There is a reason Sanzo kisses Goku, and that is because to Sanzo, Goku is purity.
There is hope in his eyes, there is courage in his heart, caring in his hands, clarity in his mind, joy in his body, strength in his soul. He is a being of unbearable sincerity, brash and truthful and all the more painful for the serious questioning look with which he confronts every new thing – like a child, or like a newborn god, Sanzo cannot decide which he is.
It is unbearable, the sense of those eyes (like the sun) on him, warm and open and painfully clear. It is a physical pain to feel that golden gaze fix on him – on him, noting every flaw, every moment of illogical rage and pain and forgiving it all.
That forgiveness, it makes him want to kill.
And even when Goku is nowhere near him, he can feel those eyes on him, looking, no, worse, seeing – passing no judgment, but in their gaze Sanzo can see himself, and he despises what he finds there.
Goku always closes his eyes when Sanzo kisses him, and even though Sanzo hates the
(revelation)
intimacy that act brings in its wake, he kisses him, because when those golden eyes are closed he can no longer see himself, and that is a relief.
He kisses him, and Goku's eyes always slide close in pleasure.
Sanzo sometimes wonders whether, by kissing him, he wants to make Goku impure, or to purify himself; when he presses his lips to his, he wonders whose truth will pervade the other.
Either way, it will serve his purpose.
Only time can tell, and until he finds the truth, one way or the other, it is simpler to kiss him, and forget why he does it altogether.
