A/N: Master has given Plot Bunny a sock! Plot Bunny is freeee! Okay, that got weird quick. fem!Tom Riddle x Harry Potter (because there aren't enough of them around) And if this or any other one of my stories inspires you to write something, or you want to use something from my plot lines, it's A-Okay! PLEASE send me a link to your story so I can read it! Thank you! Anyways, enjoy! ;D

All members of the Order of the Phoenix were gathered around a table at Grimmauld Place, going over the final details of their plan. It seemed perfect; they would use a house elf named Dobby to transport them inside Malfoy Manor, to the kitchens, and then fan out to secure their control of the rest of the Dark Side's base. Each unit was planned to have unit leaders, including Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Mad-Eye Moody, and Kingsley Shaklebolt. They would take down any encountered Death Eaters while Dumbledore himself fought the Dark Lady. It would have gone well, if only the Dark Lady had normal Dark Lady hobbies like torture and mindless killing. But that was not the case with one Tom Riddle.

As the Order arrived in the kitchen, they first noticed the smell of freshly baked biscuits. That was not unusual in a kitchen, so the appealing smell was quickly dismissed. The woman holding the tray of biscuits was, however, shocking. Her dark brown, wavy hair was in a messy bun, and she was dressed in comfortable navy blue yoga pants and a white t-shirt. As she turned around they saw a pair of brilliantly crimson eyes.

"Tom, my girl, are you...baking?" Albus asked, flummoxed. He had assumed she was not the type of person to enjoy things like that. Terrorizing Muggles seemed much more likely. And she was even wearing an apron! With Muggle clothing! He was getting too old for this.

Stunned silence filled the room, everyone speechless at the spectacle. Tom Marvolo Riddle. The Dark Lady. Baking.

Tom quietly set the tray of biscuits onto the counter, and cautiously said, "Yes, I bake, Dumbledore. It's a completely normal hobby, thank you very much. Now why are you here? It's a Saturday."

Twinkling, the old man replied, "I know which day of the week it is, my girl. I had planned on raiding this manor," seeing her tense, continued, "But now I would like to know why there are so few people here. There is only you and one other. Where are the rest of your Death Eaters?" A few murmurs of agreement could be heard from the rest of the group, each wondering the same thing (among others).

Rolling her eyes, the flour-covered Dark Lady answered, "They have the weekend off like always. I do as well, so leave me alone already," she said, growing frustrated. Can't she enjoy her weekend free of paperwork just for once? "As you can see, I'm quite busy at the moment." She then gave her best Get-Out-Of-My-Sight-Now Glare. Too bad it had never really worked on the idiot. Grrr. Oh well. Now, to add the eggs and stir the second mix for two minutes until light and fluffy...

"Are those double chocolate chip biscuits?!"

Great. Black was there.

"Yes, Black. Would you like one?" she asked, genuinely curious. A chorus of "Don't do it!"s and "It'll kill you!"s followed her question. Really, how stupid were these people? Like she would poison her own food. Imbeciles.

"Uh, I don't know...maybe..." he paused for a moment, considering the option's pros and cons. After a few seconds of contemplating, he casually said, "Yeah, sure. Why not?" So Tom handed him one of her biscuits, with or without a comment about stupid Gryffindors and how their stomachs override common sense. "It actually tastes good! Like, Hogwarts-level good!" he said in amazement. Who knew that the most feared witch in history could bake?

Before Tom could form a snarky reply, a young man of about twenty came into the kitchen. His raven hair was messy, similar to Tom's, but his eyes were a startling Avada Kedavra green. Was that-?!

"Harry, get out of my kitchen," the busily stirring woman said. The entirety of the Order of the Phoenix once again went into shock. Harry, their Harry, was in Malfoy Manor, not only talking civilly with his arch-nemesis but holding her by the waist now as well! Did he just nuzzle into her neck?!

"Aw Tom, I just want to spend some time with you, love," he said in the sweetest voice he could muster. She could no doubt feel his "innocent" smile on her neck.

"Of course. This has nothing to do with you trying to convince me to bake treacle tarts again," she absently stated as she popped another tray of biscuits out of the oven, this time oatmeal raisin, her favourite.

"Please, Tom? My darling, my sweetheart, my love, won't you bake me some of your wonderful, heavenly treacle tarts?" He looked at her with big puppy dog eyes, and she sighed, knowing she couldn't put up a fight against those expressive green orbs. Although, soon after she smirked at him, turning around in his arms. The Order was still dumbfounded, their brains overloaded by all the information they received today.

When Harry raised an eyebrow at her look, she calmly said to him, "Since I knew you would ask me so nicely, I've already made some for you, darling. They're under a freshening charm on the counter by the cupboards." That made Harry's eyes shine, and he proceeded to give her a loving kiss. Tom gave a soft laugh as he practically skipped to the treat, snagging a double chocolate chip biscuit on the way.

Having just now noticed the paralyzed witches and wizards standing in the kitchen, their mouths gaping, Harry awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, and said, "Um, hey guys, what're you doing here?" He really was a master at conversation.

They just stood there, until Remus spoke up, being the voice of reason, saying, "Hi, Harry. We were just stopping by. I think we're all going to go home now and have a nice cup of tea... With chocolate. Plenty of chocolate... See you later, then." He still seemed a bit dazed (they all did) as Dobby escorted them out. Albus later concluded that it was just a very strange shared dream that meant absolutely nothing. But still, the next plan they made included a plan of action for random things a Dark Lady would do in her spare time. Like baking.