drive a cop like herself to such fury, and such longing for the boy she let slip away.
But it did, and with each tear that fell down her blushing cheek she felt her heart break a little more; for in the heart of the boy who'd slipped away, it was Abigail, and had always been Abigail.
Juliet drew her knees up to her chest in the darkness and solitude of her bedroom, and his words were drove the truth ever deeper into her aching heart.
"I love you…Abigail."
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