I looked at Grissom as he stood at his desk sorting his mail. He didn't notice me standing at his door fantasizing about throwing his things off his desk and kissing him. Ever since the day he pinned me to the bloody sheet in the lab I haven't been able to forget how he looked at me. He put the last piece of mail down looking over seeing me.
"Sara, what are you doing?"
I felt silly for just looking at him. He watched me fidget then come in closer.
"Um, I was wondering if you could help me at the lab."
"Well, I am kind of busy." He said
"It would only take a minute of two."
He looked at the mail piled on his desk then he looked at me.
"Okay."
I nodded watching him take his coat off coming with me. I walked with him to the lab I was in. He looked seeing a blanket on the floor. I closed the door looking at him.
"What am I doing?" He asked
"Lay on the blanket." I said
"You want me to lie on the blanket?"
"Yes, on your back."
He looked at me as I motioned to do it. He moved over to the blanket lying down on his back.
"Now what?" He asked
I got a pillow from a bag walking over straddling him.
"Sara?"
"Ssh!" I said, holding the pillow above his head. He looked at it then at me. "She must have subdued him with something then took the pillow while he was stunned and put it over his face."
He watched me lower the pillow over his face holding it down then I lifted it up looking at him smiling.
"That would make sense as he didn't struggle."
"Or he was asleep from some activity before." Grissom said
"Yeah."
I put the pillow down beside his head leaning over him with my hands on either side of his head. He looked up at me as I smiled down at him.
"So am I done?" He asked
"Not quite." I said "Would you like to have dinner with me?"
"Sara, we talked about this."
I leaned down till our faces were an inch apart searching his eyes. He searched mine nervously.
"Grissom, do you like me?"
"Sara…I."
"Do you like me?" I asked, coming closer to his lips. He licked his anticipating my lips on his.
"This is inappropriate." He said
"No one is around." I said
"Someone….could see."
I sighed searching his eyes.
"Do you like me?" I asked, again.
He looked at me silently struggling. I looked down at his lips unable to stop. I closed my eyes kissing him. He closed his eyes kissing me back. I moaned as he put his arms around me deepening the kiss. I moved back breathing heightened looking at him. He looked at me with his arms still on my back.
"I need to go." He said
I got up helping him up. He looked at me then walked out quickly. I sighed looking at the blanket shaking. Grissom went back to his office sitting down touching his lips thinking about what happened. His body reacted to the kiss making him feel scared.
I walked into the locker room seeing Greg, Nick and Warrick talking making plans. Greg walked over to me as I opened my locker.
"Sara, want to go out with us?"
"Where?" I said "I hope it's not that bar that we were at that one time."
"No, this is a new place. There is music and everything." He said
"Okay."
"Great, you can be my dancing partner!"
I nodded smiling at him. Grissom watched us all walk past his office in a group as Catherine stopped by his door watching us go.
"Where are they all going?" Grissom asked
"To that new place down the street. Want to come?"
Grissom watched me walk with the guys then he looked at Catherine.
"I have some paperwork to catch up on, but I can meet you in an hour."
"Okay."
Grissom nodded watching Catherine walk past thinking about me. I laughed as Greg handed me a shot of something as he took one for himself. Nick and Warrick watched us gulp our shot's down then run to the dance floor to dance. Catherine sat at the bar watching us as Nick and Warrick talked beside her.
Grissom walked in seeing her at the bar. She stood smiling at him then she looked over again at us.
"Busy place?" He said
"Yeah, let's go sit at a booth." She said, dragging him to an empty booth. Grissom looked over seeing me and Greg laughing on the dance floor.
"So how many have they had?" He asked, sitting down.
"More than enough." She said
He sighed moving so he could look at people. Nick and Warrick were talking to some girls in a corner as I walked over to the booth seeing Grissom.
"Grissom, you came?" I asked
"Yes, I needed some fresh air." He said, observing me.
I smiled feeling Greg walk over kissing me on the cheek. He whispered something in my ear making me laugh. He laughed not noticing Grissom and Catherine watching us.
"Gil, I think we should get them home. Why don't you take Sara home and I will take the others?"
Grissom looked at her alarmed then he looked over at me.
"I…..don't…"
"Gil, I would take them home, but it's going to take some time to wrangle them all."
"Okay." He said, sighing.
She stood looking at us.
"Sara, Grissom is taking you home."
I turned looking at Grissom as he stood looking at me.
"Really?" I asked
"Yes." He said
"Goodie!"
He eyed me before nodding to Catherine. I felt him take my arm leading me outside. We walked down the street to his car. He unlocked his car opening the door as I pulled him to me kissing him. I slowly moved my mouth against his feeling him push me back. I smiled as he took a breath looking at me.
"Sara, try to pay attention." He said
"Okay."
"I am taking you home that is all."
"Okay." I said, before giggling.
He sighed pushing me inside. He got in noticing I had laid my head back looking at him with glazed over eyes. He drove out onto the road looking at the cars ahead when I reached over touching his leg. He jumped looking over at me.
"Sara, stop!"
"Grissom, do you know how long I have wanted to kiss you?"
He looked at me staying quiet.
"Ten years." I said "Do you know how many times I wanted you to take me home and have….sex?"
"Sara, I am not having this conversation with you!"
"Five years!" I said "I thought….I would date Hank to make you jealous, but that never worked."
Grissom looked at me as I moved my head looking out at the traffic. He looked down at my hand still on his leg. He pulled into a parking space outside my apartment turning off the engine looking at me. I turned my head looking at him smiling.
"I'll walk you to your door." He said, getting out. I got out leaning against the car. He looked me up and down helping me to the stairs. We got to the front door and he turned me to face him.
"Can you make it from here?"
"Sure." I said
He nodded searching my eyes. I stepped closer slowly watching as his eyes looked into mine then went down to my lips. I licked my lips leaning in closer. He closed his eyes as I touched his lips. I slowly moved my hands onto his cheeks tilting my head grasping his lips with mine. His arms went around me lightly holding me.
He moved to my neck as I kept my eyes closed leaning my head against his shoulder. He stopped sighing against my neck. His head lifted up as he slid his hands to my waist.
"Sara, this is a mistake. We should not be doing this. I should not be doing this."
I heard what he said stinging inside. I lifted my head looking at his lips.
"You are intoxicated and I am about to make a terrible mistake."
"You…love me." I said
"It's not that simple." He said "I should go."
He let me go stepping away. I watched him leave quietly glancing back at me before disappearing.
The next day Grissom sat at his desk thinking about me. I walked in slowly looking pale and hung over.
"Here are the results." I said, quietly. He looked at me as he took the paper looking at it. I looked around then at him. He put the paper down on his desk.
"Sara, take a seat."
I slowly sat in a chair looking at him.
"I think we should talk about last night."
I stood looking nervous.
"No, it's okay."
"Sara, I just wanted to…" He said, standing.
"No, I don't want to talk about it!" I said, grabbing the paper from his desk. He watched me back up then walk out quickly.
When shift was ending I was getting my stuff out of my locker. I closed it walking to the door when Grissom came in stopping in front of me. I looked down sighing as he observed me.
"Leaving?" He asked
I nodded looking down still.
"Sara, look at me."
I shook my head.
He stepped closer putting his hand under my chin making me look at him.
"Sara, I want to forget everything that happened. I like you and you are still the best at what you do. I don't want to be awkward about this."
I stared at him wanting to run away.
"Okay?" He asked
"Okay." I said
He smiled a little as I looked at his blue shirt.
"I….should go." I said
He moved out of my way watching me walk to the door.
"Sara?"
I turned looking at him.
"Are you okay?"
I was going to lie and tell him yes, but nothing came out. He walked over seeing my eyes were vacant of feeling.
"You're not okay." He said, pulling me to him. I gasped laying my head against his shoulder as he rubbed my back. Closing my eyes I enjoyed the close contact. He moved his face towards my hair. I felt his warm breath on my head. "Sara."
He whispered my name in such a way it made me shiver. His lips pressed against my head. I moved lifting my head to look at him. He looked at me leaning forwards. We stopped an inch away from each other.
"Sara, we have to stop." He said
"Grissom, stop kidding yourself. You want this as much as I do."
"No, I don't want it." He said
"Then why are you holding me this way?" I asked
He searched my eyes as I looked down at his lips.
"You love me I know that."
"No, I don't."
I looked deep into his eyes.
"There is a solution." I said "I could quit or move to day shift."
He stared at me a moment before shaking his head letting me go.
"No, Sara."
"It's obvious that I am a distraction to you."
"That's my problem." He said
"I can't be here with you, Grissom. Either you sign a transfer paper or…..I will have to quit."
He watched me leave then he sat down on the bench looking down.
I laid in bed looking to the side thinking about Grissom. Closing my eyes I thought about his lips and the rest of his body. A knock at my door made me sit up looking at the time then I got up carefully walking over peeking out the peephole seeing Grissom looking rumpled from sleep. I opened the door watching him push his way in closing the door pulling me to him kissing me. I moaned feeling his cold lips warm against mine. His hand went to my head holding me in place.
What was happening? Was this a dream? I thought as he tilted his head deepening the kiss. Feeling faint my knees started to buckle, but he kept a firm grip around me pulling me against him. I felt him push me back to the couch in the living room. I fell back as he climbed over me moving his lips down my neck.
I kept my eyes closed feeling his hot breath on my skin. Everything was happening so fast. The last thing I remember was of him taking my things off quickly then lying over me again.
When I woke up I felt him breathing slowly against my chest as his arm held me in place. He moved sensing I was awake. Lifting his head he looked down at me.
"Hey." He said
"Hey." I said
He looked down at my body sighing.
"I take it we had sex earlier." I said
"We started to, but you past out." He said
"I did?"
He nodded moving some.
"You must have been to much for me." I said, smiling.
He didn't smile as he brought his hand over touching my cheek.
"It scared me. I worried that you were sick."
"I'm fine."
"I don't want you to leave me, Sara."
"I am a distraction." I said
He leaned over kissing me.
"You're not going anywhere."
I went to work feeling different as if I was living in a dream. I drove with Grissom to a vehicle accident out of town. I looked out my side as he reached over taking my hand in his. I looked at his hand clutching mine between seats then I looked at him.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked, looking at me.
"I was thinking about you." I said
"What about me?"
"You're such a mystery."
"I am not really."
I looked down at our hands together sighing.
"Sara, are you unhappy?"
"No, it's just a lot to get used to."
"I know."
Grissom looked ahead then at me again. I looked ahead seeing something.
"Grissom, look at that!" I said
He slowed seeing a large truck blocking the road.
"What is going on?" He said, getting out. I watched him walk over seeing a man walk over. They talked for a few moments then Grissom started to walk back. I took a breath relieved he was coming back.
The man watched him walk back as he took out something out of his coat. I saw what it was and jumped out running over.
"Nooooooo!" I yelled, hearing a shot fired. Grissom hit the ground as I pounced him to the ground. Grissom moved me gently to the ground seeing blood coming out of my side. I weakly moved looking at him. He looked up as the man walked over slowly pointing his gun at Grissom.
"You get up!"
"I need to stop the bleeding!" Grissom said
"She'll be dead soon. Just leave her!"
Grissom glared at the man as he slowly stood.
"Give me your keys and your wallet!" The man shouted
Grissom slowly handed him the keys and his wallet.
The man looked at the wallet then at him.
"Move over there!"
Grissom looked down at me then he slowly moved. The guy opened Grissom's wallet looking inside.
"You a cop?"
"I am a crime scene investigator." He said, calmly. "Please let me help my colleague."
The man looked down at me then he looked at Grissom.
"Help her." He said
Grissom knelt down putting his coat on my wound. I closed my eyes feeling Grissom touch my neck.
"I need to call an ambulance!"
"I told you she's dead already!"
"She is alive! She needs medical attention now!"
The man chewed on his lip then he nodded.
Grissom took out his cell phone dialing 911. He finished as the man reached over taking the phone from his hand lowering it to the ground beside me.
"Are they coming?" He asked
"Yes." Grissom said
"Let's go." He said, pointing the gun.
Grissom looked down at me then he walked with the man. I faintly heard a motor then nothing but silence.
"Sara!" Brass shouted
I slowly opened my eyes seeing lights flashing and Brass looking down at me.
"Sara, can you hear me?!"
He looked over motioning for someone to come over. I slowly closed my eyes as Brass called to me.
When I woke up I was in a room. Someone was talking to someone in the room in a low voice.
"She has lost a lot of blood." A man said
"Can I talk to her?"
"She's still sleeping. You can stay, but try not to wake her."
"Okay."
I closed my eyes hearing someone quietly stand my bed looking at me. I knew it was Brass. He watched me move my head slowly taking a slow breath.
"Sara?" He said, gently.
I slowly opened my eyes blinking slowly as the room came into focus. Brass gently touched my hand on my stomach.
I moved looking at him.
"Hey, Sara." He said "I just came to see how you were."
"Grissom." I said, weakly.
"He's still missing."
I slowly closed my eyes feeling him rub my hand. Catherine sat by the bed later reading the next time I woke. She looked over at me seeing me looking at her.
"You've been sleeping for a day." She said
"Am….I….okay?"
"The doctor seemed to think so." She said, standing. "You just need to rest for a while."
"Did they….find Grissom?"
"No, not yet." She said, taking my hand. "I hope he is all right."
I looked away wanting to cry thinking he could be dead. When I woke later Brass and Catherine were talking by the one window in the room.
"Hey." I said
They walked over looking at me smiling.
"Sara, we have good news. Grissom is unharmed and back with us." Brass said
"What?" I asked, not believing them.
"It's true, he was picked up outside of town. He said he reasoned with the man to let him go and turn himself in."
"He's alive?"
"Yes." Catherine said
I felt my heart jump as the door opened and Grissom came in looking at me. Both Catherine and Brass walked over talking to him happy to see him then they walked out leaving us in silence.
He came over to stand beside the bed leaning over kissing me. I moved back touching his face.
"You're not hurt?" I asked
"No, not a scratch." He said, searching my eyes. "Are you okay?"
"The doctors said I am."
He took my hand in his kissing it as he smiled at me faintly. He brought me home a week and a half later. I sat in bed as he brought me a sandwich and some juice. I looked down at the plate he handed me then I looked at him. He watched me put the plate down on the bedside table moving forwards kissing him. He tilted his head kissing me back. He moved back opening his eyes looking at me.
"Honey, you need to eat."
"Right now food is the last thing on my mind." I said
He smiled looking at me.
"I love you." I said
"I know you do." He said
"Can….you imagine me as your wife?"
He stopped smiling looking down.
"I think down the road I can."
"What about now?"
He sighed looking at me again.
"I think you should eat."
I watched him get up leaving the room. I sat back in bed staring at my hands on my lap. Grissom walked into the kitchen looking at the counter thinking about what I just asked.
I came back to work after two weeks. Grissom was avoiding me because of my question. He hardly left his office. I walked over seeing him talking to Greg then start to walk out with him stopping as he saw me standing by his door.
"Ah hi." He said
"Hi." I said, glancing at Greg.
"Greg, I'll be there in a few minutes." Grissom said
"Okay." Greg said, leaving.
Grissom looked at me as I watched Greg walk away.
"How are you doing?"
"Great, I was about to ask you the same thing."
"I am doing well." He said
He looked down the hallway then at me.
"Um I was wondering if…..after shift you could have dinner with me."
"Well I would, but I am meeting Ecklie and Brass."
"Oh." I said, looking down.
He sighed looking down as well then at me.
"Sara, I do want to talk to you, but I have to see Greg."
"Right, I'll just go." I said, backing up leaving. He watched me walk away quickly. After shift I walked to my car. When I got inside I saw Grissom walking out with the new woman Sophia Curtis. They walked to his car getting in. I watched him drive away hurting.
I pounded on his door an hour later watching as he opened the door dazed from sleep.
"Sara?" He said
I shoved my way past him going to his bedroom door as he followed.
"Sara, what are you doing here?!"
I thrust open his bedroom door looking at the bed seeing no one. Grissom stared at me as if I had lost my mind.
"Where is she?!" I shouted
"Who?"
"You know who….Sophia Curtis!"
"Sara, she is not here."
I walked over to him eyeing him.
"I saw you take her away in your car!"
He realized what I was talking about.
"I took her home because her car broke down."
"What about your meeting?!"
"It was canceled."
I nodded watching as he rubbed his eye.
"You just have all the answers." I said, before pushing past him to go to the door.
"Sara wait a minute!" He said, pulling me back to him. "I understand you are upset, but you have to know I would never let anyone ruin the relationship I have with you."
"Why are you avoiding me?" I asked
He let me go walking back into the living room looking down.
"I needed time to think. This has been a hard few weeks."
"You could have told me you needed space instead of keeping me at arm's length."
He turned searching my eyes.
"Sara, I don't….want to keep you at arm's length. I want you to be beside me." He said, touching my cheek. "I had to figure out if I was ready to propose that we get married."
"Are you?"
He pulled me to him kissing me slowly. I felt nothing as his lips touched mine. He moved back as I opened my eyes looking at him.
"Does this mean you want to marry me?"
"If I lose you it would mean I lose myself."
I smiled moving into to kiss him knowing that everything that I wanted was coming true.
