To not know how someone is doing is bad,
To know that they are in danger might be worse.
Piper was just walking towards the cafeteria when she heard the starting rumour of Alex being seen walking through the prison hallways.
She lowered her head and tried to just tone them all out, how could she be this stupid, she had let the anger and emotions got the best of her.
The food line was not very long yet, seeing as it was relatively early, Piper took her tray and sat by herself. It wasn't long before the sound of two trays being put on the table across from her was heard.
"Hey Chapman, you heard yet, Vause is back" asks Nicky while sitting down.
Piper lower her head again and start moving the food around on her plate "I just heard people whispering about that, it's probably just another rumour, you know how it goes around here'.
It's when Lorna speaks up that she completely stiffens
"Ya see that is definitely not a rumour, I just drove her in, got her a toothbrush and all, she didn't even look half that sad to be back here, she looked thinner though, seemed like something was bothering her'.
"Maybe you could cheer her up, now she's back you could be not lesbians again" Grinned Nicky coyly.
Before Piper knows it she's up on her feet and running to the bathrooms, some CO's yelled at her not to run but she completely ignores them. She makes it just in time before emptying her stomach in the toilet bowl. Once done she walks back to her bunk and lowers herself on the bed. Putting her head in her hands she squeezes her eyes shut. Her thoughts are running wild.
"I did this to her, I was so mad at Alex for selling me out, now I did the exact same, she could have been half way across the country by now, but I had to tell on her. She was free, now she's back in this fucked up place because of me".
The feeling of wetness on her sleeves tells her she started to cry. Time passes before she feels the bed softly dip beside her. She glances over and sees Nicky looking at her with concerned eyes. Her face tells she's not certain what to say, and she's looking for words.
"Vause came in for dinner just after you left, she asked for you, I told her you didn't take the news so well, stupid question but I'm gonna ask anyway, you alright?"
Piper looked at her and lets out a deep breath "I don't really know how to feel, she was out, now she's back in" a set of fresh tears start falling from my eyes "this is all my fault"
Nicky gets closer and puts a comforting arm around her shoulders. "Look seeing someone come back in is always fucked up. We care about each other, become some weird ass family, and when one of us gets out, we miss them like hell, but we never want to see them walking back in here, orange suit and all, and I'm sorry this happened. She fucked you over in Chicago, but this is not your fault, she told you to lie, you did, for her! Maybe this isn't even about that"
She gives her shoulder a comforting squeeze "I'm not good with this mushy shit, so just talk with her, I know it's hard but it's not like you can ignore her forever, you're in fucking prison, where is there to go really".
Piper wipes at her eyes angrily willing to stop herself from crying "I can't talk to her, she will hate me even more, we just started to talk again, I fucked this up big time!"
Taking her arm from around Pipers shoulder and grabbing her hand in hers Nicky starts "And just because you started talking again, you should talk to her, she needs you now, how could she be mad at you, you guys talked about the Chicago situation didn't you? That was not your fault, she fucked that one up, hell I wouldn't be as nice to her as you are. You talked about her being in danger, maybe it has something to do with that and she did something else"
Piper stands up and out of Nicky's grasp yelling "This is not about the Chicago situation, neither is it about her doing something else. This is about me, being responsible for her being in here again!"
Nicky looks her up and down before throwing her hands up in the air "I don't understand this shit one bit"
Piper paces for a while in the small prison bunk before sitting down next to Nicky again signing deeply she starts "She told me she was planning on leaving the city, escaping her parole officer"
lowering her voice to a whisper she ads "I told on her"
Nicky lets out a mad chuckle "Well that's pretty fucked up"
Piper snorts at that "See! I don't know what to do now, how am I going to look at her knowing I took her freedom from her, I'm so stupid!"
"Look, do what you want; I just think the better thing to do now is to just talk with her, rather sooner than later, no escaping here"
"Thanks Nicky, you give better advice than you take credit for"
"Well.. you know, I try, though this shit is hard, and I'm kinda mad at you for doing this to Alex, I mean she's cool, maybe she'll give you enough shit for this for the both of us" says Nicky while treading her fingers through her big hair.
At this Piper lets out a small chuckle "Thanks, that's comforting. I would deserve all she'll let come my way though"
"Just talk to her Chapman, I don't wanna get involved, and I also think it's probably better she hears all this from you, it'll be alright" Nicky pulls her in for a hug and Piper stays like that for a little while, hoping this will all just disappear.
However Nicky pushes her back softly and clears her throat, moving her head around to signal her she should look behind her. When Piper turns around she's met with the sight of Alex Vause standing in front of her bunk.
"Hi Pipes, uuh.. Surprise.. I guess" Alex says with a little uneasy smile.
"Al..Alex, I'm sorry, I..I have to go" tears stream down her face, and without any further explanation Piper is up and running past Alex, who tried to grab her wrist.
She looks at Nicky with questioning eyes gesturing down her body.
"Does this orange look that bad on me?"
