I hate snow. Absolutely despise it. You never see just one snowflake; they always come in together...never alone. Unlike me.

I despise General Winter. Every year he mercilessly sends a frigid winter to my country.

Sometimes I wish that the snow that falls is colored black. It would hide everything...all the riots, the burned buildings, the bodies, the pain. It would hide everything except one thing: it can't fill the empty hole in my heart. My people, they hate me. They are leaving this godforsaken place to live in other countries, countries with a better economy, a better life.

I try...I try so hard to get them to stay, I really do. Nothing is working...is this all my fault? Do they hate the country or do they hate me?

I don't want to be alone anymore. I hate that I somehow drive everyone away...why? Is it because of the wars? The blood? The tyranny?

People say I'm insane, I know they do. But I'm not...right?

The other nations...they take one look at me and automatically assume I'm going to kill them. Sure, they can get annoying, but I don't want to kill them...

At the world meetings, I admit that I don't really listen to what anybody is saying. I usually just stare at the wall... They ask me if I'm okay and I always say I'm fine. I'm not stubborn...I'm just scared that if I actually tell them how I feel, I'll just drive them away again.

They are scared of me, I can tell. Probably because of the wars. The only reason I won those wars, though, is because I take all the fear, the anger, the sadness that I have in my heart out on the enemy. I blame my pain on them. I know that's wrong, but what other choice do I have?

I think most people hate me, like my boss, because they think I'm a worthless drunkard. They don't know that I drink because it dulls the pain. It fills the empty hole in my heart for a little while until it all comes flooding back again.

I don't try to drive people away. I don't try to scare them, really, I don't. It just happens that way.

I don't want to be this big scary murderer anymore. I don't want to be alone. I want-no, I need-someone that I can trust, that I can fall back on. The only thing I have to fall back on now is snow. I hate snow...

If I can somehow find the courage to tell someone how I feel...maybe, just maybe, I won't be hated anymore.