Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts and related characters belong to Square Enix and Tetsuya Nomura. Reviews would be appreciated. Contains hints of Namiku, Sokai, Haylette, Rokushi, Vanqua, Terqua, and Venfuu. Slightly AU.
Longing For Yesterday
Chapter 1: Outcast
It was the same, no matter what.
No matter what I did, no matter how many places I had gone, I was always an outcast. I was different, never able to truly fit in. There wasn't anyone else like me in the entire universe.
Some people used to tell me that was a good thing. I have to argue. Being unique and an individual is nice, but this was farther than that. I could never truly fit in, never really be accepted.
I was something that had never been before.
I was a Nobody, but I wasn't like the other Nobodies that I had encountered. I had been captured by Organization XIII, dwelled in their grasp, yet I wasn't like them. I wasn't a normal Nobody.
I had been born from the heart of Kairi while it was within the heart of Sora. This had never occurred before in the history of time. I was an oddity, a witch as I had been called many times, and I alone had the power to rearrange the chain of memories of Sora's heart.
I would never do that again.
I cared for Sora. He was the first person I could ever truly call friend. Though I could never fully fit into his life, at least he made me feel significant.
I felt loved and protected.
Sora made me feel warm…
It was his words and his alone that made me give in to the request to attend Destiny Academy. My reluctance began when I had discovered that people from my past attended the boarding school. People such as Sora, Riku, Kairi, Roxas, Axel, Xion, Hayner, Pence, and Olette, along with Aqua, Terra, Ventus, and Vanitas, people I had heard of, but had never encountered personally.
How could I ever truly be their friend when I didn't belong?
I didn't have a home in this universe. No world could become a home to me. I didn't belong anywhere.
I was insignificant and different.
I had no place to escape, to feel safe, to actually say that I was completely content and happy at.
No matter how far I had traveled, no matter how far I had gone in this life, I still didn't have anything to claim as mine.
Yet what did it matter?
I was a Nobody. A different Nobody from everyone else. I didn't have a heart.
I did have feelings though…
And this was something that others tended to forget, especially the Somebodies.
Except for Sora…
He always remembered I had feelings.
Sora…
His name was my happiness.
His voice was my comfort.
He was my one and only best friend.
My sweet Sora…
"Naminé!"
Hearing him call out my name the way he always did whenever his sky blue eyes would see me always made me feel actually normal. Feeling his strong arms crush me against him as he picked me up, hugging me close as if I was his precious baby sister made me feel as if I wasn't insignificant. Touching his warm face with my cold hands made me feel alive.
Sora looked down at me, staring into my frosty orbs. It was if he was gazing straight into the depths of my non-existent soul. He argued with me on this as well, claiming that if I didn't at least have my soul, then there was no way I would have my humanity.
I felt his lightly calloused tanned hand press against my cheek, his thumb lightly stroking my jaw line as his lips formed that handsome smile. He ran his fingers through my silken pale blond strands as he pulled his hand away.
"I'm so glad you're here." Sora said, taking a step back and crossing his arms behind his back with a grin in place. "Kairi and Olette have been really excited about having you around."
I smiled shyly upon hearing this. It was nice that the two of them were happy about my coming to Destiny Academy, but I knew that it wouldn't be long until I was left by my lonesome. Other than Sora, no one really ever sought out my company other than the fact they felt sorry for me.
I didn't want their pity. I was fine being alone. Being lonely was something I had learned to cope with. Sora lessened the pain of it with the time he did spend time with me.
He led me down the winding path up to the entrance of the silver and blue castle-like structure. We passed under an arch that head the school's motto and insignia, Sora's hand cupped around mine as he led me, an extra spring in his step. He couldn't stop smiling, looking over his shoulder at me, his chocolate colored spikes even wilder than I remembered.
Sora really had grown up to be a handsome young boy…
I felt myself blush as I found myself thinking of my best friend as handsome. I needed to stop that. It wasn't right. We were best friends, practically family. Or at least that's what I considered us as. Sora was the closest thing to a family I ever had.
Despite the fact Kairi was my Somebody, we weren't close. Sure we held similar interests, but that was simply because I was her Nobody. We were the same yet different as night and day.
Sora laughed happily as he pulled open the large blue door to the entrance hall as we passed through the courtyard, "Don't you worry, Naminé, you're going to love it here. I just know it."
I gave a nod, "Right…" I whispered.
I couldn't shatter his fantasy. Sora simply wanted the best for me, to see me happy.
Who was I to take that away from him by showing him how definite my reality truly was?
I couldn't take that away from him. Sora had too much of a big heart to hurt that way. It was better to allow him to dwell within his delusions then force him to see what I really saw.
I followed him as close as I could, even going to the means of hugging his arm and avoiding the glances we were receiving. I knew what these students were thinking.
How was it this strange newcomer had the same face of Kairi?
Even if we shared the same face, we were different people. We weren't even truly related, unlike Sora and Roxas. They played the role of brothers, and for the most part they were. It was the same for Kairi and Xion, who were practically sisters.
It had gotten to the point where pretend had become reality for them. Now whenever people would ask, both Kairi and Sora would tell everyone that Roxas and Xion were their siblings. I should speak up, protest and tell them all that I was Kairi's other half, not Xion, but what's the point?
Xion at least held the same interests as Kairi. I wasn't going to take away her happiness because of my loneliness. It was easier to simply step aside, let Xion take my place as Kairi's true other half.
I watched them out of the corner of my gaze, feeling my face heat up from their stares. They were making me feel uncomfortable, even more of an outcast than I already was. Why wouldn't they stop staring at me already?
"Naminé!"
The collected group of voices calling my name the moment we were down the corridor finally caused my eyes to lift up from my shoes. Sora patted me on the back of the head after freeing his arm, giving me a small push forward. My arms wrapped around myself, unsure how I should greet the group in front of me.
Of course, Kairi, Olette, and Xion hugged me first. I returned their hug but only briefly. It felt strange actually seeing Kairi and Xion together, to know that there wasn't any room for me.
What was I thinking? There had never been any room for me. I didn't have a place where I belonged.
Hayner ruffled my hair in that playful big brother kind of way, and Pence gave me an awkward hug next. I tried not to look at Roxas and Axel. They were the equivalents of Sora and Riku, and Xion was the equivalent to Kairi.
Once again, there wasn't a place for me as I had originally thought.
"Hey…"
Roxas' warm breath tickled my ear as he hugged me tightly, much like how Sora had done. He was just like him, just as overprotective and caring towards me. It was almost as if they were a pair of older brothers defending their weird and unwanted little sister from the world, trying to accept me for who I was, though knowing I was different.
I couldn't let it go how different I was. I loved being an individual, but I didn't want to be this different from everyone else. I hated it so much and there wasn't anything I could really do about it.
"Nice to see you," I breathed softly.
Roxas pulled back to let Axel greet me. I flinched a little as I recalled memories from Castle Oblivion, but the redhead simply gave me a cheeky smile, and then, much to my surprise, reached over to pat me on the head. I blinked in confusion, unsure how to take his actions towards me.
Finally I looked at the one whose replica had sacrificed so much to protect me. Even if it had been his replica's actions, they mirrored a side of Riku that would surely do the same thing if he was protective over me. My frosty eyes stared up into teal orbs, his platinum bangs falling into them, and his lips formed a whisper of a smile. He had cut his hair since the last time I had seen him, it now just barely brushing the nape of his neck in his layered spikes.
"Glad to see you again, Naminé."
It was a simple sentence, a simple greeting, but I cherished every word.
"S-Same t-to you, Riku." I managed to reply.
His heated gaze traveled over me, taking me in inch by inch. I could feel a strange shiver go down my spine as the warrior did this. My body trembled under his gaze, longing for a small touch of his hand against my warming face.
I didn't understand why Riku's gaze and Riku's alone did this to me.
It placed my body under complete and utter havoc.
And I enjoyed every second of it.
I didn't have a heart. I had nothing to give him. Yet I wanted to give him the world.
Yet… why?
A/N: So what do you guys think? This is an old writing I found from a few years ago. I figured, what the heck, might as well put it up and see what people think. I'll update once I have between 3-5 reviews, okay?
xWhitexWindx
Musical Inspiration: Soundscape to Ardor - Bleach
