Author's Note: So, I know it's been approximately 45345534 years since I've updated Beautiful Life, and I promise, PROMISE that I'm almost done with the next chapter, and will have it up REALLY soon, but, you know, I've been DROWNING in feels because HELLO, MY OTP IS GETTING ENGAGED! Anyway, I had a lot of this on my computer, and I had pregnant!Brittany feels (hmmm...I wonder why?) and I ALWAYS have major feelings about Santana and Annie, so... Anyway, this takes place after chapter 15 of Finding the Way Back.


It hadn't been all that long since the day in the doctor's office, the day that changed everything I had ever known, and the sound of that tiny heartbeat still resonated in my ears. I lied in bed, it wasn't that late, but Brittany was already passed out beside me, sleep warm and still glowing with a light sheen of sweat from our earlier activities. Her fingers tangled with mine, the way she'd taken to sleeping then, ever since our second reconciliation after her return to New York, and part of me couldn't help but think that she was holding on that way in fear that I'd let go again, that the third time we break apart will be the final straw.

I'd been waiting, waiting until her eyelids stopped their gentle flutter, waiting until her breathing didn't hitch on occasion, waiting until she was in the deepest of sleeps, the same way I'd been doing each and every night. When I was nearly sure that she was in the state that I wanted her in, I pressed a soft kiss on her lips, and I felt them remain slack and unresponsive beneath mine. Carefully, I lifted my body from where I lay against her chest, and slowly, I slid beneath the covers, nothing illuminating what was before me but the low, buzzing light of the city beneath us.

Her skin was bare, her t-shirt hastily discarded much earlier, when she'd pressed me down on the bed, and I sucked in a breath, realizing I may never not be in awe of her body, no matter what state it was in. I didn't kiss her chest or her stomach. Somehow it felt far more intimate than I was ready for, but carefully, I splayed my hands on her smooth, pale skin, gently I let the tips brush the swelling there, and quickly, I blinked away the tears gathering at the corners of my eyes. It's entirely possible that it was the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed, seeing the way her body was changing, seeing the woman I loved carry within her a tiny life, a life that I had just so recently decided that I wanted to have a major part in.

"Hi, baby." I murmured, my lips hovering just a hair away from her skin, not touching, but still making sure I was close enough. "It's Santana again, just checking in, figuring we're sort of getting used to each other now, right? I'm still not really sure whether you can hear me, but I decided not to look it up online. I figured I'd rather hang on to thinking that you can, thinking that what I say to you will actually make it to you."

My fingers couldn't help but dance along the swell, mapping where the baby was, feeling each and every dimple and curve of Brittany's feminine form. I so desperately wanted to fill the baby's mind with good thoughts of me, of their mother's girlfriend, of the one they would hopefully grow up with, especially after I knew they'd heard my vitriol spew in the immediate aftermath of my learning about their existence.

"Your mom really loves you, you know. I'm not sure if she knows this, but I catch her sometimes. I catch her tucking her hair behind her ear, when she's folding laundry, or putting away dishes, and I catch her cradling where you are, like she's just waiting to hold you in her arms. I catch her singing to you, and I think that she looks the most beautiful she ever has, and, even though I'm still not exactly sure where you and I stand, I'm sure that you are the luckiest little baby in the world. I love her a lot too, more than anyone I've ever known, and I want you to know how important she is to me." I felt my eyes wet with tears, the intimacy of talking to my girlfriend's unborn baby proving a bit much for me. "I wonder, a lot, what it'll be like when you're here. I wonder if you'll take to me, if you'll let me rock you to sleep at night, if you'll curl up against my chest and smile at me. I wonder if you'll ever run to me, if you'll let me kiss you better when you fall and scrape your knees, I wonder if you'll love me, and I wonder if I'll be any good at any of those things if you need me to be. I hope for all of that, you know. Even though I'm really scared, I already love you a lot, and I can't imagine how much more I'll love you after you're born. I told your mom that I really wanted you to be mine, and honestly, I don't know what that means, but I'll try, more than anything, to be the best for you."

From above me, I heard a choked sob, and I snapped my eyes up, seeing Brittany's eyes wide open, and her hand coming down to tangle in my hair. My cheeks burned hot in embarrassment at being caught talking to the baby, and I ducked my head low, pursing my lips and gathering my thoughts.

"How long were you awake?" I asked softly.

"I felt your hands press against my belly, and I woke up. I feel really bloated and uncomfortable tonight, so..."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Don't let me eat burritos anymore. I don't need a food baby on top of a baby baby." She continued running her fingers through my hair and I laughed.

"I value my life, babe. I won't take away your burritos. I love you, but sorry." I shook my head. "Sorry that I woke you up."

"Don't be." She tilted my head up, and looked at me, all kinds of burning seriousness in those deep blue eyes, and I blushed further. "Hey, honey, you have no reason to be embarrassed. I think you're the sweetest thing I've ever heard, and the baby thinks so too."

"How do you know what they think?"

"Come here." She shuffled herself into a sitting position, and I followed suit, wrapping the comforter around our naked forms. "I know, because they're a part of me right now, and my heart feels different than it ever has when I look at you, like it's not just coming from me, you know? It's like they know that you're important to us, that you're going to be the one who loves us and protects us, forever, and they're reminding me not to forget that."

"I hope you won't."

"I won't. I'll never, ever forget that. You and I are forever. It took us a long time to get here, but as long as you'll have me, I'm here forever."

"That's exactly what I want." I gave a solemn nod, leaning over to press a kiss to her lips, a seal on that promise.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked, and I nodded. "Do you...do you want the baby to call you Santana?"

"I...I didn't really think about it, I guess. I've never been anything but Santana, or, you know, garbage face, so I don't know..."

"What I mean...what I mean, honey, is that the other day, after my doctor's appointment, you told me you wanted the baby to be yours. I thought that you meant you wanted to be their mom, but if I was wrong about that, that's totally fine, I mean, whatever you want to be is-"

"I did mean that, Brittany." I felt my voice crack at the gravity of those words. "I really, really want that, maybe more than I've ever wanted anything. I just, I wasn't sure, and I didn't want to assume, and you're already their mom, so I just figured I'd be Santana to them, since what they call me, or who I am to them, or whatever, doesn't change the way I love them. I figured I was okay with that, until you said more."

"I'm sorry, San, I thought you know how I felt. I want you to be a mom with me, I want to do whatever it is we need to do so that they are just as much yours as they are mine, legally, I mean, but in here-" She pressed my fingers to her heart, and then down to her belly, smiling. "In here, me and the baby both already know that you are."

"Wow. So I'm really going to be a mom. That's a lot." I watched her brow furrow nervously as I swallowed the lump in my throat and she wiped away the tears in my eyes. "A good lot though, the best kind of lot."

"Good, because it's the best kind of lot for me too. What do you think of that, Little Bean?" She ran her hands over her tiny little bump, and just when I thought she was going to say something else profound, she released the loudest burp I had ever heard in my life.

"Oh my God, Britt. That was disgusting." l laughed hard, wriggling away from her as she tried to kiss me.

"Totally wasn't me, it was totally the baby approving."

"Well, baby." I stroked my thumbs below Britt's naval. "You should probably learn some manners."

"Mamí is right, little one."

"Mamí." I turned the word over on my tongue, really letting it sink in, feeling my heart race at how much I loved it.

"I figured, since that's what you call your mom, and I really want them to learn to speak Spanish, like your family, if you want to teach them. But if you like something else, the name doesn't matter to me-"

"No. No. I love it, it's perfect. I just didn't realize you'd thought about it much."

"Santana, I've thought about having a family with you since I was sixteen. It's always been you. I know that this has been really, really difficult, and not the way either of us ever imagined it would happen, but thank you. I mean that so much, thank you for doing this with me."

"You're the only one, you know, the only one I would ever raise I baby with. I love this baby. I didn't even think it would ever be possible, but I love them so much already. I love them, and you so deeply that it's becoming harder and harder for me to care about the circumstances of their existence." I confessed, swallowing the thick lump in my throat. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"What will the baby call you?"

"I thought about Mom for awhile, but then I realized that when they're little, that sounds really, really too grown up for me, and Mommy is way too close to Mamí, so we'll all just get confused. So then I thought about what I called my mom when I was little, or even now, whenever I'm sad, or sick, or something, and I think I like Mama."

"Mama and Mamí." I reiterated, my lips curling up in a smile as I pressed my hands a little harder against Britt's bump, as if I were letting the baby know too. "I would ask you what you think of that, mi amor, but I'm afraid of what will come out of Mama's mouth."

"Mi amor." Brittany whispered, and I flushed a little again. "Like your mom calls you."

"Yeah. My love. My little unexpected love."

"God, I love you, Santana Lopez."

"And I love you, Brittany Pierce. A lot, a lot."

"Baby Lopez-Pierce is pretty crazy about you too."

"Baby Lopez-Pierce."

"That's okay, right? I want them to have both of our names, I want them to have the name that I I hope will someday be both of ours too." She murmured, sleepily kissing the inside of my ring finger, despite the fact that it had been years since we'd talked about that, and I smiled, my chest tight at the thought of the big thing that would have to happen before Brittany and I were both Lopez-Pierces as well, the thought of my greatest dream coming true.

"It's so okay. It's so much more than okay. Baby Lopez-Pierce. Wow."

Content, we lay back down, Britt's head on my chest, listening to the thump of my heart, the heart that beat for her and our baby, and the tips of my fingers drawing lazy hearts around her naval. It was still hard to believe, every night was we lie together in bed that it was real, that she was back, that I still loved her, and she still loved me, so entirely, after all we had gone through, but in love, there's no logic, no reason. Her, I, that tiny baby that wriggled away within her, though I couldn't feel it yet, we're going to be a family, I was going to be a mother.

"Britt." I breathed, unsure of whether she'd fallen asleep yet.

"Mmhm." She snuggled further into me.

"Do you think I'll be any good at being a mom?"

"Santana." She propped herself up on one elbow and cupped my cheek, making me look into her eyes, before cupping my face in her hands and kissing me deeply. "You're fierce, you're tough, you're protective, and when you love, you love with all that you have in you. I don't think there's anyone out there who is made to be an incredible mother more than you are."

"Really?"

"Of course really. Our baby is so, so lucky."

"Doubly lucky then." I ducked down again, pressing a firm kiss on the taut skin, my very first kiss for the baby, for our baby, then came back up to kiss Brittany's forehead, her droopy eyelids and her lips. "Because they've got you too."