Ashy-note Dark. Drama. Angst. Sadness. Overwhelming fears.

You have been warned.


A Leap in the Dark

P r o l o g u e

Underneath the shy light of the moon they stood, the breeze humming a lifeless melody that did nothing to cool his nerves. Even his fire, ablaze all around them, had no power against the accursed stony feeling that lodged itself firmly in his chest. The only heat he felt was from his eyes, red and burning with the threat of tears. But he wouldn't cry—of course he wouldn't. He was the black cat. Crying only meant weakness. Weakness only meant nothing.

Somehow he felt he was convincing himself who he was, because he was losing it.

The silence engulfing them nearly tore his sanity apart. The stillness of the night sashayed his willpower to and fro, his ambivalence taking over his perfect Alice control. His fire danced to the music of the turmoil of emotions inside him, the flames licking everything around them to ashes, touching everything except her.

The girl who stood in front of him had to be someone else. His every logic fought against the idea that she was his.

There was no way these things were happening.

Footsteps broke the silence that menaced his good sense—he raised his eyes and saw her walking away—

—Another blow to his crippled heart.

He kicked his pride aside and tried to speak; forcing out the few words he could muster felt like shoving shards of glass down his throat.

"Don't—" he began, his words breaking, "—do this to me."

He watched as she froze, unable to come up with words to say to him. Shuddering slightly, he stared, still and silent, as she put one foot ahead of the other and made a beeline for the trees ahead that led to the clearing of the forest.


She had half a mind to turn around and kiss him, embrace him, and feel him for the last time before she left for good and almost slipped.

She had to do this. Fighting could be an alternative, but it was no use—because in reality there were no other options.

This painful closure had to be the only way.

And each second it took only dug the knife deeper into both their chests.

His voice was like a drug to her, tearing her away from the realms of sense and reason. It made her crazy hearing his voice so terribly pained.

By her.

"Please. Stop it."

The tone of his voice— so uncharacteristically unlike him— sent tremors of anguish down her ice-cold spine. He was pleading, begging her to stay, asking her to stop, asking her to turn around, to face him, and tell him she'll stay and that everything wasn't true.

It was all so obvious—he'd never been this vulnerable before. Never. Not even when he confessed to her, not even when she left them, not even after the Alice wars.

He was giving up everything just to make her stay.

But she couldn't. And even if she could, she would never.

The stakes she was playing at were too high. It was this or him—and she'd rather endure ages of anger and loneliness rather than the loss of the one thing she held closest to her heart. It was selfish, she knew it was, but this selfishness had too much potential for something good in the future.

Better this than him.

"Mikan. Please."

Her fists clenched. Tears began to well up, and she gathered all her strength, using it extensively to the point that it exhausted her, to keep up with this ridiculous lie of her own making.

"No."

The words were like ice daggers to her. She closed her eyes and tried to keep her voice steady and plowed on with the speech she had memorized and practiced for thousands of times already. They were perfect during rehearsals—this was no time to make mistakes. "I won't stay for you. Not anymore. I'm sick and tired of you - of them. I'm leaving, and there's nothing you can do to stop it."

And as if that wasn't enough, she plowed on, burying the knife deeper and deeper, carving out her heart and his. "I've had enough."

She had anticipated his response, but hearing it straight from his lips at that exact moment, hearing it coming from him, struck the final blow to her every cover.

"I love you."

She felt his eyes on the back of her neck, and she all but ran back to him, all but turned around to face him.

Her eyes were still closed. She had anticipated her response to these exact words, too. And they were torture to her.

I love you, too, you know that. Please don't believe what I'm going to say next. Please, understand. I need you to not believe the next few words I'm going to say to you…Kami, please…

Her throat seemed blocked. She swallowed hard and compelled herself to blurt out the words that dealt him the finality of their rendezvous, hoping against hope she does it right and that she makes believable enough.

Everyone knew she was a terrible liar, and even she knew that to some extent, but never would she have known she would have this kind of ability to lie with a straight face to the one person she considered her life and her everything.

She never knew she had it in her to lie so good.

"I don't. And I never did."

She bit back her lips at the heinous crime she had said, disgusted with herself. She struggled to maintain her composure, fearing she might slip and fail—because she can't fail, she can't.

She just fucking can't.

The price was too much for her to pay.

"Mikan. Don't do this to me, don't leave - don't. Just…please… Don't."

She took a deep breath, her mask nearly cracking open, and without any second thoughts she bent her legs to jump up into the trees, but not before sighing to the wind the words "I'm sorry."

She activated her tracking Alice on him and left with her world in pieces, her heart as fine as powdered saw dust.

A bitter smile showed itself on her face as she went about her way towards that man. A similarly bitter thought was imbibed in her mind.

Funny. She always she saw him leaving her, and not the other way around.


I've already finished writing this one ages ago, so it won't get in the way of updates. Although I plan on dragging this out a bit.

~Ashley.